The Good Slimes Never End!

WORLDS CHEAPEST SLIME

- Daniela

Now, I am not a high maintenance girl by any means. I don't expect the
biggest house on the block nor do I expect a man to pay for me. I have no
problem splitting, pitching in or even picking up the tab. However, if
there is one type of man that I will not tolerate, it is a man who
is complete cheapskate! I’M CHEAP BUT NOT EASY…OKAY I AM
We all know what it's like to save a buck or two, but when it comes to
only ordering water at a restaurant because you don't want to spend the
$1.50 on a coke, then we've got serious issues. I’D SAY

I should have seen the signs when he would only communicate with me via
e-mail. See, he lived in the 416's and I'm a 905'er, so it was destined to
be doomed. In our first conversation, he began to get restless after about
15 minutes and then explained how he's paying 10 cents a minute for the
call. Am I not worth the 10 cents?? We continued communicating by e-mail
of course, because it's free of charge. WOW

So, here comes date night. He asks me to meet him half way (even though I
KNOW it was closer for him) and he suggests "dinner" at the local watering
hole. And hey, I'm totally okay with that, right? I'm starving to death.
He said dinner, so why would I eat before hand?

We sit down, we get menus and his eyes suddenly bug out of his head
before he yelps "$6 bucks for garlic bread?? I can make it at home for
maybe 2 or 3 bucks max". I don't say much and continue to look at my menu
thinking that I have to escape. He then looks at me and says "Do you want to
share an entree?". Um? Okay? Sure. I agree to it even though we're at a
roadhouse joint where there is no entree for more than $12.99 WOW AGAIN

Our server comes along and he tells her that we'll need two plates because
we're sharing. He then chooses the ever so elegant entree of chicken
fingers and fries. The waitress asks "Would you like any garlic bread to
start?" leaving him to almost spontaneously combust and shout "No!". At
this point, I'm gagging on my ice tea for the fact that our server now
hates us and I am now considered cheap by association.

The entree comes and he keeps it in front of himself, therefore forcing me
to reach across the table for my food. I grab 1 - I repeat, ONE chicken
finger, and by the time I finish, he has already devoured all of the fries
and there is only one chicken finger left on the plate. He looks at me and
says "You don't want this do you?". OH COME ON YOU’VE GOT TO BE MAKING THIS UP…Too annoyed to even bother fighting
for what I know is mine, I shake my head and tell him to have it. I should
have wasted it by throwing it on the floor just to see him completely lose
his head.
Did I mention that I'm still starving?
The bill comes and he looks at it as if it had just grown a head. I catch
a glance at the $22.00 bill and ask if he would like to go halves. Why? I
don't know. Maybe to be nice? Or just to hurry up so I could go home already?
Reluctantly (I guess to be a nice guy) he says no, it's okay....
THEN, after calculating it a hundred times over, he looks at me and says
"Well, you had one chicken finger, so a toonie should about cover it"! THIS GUY SHOULD BE IN THE THRIFTY HALL OF FAME..UNBELIEVABLE
In the end, I gave him the toonie. Was I about to argue? No. Never! I'm
not that lame. It was a horrid date, but it all worked out in the end - we
never spoke again and on my way home, I was able to find a 24 hour
McDonald's to which I ordered my very own chicken fingers and fries :o)

THE SLIME THAT REALLY CHEAP MEN DO