The Usual Suspects is definitely in my top 20. Can't say where but it's in there with Rocky, Seven, The Producers (Original) and Zoolander. (Okay Zoolander's just a joke and the second Zoolander reference today. Don't get me wrong I love the Zoo it's just not in my top anything. Maybe top 20 to be on the gigle-weed! But only when I was wayyyyyyyy younger!)
Anyway. The Godfather of course is number 1 and The Usual Suspects is up there.
Here is the last 5 minutes of the movie. I remember seeing it in the theatre, this scene plays, the lights go up and we all just sit there with our jaws hanging low.
Completely freaked out.
This is one of those movies I wished I'd never seen so I'd still have it to see for the first time. Know what I mean? I'm even showing it in a little bigger format than my normal YouTube stuff just cause it's so freaking cool.
Oh I can just imagine all the Right Wing Guys getting all "What does Al Gore know and where does he get off telling our Mr. Stephen Harper what is what with our emissions policy?. Harumph!"
RWG's like to harumph at people like Al Gore, not considering that he's been on this issue since before he invented the internet and is probably a little less politically invested than the Torys. Yes that may be naive but too bad.
Gore was in town doing his Inconvenient thing and The Star of course covered it cause it's the Star and that's what they do. I don't always agree with the paper I used to call The Czar, but I like Al Gore and the Sunday edition is my fav.
Sunday's Star is a little more folksy and less bulky than the Saturday Star and has a little less "We know everything and if you don't agree with us your an Arse" sort of feel than the Monday-Friday edition.
I like the Sports. I like the Front page. I like the Ideas section.
In Ideas each week they have an item called 10 Things We Learned This Week!
Wow. That's a lot of things. I learned some cool stuff from my buddy Mike this week but I don't think my learnings the last 7 days added up to 10!
A couple of bits of New Info from the Star.
It is possible to make a cellphone call from the summit of Mount Everest (it is now in sight of a Chinese base station). Rod Baber is attempting to become the first person to do so. His expedition is being sponsored by Motorola. That just seems stupid. You've just accomplished this amazing thing and your like "Hey you'll never guess where I am!"
When crabs are stressed, their legs and claws fall off. Funny I once had crabs and got so stressed I though my claw was going to fall off.
"Divorce reduces a person's wealth by about three-quarters (77 per cent) compared to that of a single person... And people who get divorced see their wealth begin to drop long before the decree becomes final." This is why I'm staying married FOREVER!
Here's one thing I learned on my own this past week. My 12 and a half year old daughter Charlie, is now so embarrassed by Mom and Dad, not only does she not want to hang around with us anymore, she doesn't even want to be seen with us in our own house.
Charlie likes this. She's 12. Spencer digs it too, she's 9.
I'm nearly 60 and I continue to think really stupid stuff is funny. I liked Zoolander for crying out loud.
This will only waste a minute and a half or so of your life.
Enjoy.
Here's a little Rapitty Rap from my old pal Tom Green. He goes back a long way with the various shows and he never failed to remember we helped him once upon a time.
The last time he came through he was on tour with his Rap group and seeing him do that thang at TomGreen.com you can see he's got some "mad skills." (I learned that term from my kids. I'm nearly 60 remember?)
Lastly here's a dude I hadn't heard of till last week. I was surfing the comedy channels at U-Toob and somehow I found this guy. Very original. Kind of a latter day Steven Wright/Mitch Hedberg.
This piece isn't completely representative of his style but it's a nice intro. After you watch this check out some of his other stuff as well.
Enjoy.
I had my Web-Mentor Mike Boon over on the weekend for some new web learning. He has some issues with my house-keeping here at hh.com and he also showed me some new crap. Actually some old crap that he told me once but I wasn't really paying attention.
I have been hot-linking pictures and apparently that's BAD.
Now I'm all up and at em with Flickr and my pictures will hosted there.
I was flying a big grown up plane called a Piaggio recently. It was a special set of circumstances that I found myself in the right seat of this awesome aircraft.
Why here it is now thanks to Flickr.
I learned how to manipulate the images and text in my publishing platform MovableType. For instance if I wanted to have the text wrap around a picture, I would simply do this. I would write a bunch of drivel so that there would be enough writing to go around the picture and blah blah blah.
This is actually me at the controls of the plane at 27 thousand feet going nearly 300 miles per hour. That's high and fast. Now I think I've written enough drivel, here's the shot.
I also learned how to align the text to the right and to center a picture if I want.
I can't imagine why I would but The Boon thinks these things are important. Let's try that little trick now.
I also got Gmail. Yeah baby I'm all Googled up. So far I don't mind it but it'll take a while to get comfortable and to use all the different features. But I love the Google peeps and MB insisted I get with it and sign up.
When it comes to this stuff he's not often wrong.
Next up a complete revamp of the look and feel of the site, but not for a while. There is only so much Geek-Info I can absorb at one time.
If you're here for the first time today, read the other 4 new entries first. They will no doubt be more fun.
My Dad died 6 months ago today.
I didn't even realize it until this morning. I was going to write an entry about finishing his taxes this week and how weird a job that is.
Going through all his financial stuff and pouring over his cheque book, looking at his hand-writing and seeing the things he paid for. Very personal and in a strange way made him real to me again.
He was just a guy, paying his bills and living his life when 2006 began. By years end he was dead.
I know it's stupid but I would look at things he'd write cheques for and think, "In March 06 he bought this and he only had "X" amount of checks left in his life!"
Taxes. Death and Taxes and my Dad paid the most taxes of his life after he died. He also made the most money of his life in his last year and believe me it wasn't a lot.
Now his return is done and today I'll mail it and that phase will be over with.
I've been handling my Dad's affairs for the last 6 months and in a few days I'll close his bank account and that will be it.
I'm not sure where I'm at with all of this.
Most days I remember my Dad is dead and I'm okay with it.
Other days I remember my Dad is dead and I'm surprised/saddened/and I miss him.
6 months ago today I was devastated.
Yesterday I wrote a cheque to the government from my Dad's account and then I sealed the envelope.
It was the last one in his cheque book.
I've got to stop the Sudoku. It's driving me nuts.
Last night I sat at the kitchen table after supper for an hour and a half noodling over these numbers in a bunch of squares. I still didn't solve it.
Help me?
I was trying to figure out where I went wrong as I was going to sleep.
You know it's just not like me to be all "obsessed" about something.
This week I hear a news report that women who suffer from Migraines have improved memories.
Of course all they can remember is how much their head hurts.
"Oh my sweet lord 2 days ago my head was killing me! Ahhhhhhhhh"
Comedy gold right?
The female anatomy is like a jigsaw puzzle...a mysterious, every changing puzzle that never works quite the same way 2 times in a row.
Some times, you know after a nice dinner and some wine, kids are at their friends, you're "working on the puzzle" and you make a nice "Picture!"...ooh look there's the ocean.
Other days you're working away, working away and you get to the end and one of the pieces is missing.
"Where's the top of the lighthouse? I can't find the top of the lighthouse!?"
Men's puzzles are easier to solve than womens, of course ours have a lot fewer pieces. Just one really.
/
Former RRotD (Regular Reader of the Day for you new peeps) Soccer Mom, seemed to enjoy my "Things I don't care about" piece from yesterday.
She is a funny/cool chick who knows that Daddy likes it when others bring the content.
She wrote her own version called: Who Cares!
Who cares about Scooter Libby and that he told some guy about some chick’s covert job.
What we should care about is the fact his mother hated him enough to call him Scooter
Who cares that Richard Steele told the judge “You just opened up my family to danger you don't understand”. One innocent girl is dead because of you!
Dude’s attitude blows about the whole situation. Like the song says ~ your not so innocent ~ and dude you need to seriously heed those words.
What we should care about is the fact he doesn’t!
Who cares who Anna-Nicole Smith’s baby’s daddy is. It’s all about the cash/possible cash and we can all see it, so baby-daddy ~ don’t step so proud.
Who cares about a picture at City Hall with a bunch of crooks, sorry I mean politicians. If you don’t like where you are sitting/standing or who you are sitting/standing beside, just don’t show up and be listed as an absent, simple problem solved.
Well done Soccer Mom.
As for other potential contributors send your free content to
Youdotheworkforme@Humblehoward.com
I guess there was a couple things I missed not watching Idol this week.Yesterday I made a snarky entry about being busy and only catching a couple of minutes of the show and not really missing much, but apparently there were a few things I would have liked.
I already put up the Elvis/Celine thing and now after checking Master Boon I found this.
It's Simon Cowell auditioning for American Idol on the Simpsons. Very cool.
In case you missed it...
This is weird. I don't like Celine Dion or Elvis much, but this clip from Idol Gives Back is quite the thing.
Amazing really.
The technology that has to come together for this to happen is boggling my limited brain.
Yes I know about green screening and the such but it's still quite the feat for somebody.
So before you make the "look I'm going to puke" finger pointing at your own mouth move...check this out.
Lists are fun and an easy content generator. Magazines know this so do TV and Radio shows and now this old bit has come home to HH dot com.
Today's List is called THINGS I DON'T CARE ABOUT!
Are you ready for the fun? Then let's begin.
I don't care about Rosie O'Donnell leaving the View. Never watched it, don't care.
If I was in a coma for the last year and someone said, "Hey did you hear about Rosie leaving the View?" My first post-coma words would be, "Don't care. Never will"
Then after getting someone to sponge my dry lips I'd say, "What about that hot Oriental chick, is she still on?"
I don't care if Stephen Harper has a primper. I'd rather he had someone looking after that kind of stuff then having to go through the embarrassment of him appearing at some Global function with a big mustard stain on his shirt.
"Please welcome Prime Minster Stephen Harper of Canada." (uh Mr. Harper you've got a little bit of shmootz on your chin. No other side. Looks like some cheese.)
I don't care about Dancing with the Stars. Not even a little. When that show is canceled it will go off the air without me ever having laid eyes on it. I heard that Heather McCartney was on it and all I could think of was poor Paul. This guy was a Beatle and now his ex-wife is Dancing with the freaking Stars. Yeesh. I'd rather watch the Stars do Sudokus than dance. When they do At Home Naked with the Stars of Charlie's Angels, then I'll watch.
I don't care about the NHL playoffs.
I don't care about the PGA tour most weeks now unless:
A) It's a World Golf event or Major. B) You know who is playing.
I don't care about Cats, Helicopters, Movies with sub-titles, House, Grey's Anatomy, 24, Talapia, User-Stats, The Saturday Star, Raquet-Ball or pudding unless it's rice.
Fortunately I do care about a lot of things but that's a different list.
If you'd like me to add your stuff send it to Idon'tcareeither@Humblehoward.com.
Attention Men get somone to look up your Bum. Do it now.
Prostate cancer is one of those very avoidable cancers that sometimes goes undiagnosed out of embarrassment.
Too bad cause if caught early it's also one of those cancers that's very curable.
Guys go have your butts looked at and checked.
I bring this up today because the Star featured an interesting story about a new prostate-cancer screening test that could replace the not always reliable PSA test. Read it here.
It did mention that this wouldn't reduce the need for rectal exams...Yahhh!
Seriously the article reminded me that it's a guy thing and easily avoided so dudes go have your keister's looked at. More butt-cancer info here.
I like Mike Boon.
I like Mike Boon's site Toronto Mike.
I like to go there 2, 3, 4 times a day.
I like Mike Boon's help on my site.
Okay, I'll start writing longer sentences. I was checking out Mike's crap yesterday and found this video explaining Rss feeds and readers.( I have them on the right hand side of my page...yeah right over there under my heavily air-brushed picture!)
For the first time since he tried to explain them to me I finally get it and after watching this, so will you.
Thanks Mike.
I was busy the last couple of nights and missed The Idol Gives Back thing.
Is that wrong?
Should I feel bad that Idol gave back and I didn't?
Last night I was at a birthday dinner for my Sister-in-law, whose week long celebration is now rivaling Mardi Gras, and I saw a bit of it on a TV that was in the restaurant.
I caught a couple of images.
Ellen hosting with Ryan Seacrest. Why? Is Ryan not "Giving Back"-worthy?
I saw Bono talking to the contestants. Cool.
I saw Quincy Jones conducting the Idols in a song I heard he wrote. I couldn't hear the sound but he/they looked like they were having a nice time.
I saw Randy Jackson introducing something. Weird seeing him standing up.
Paula went to a Boys and Girls club and the kid seemed excited and then sort of uncomfortable.
Simon wore a jacket.
The Idols wore white.
No one was voted off.
There. That's like TV shorthand. I got all of that, which might have added up to 6 minutes over two hours, and I barely had to pay attention.
I also saved my family the aggravation of yelling at Paula. "What is she saying? What does that mean, "your you and your just up there and we love it:?" Is she high?"
Well some great stuff is happening.
I've been involved with LKTYP for past few years and I love that organization.
Next month I'm the Provincial Chair for the Canadian Hearing Societies "Deaf for a Day" campaign, which is going to be amazing.
Now I've been elected to the Board of Directors of the Canadian International Air Show.
(It's a good thing I don't have a job!)
The CIAS is something I've been interested in for a while. One of my best pals DW is a big part of it and I decided that it's something I'd like to be involved in.
The work in this group is done mainly by volunteers and committee heads. Which is a good thing since I know almost nothing about the show except it involves a lot of cool airplanes.
I'll be updating you about the event as it gets closer but I thought I'd give you the heads up on my latest venture now.
The Board was voted in last night and besides me (Unemployed DJ-comic) the other new members included an ATC guy from Pearson (cool) and a former freakin SnowBird (way cool)
That's right I'm going to be hanging with a guy that used to be in the SnowBirds. Okay I'm in.
This is going to be a great experience and one I hope to be able to contribute to somehow. At the very least I'll just try and stay out of the way and look at the neat airplanes.
Go here for CIAS info.
I mentioned yesterday that I'm like a Sudoku crack-head these days.
My Mother-in-law got me started and now I'm hooked. They are challenging/aggravating and once I start one I just mutter to myself till I either
A) finish it.
B) screw it up and toss it.
Yesterday I got this from someone named Jenngiglia(?)
Message: Hi Howard,
Try websudoku.com. You can play all levels and check with a "how am I doing?" as you go. Better than erasing over and over and tearing the newspaper.
J
Thank you Jenngiglia. Thank you for feeding my habit. Now I will get even less done.
If you like these puzzles this site is mother-lode.
Friend: "Do you have Raptors Fever?"
Me: "No."
Me thinking to myself. "Hmmm who talks like that?" Then," Why dagnabit, maybe I do!"
Point is I am looking forward to game 2 against the Nets tonight. Not to the point that I'll watch (I have a thing I have to go to) but to the point that I care. I want them to beat the Nets and keep the dream alive.
Maybe I don't have the fever, more like the Raptors Sniffles.
Charlie made a soccer team she was trying out for here in the O-dot.
We're all kinds of proud but best of all she's very proud of herself.
She has improved so much over the Winter session due to actually having some excellent coaching for the first time in her life.(No not from me, from real guys!)
She made what's called "Select" here last Fall. Sort of Rep C.
The deal is they take a group of girls and work with them over the Winter to try and improve their skills.
Then in the Spring everyone has to try out again.
Well that was last weekend and Charlie made it.
It's great to see one of your kids achieve something they set out to do.
I felt like such a Dad. A very proud one.
I'm blogging a little later these days since I started doing the Sudoku in the paper.
You know those little number puzzles that are all the rage.
I'm addicted.
I wish I'd never started them because now I sit there at the kitchen table muttering to myself every day like some crazy person.
"Uh if the 2 goes there, then the 3 can only go there and that means the 5 has to go there. No wait a second ahhhhhhhhhh screw it."
I've only ever completed a few of them but now I look forward to trying every day.
It's like the crack-puzzle.
I'm going to Paris for 99 Dollars!...No wait a second....
Zoom Airlines has an ad in the paper today touting their "5th Anniversary Sale U.K. and Paris $99!"
I'm like, "I have 99 bucks, come on honey let's go!"
Then you look at the fine print. I had to put on my old-guy glasses. Fares are one way on select May and June departures when return tickets are purchased. Tax excluded and subject to availability.
No shite sherlock.
So let's review 99 is really 200 if the seats are available and you want to go before Summer, not to mention the taxes will be double that.
Okay, 4-600 is still not bad. But it's not 99.
Then I read Based on price availability online...
Really.
I'm guessing that will narrow the playing field down to pretty much no one.
Still for a second this morning while I was attending to my "business" I thought I might be on my way to Paris.
Hell for 99 bucks I was going to take all of you!
That's right. I was surfing the Boon site when I came across this NY classic from They Might be Giants.
I used to love this song.
It was definitely one of those tunes that was a CFNY exclusive.
Enjoy.
I'm liking the Funny or Die site. It's where I got Will Ferrell' The Landlord. Pretty good time-wasting crap there every day.
Check it yourself.
Yes I know this is from YouTube but I couldn't figure out how to disable the auto start and it was bugging me.
Even Boon and my HTML savvy chick Randee couldn't help.
Robert Benz.
He's the man today.
He said he uses part of his lunch hour to catch up on the hh.com and that shows real commitment.
Thanks Bob.
You are today's REGULAR READER of the DAY!
(I know Robert Benz and you sir are no Robert Benz!)
A note from me.
Dear Regular Reader fans.
I appreciate all your e-mails and messages and nominations but sadly I must retire this bit.
It is old and tired and we have to move on.
Yes we had some good times. In fact the last 2 and a half weeks have been some of the finest this blog has ever seen but now it comes to an end.
Today we say good bye Regular Reader of the Day. You have touched us all in a special way.
(Okay maybe not in that special way!)
I thank you for your participation in this fine hh.com bit and I look forward to more silly crap in the future.
Let's look back on all our honored REGULAR READERS of the DAY!
(Not my potato salad but an incredible simulation.)
Jamie Oliver is that English dude who says the F word a lot and makes some cool dishes. No, not Gordon Ramsey the Hell's Kitchen chef whose also English and says the F word every time he opens his mouth. I watch Jamie O on the Food Porn Network and he always makes me think,"I could make that!"
Well last night I did.
I picked up a mammoth hunk of Schwartz's smoked meat on the weekend and decided to try his potato salad recipe with it.
Normally I can't stand potato salad but this was very good and simple.
Here it is.
OLIVE OIL AND LEMON JUICE DRESSING:
2 tablespoons lemon juice
5 tablespoons good quality olive oil
1 level teaspoon salt
1 level teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
I used these little new potatoes and he says the secret is to throw in the dressing while the spuds are hot.
It was delicious.
Fact is I love Schwartz's smoked meat so much I could have been eating a side dish of cardboard salad and it would have been fine.
Cardboard Salad.
Cut up some hunks of cardboard.
Toss in a bowl.
Eat.
Holy crap what a difference 7 days makes.
Sunday April 15th. I'm outside from 3pm -7pm watching Charlie play soccer. My buddy Geoff and I are so cold we start to whimper like children. It's minus 10 easy with the wind chill and at one point I yell to the coaches, "Hey isn't that just about enough soccer for now? I can't feel my feet!"
Sunday April 22nd. I'm outside from 1:30 to 3:30 watching Charlie play soccer. My buddy Geoff is wearing shorts and chilling. I'm wearing jeans and I'm frying my ass off. I love this country!
It was 24 or so degrees yesterday and it was a great afternoon.
Apres soccer I spent 2 hours doing stuff including un-burlaping some Pine trees that I had burlaped in the Fall. I raked and swept and garbaged and then I had my first post-yard work beer of the new year and it was awesome! Seriously it was one of those beers where no other beverage could have been substituted for it. It was the first Summer Beer of the season and I loved it.
It's nice to think that we could be looking forward to the next 5 months of similar weather.
Of course this being Canada we might be shoveling snow again next weekend.
I found this article recently about the Radio Ratings in Toronto. (Also a look at Calgary and Montreal)
You might find it interesting. It's from a cool industry site called Cartt.ca.
It's well written, informative and if you're a fan of the business you'll get a good feel for what went down with the recent numbers.
Click and read here.
Enjoy.
My sister-in-laws surprise birthday bash was this past Friday and Saturday in Montreal. Man we had a great time.
No kids, just me and the Little Women.( I love that phrase. You don't hear guys saying that much anymore cause it was so demeaning. "Where did you meet the little women? At the beach she was laying on a face cloth!)
Anyway a bunch of us hung out in Mtl and partied as only you can in that city. Cool hotel, great dinner Friday night and then Saturday lots of walking including a tour of our old neighborhood, (The crack-heads are still there, but you know they're cool French crack-heads!)
and then brunch on St. Denis.
After I picked up some smoked-meat Sandwiches at Schwartz's, (If you know the city I used to live 6 blocks East of St. Laurent) and then we walked over to Crescent Street and had a beer outside.
I'd forgotten how freaky good looking the women are. Guys too I guess but I wasn't watching them.
Funny thing the night before we all went dancing (yes I was that looped) and there was a group of us in our 40's and everyone else in the bar was about 10. Or so it seemed.
It was like, "Hey look the Moms' and Dads' are all drunk and dancing!"
I showed them. I stayed up till 1am! Okay I actually fell asleep about 12:50 but I went back to the Hotel room at 1.
It was fun to be back in that city hanging without the kids. It sort of felt a little like it did when Randee and I first met and were shacking up in an East-end Brownstone.
That was pre-kids, pre-Toronto and pre-getting freaking old.
I'm now at an age where I can still remember some of the things I used to do but can no longer believe I did them!
Now there's a good definition of middle-aged.
Well my 12 year old finished her pubic lice project. Ah those are proud moments when a child gets to that stage in life where she cries, "Daddy I got an A in Pubic Lice!"
Well done sweety.
The other night her and her friend were pasting things on some large blue construction paper and I must say for a PL project it looked very nice.
Maybe next time she can work on something more appealing, say a crampy bowel or anal leakage.
Our dog Tucker had his hair cut yesterday. My wife had them leave the hair around his head long and trim the rest of his already little body very very short.
Now he's got a big head and a teeny tiny body. Kind of like Lindsay Lohan only smarter.
I'd love to show you some pictures but while I was taking them I dropped my digital camera on the kitchen floor.
Why?
Cause I'm an ass.
The lens is jammed and the camera is f-ed.
I called Canon and found the nearest repair facility and a nice lady named Marion told me the good and bad news.
Good news...it can be fixed for about a hundred bucks. (Yah that's good news alright.)
Bad news...it can't be fixed and the lens will need replacing and that'll be 220 something plus tax.
Super.
Once second I'm trying to make the funny hey-doesn't-the-dog-look-stupid pictures and the next second I'm buying a new camera.
I guess it could be worse I too could have a big head and a teeny little body.
Finally. Isn't amazing how much different everything seems when the weather stops sucking?
I was downtown Thursday afternoon (yes more meetings) and heading home West on the Gardiner it was just a glorious afternoon.
Yes the traffic was crawling along but what a difference from a week or so ago.
It's a good thing we Canadians have short memories for how crappy it can be around here.
Just last week it looked like it was never going to warm up and now it's like "Hasn't it been this way forever?"
You're going to love this. Will Ferrel is a funny So and So!
This week I read in a few places that celebs are putting their own mini-movies on the net to exercise some creativity and to keep the buzz going on them between projects.
That Alanis Morrisette YouTube vid is one example and so is this.
It's called The Landlord and if you want to share it go to Funny or Die.
Before I send you peeps away for the weekend let's go over RRotD rules.
1)You send me your name and or nominate someone for RRotD.
2)You should include reasons why. (This gives Daddy free content!)
3)You check site 3-4-16 times a day to see if you receive honor.
4)If your chosen you send out several hundred e-mails linking friends and family to HH.com.
5)Thank you.
I would like to retire this bit in the next week to a year but then I get e-mails like this.
Message: No crap, Howard, I'm the regular reader of the day, because, I'm not kidding here, I've been mistaken for...
Bruce McNall.
I'm sure you can dig up a photo or two that resembles me.
(Seriously, I got mistaken for him at a Flames game in the early nineties back in Calgary. Wildly drunk, managed to get into some executive suite... the rest I can't remember, save throwing up on some suit's shoes)
Well I think you can see that for some many reasons (shoe-puking for one) this person deserves HH dot coms highest honor.
OUR REGULAR READER of the DAY....Brent Taylor.
(I could only find these tiny pictures so excuse me for getting carried away.)
I've been reading about this video and finally remembered to go on YouTube and grab it.
It's Alanis Morrisette and her parody of My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas.
I mentioned recently that after seeing Fergie on American Idol the other night, I may have to make her my permanent side action, now I'll have to see if I'm not busy with Alanis.
Here's the parody.
Now the original.
It doesn't matter if your a BEP's fan or not, this girl has a "fly" bum.
Enjoy.
6 Billion plus people on the planet. That's a big factory. Lot's of units and every so often one comes off the assembly line defective.
That's my theory about human beings like Cho Seung-Hui. Defective and poorly wired.
I'm not being flippant. I believe that once in a while our species spits out someone so heinous and awful, what other explanation can there be.
Yesterday's release of the pictures and video showing this guy proved to all of us that he wasn't right in the head, the fact that he'd already been identified as having a mental illness should surprise no one.
This man was known to police, a menace on campus, mentally ill and yet, he could buy a gun.
That's the part that's hard to figure out and will no doubt re-ignite the big American gun debate.
What a sad, sad avoidable tragedy.
So many aspects to this will be debated for some time to come.
Could this have been prevented? Should someone have seen this coming?
After all he had spent time in a mental facility. He was sent there after a court ruled he posed an "imminent danger to himself and others."
Police revealed yesterday that during this time they also received a call from Cho's roommate who said he feared Cho might be suicidal.
So many questions and no satisfying answers.
One of the points of contention today seems to be about NBC's decision to air parts of the video and pictures. I can see that but here's a question.
What American news outlet wouldn't have released it?
Then there's the gun questions.
Cho Seung-Hui, declared mentally ill, a danger to himself and others and suicidal walked into a shop and bought a hand gun 5 weeks ago.
Here's another question. Just what would disqualify you from buy a freaking gun in Virginia?
On the form the killer filled out it asked if he suffered from mental illness?
The gun shop owner's quote, "Obviously he lied." Really.
Another classic quote from Jack Markell, gun shop owner. "...The massacre demonstrates a need for more guns, not less. With 25,000 unarmed students around who was going to stop him?"
Okay. How bout stricter laws around who can buy a Glock 19 and maybe you could have helped with the answer.
So many questions. So much debate and then like all news it will fade away.
What will remain? Cho Sueng-Hui's name.
His name live on in infamy while the names of those poor people he killed will be forgotten except by those they left behind.
To the surprise of no one strange lil Sanjaya was voted off American Idol last night.
It was a cute diversion for a while but now we can get down to the real singers like that Doolittle chick and Lakisha.(Not so little.)
Blake may be the only guy singer that has a shot and sweet Jordan may surprise a few people cause she justs gets better every week.
If the preceding information gave you the impression that I give more than a passing rats-ass about any of it I'm sorry. Oh sure I watch it but only for Simon Cowell and those cool Ford music videos, they're the neatest!
I will say I like Ryan Seacrest more than I used to. I used to think he was a dweeb but after seeing him do that job for a few years now, I'm starting to respect his ability. He handles the contestants and the TV mechanics and the Judges in just the right way. He is like-able but he stands his ground and he supports the singers in a way that doesn't make me want to puke.
Idol notes:
Fergie performed last night. She is freaking delicious. I may have to make her my new side-action.
Simon had to apologize for a misunderstanding.
Randy's hat was stupid.
So is Paula
A recent study has proven that HH.com readers are 17% smarter, earn higher wages and have richer more fulfilling lives. (Vs those that just surf porn)
The following was from RR Meredith.
I think that my son should be the next rrod because he had a catheter stuck in his penis yesterday and it made him feel violated. He is seven months old.
I read your website every day (well, except for the day when I dropped little Gianni Danger on his head because I was reading your website and not paying attention to him). I love your Youtube links. My favorite was the "Best Friends" one. I still kill myself laughing over that one. It was hiliarious.
Oh, and he should be it because his name is Gianpaolo Danger... I got to pick the middle name.
Thanks Howard. I've listened to you since highschool. Now I feel old. So should you. :)
Well Meredith I do feel old and I feel your boy Gianpaolo Danger deserves this recognition.
A)You've sucked up appropriately.
B)You've provided some nice content.
C)Your son's got a cool name.
D)He had a catheter stuck in his dinky.
Today's REGULAR READER of the DAY Gianpaolo Danger!
(Using proprietary HH.com technology we've projected what little Gianpalo D will look like when he gets older. Meredith is going to have to beat off the ladies. Okay that sounded weird. You know what I mean!)
Do you love your dog?
Are you the kind of dog owner that thinks of your animal as a "child?"
Have you ever bought your dog a Christmas present, then wrapped it up so "He won't know what it is?"
Then, like me you want the best for your pet.
Watch, enjoy.
(Thanks to RR Tim for the "Heads UP!"
One of my best friends Lou Schizas from Bnn and Mojo, let me speak to his finance class yesterday at Sheridan.
I say "let" because I wasn't there talking about being a big shot radio ass (my usual speech) but I was work-shopping a humourous-motivational piece I wrote called "Failing to Succeed". It's a work in progress that I'm going to one day perfect and Lou was the first to let me try it.He gave me some great feedback from his Giant Brain.
My message is simple. Failure isn't something to be avoided but rather to be embraced as a gateway to Success. (I've made a career out of it!) Then I tell a bunch of goofy jokes and we all go home.
I'll just put this out there. If you'd like me to speak at your office or club I'd really appreciate the chance to do my little talk and learn a little bit more about how this type of thing is delivered.
Let me know.
Other junk.
My daughter brought home an alto-sax yesterday that she's learning to play in school.
I was very proud because years ago I took sax lessons and it was cool to see her do the same.
I had however forgot that the sounds a beginner makes on the horn are heinous, painful and actually made the dog shiver and our 9 year old cry.
"The following is an actual conversation between Howard Glassman and his dog Tucker."
Howard: Tucker! What's that noise?
Tucker: (Whistling,scratchy noise from another room.)
Howard: Are you Daddy's boy of boys? Tucker. What's that whistling?
Tucker: (Scratchy noise.)
Howard: OH you've got a plastic whistle. (singing) "You are the boy of boys!" You can't have a plastic whistle.
Tucker: (Thinking to himself) This guys nuts.
I need to get to start getting out of the house a little more often.
It's spreading like a virus.
All the HH dot com kids want to be RRotD.
That's cool but now it's going to come with a price.
I figured if I make somebody RRotD it should be a marketing tool for the site and of course a source of pride for the recipient.
So, here are the new rules for this exalted award.
1)You send me your name and or nominated someone for RRotD.
2)You should include reasons why. (This gives Daddy free content!)
3)You check site 3-4-16 times a day to see if you receive honor.
4)If your chosen you send out several hundred e-mails linking friends and family to HH.com.
5)Thank you.
So with that in mind I'm happy to present today's award-winner.
He sent me this.
"Howard, I would like to nominate myself as a regular
reader. I have listened to you since 1989 and been
reading you Blog Since Day one. I have stock
certificates from the MOJO and The Humble and Fred #1
in 97 CD. I think that I do qualify as a regular
reader. I also bought two slime books one for me and
one for my wife.
Thanks for the great site.
Mike McCoulf (Buffalo Boy)"
Well done Mike and so I give you todays REGULAR READER of the DAY! Buffalo Boy!
(People constantly tell Johnny Depp he looks like this dude from Buffalo!)
A few months ago you may remember I told you I was asked to be part of something called Deaf for a Day.
It's a pretty cool awareness initiative coming in May from The Canadian Hearing Society.
They are nice people who do good for others.
Last year Tyler and Jim from the Barenaked Ladies were the co-chairs for the event and this year it's me.
I was flattered to be asked and I'm really looking forward to being part of it.
Look here I am now.
Look I'm making faces.
Look I seem to be in pain!
You can get more info here and I'll be updating you as the event gets closer.
One of the most Regular Readers of my stuff is Randee's mom. She is by far one of my biggest supporters and I appreciate and love her a lot. Even for a Mother-in-law!
She's a pretty hip chick(older-chick) who's been everything from a mom to a teacher, securities analyst to a fairly decent gambler.
She was over last night and revealed to me that she has her own blog.
Yes it's buborama. Named after her 2 loves, being a Bubby(grandma) and Rama.
Believe me, they love her at Rama too.(Buh bye inheritance!)
Check out the Bub's Blog here.
Good luck.
I don't know what to say. These things happen with numbing frequency.It's one of the saddest, unexplainable, remarkable phenomenons of the past 40 years.
That's right, this started in 1966 with a shooting on campus in Texas and unfortunately ended for 32 students yesterday at Virginia Tech.
Of course the shooter killed himself. I guess that's what these people want. They want to kill themselves and inflict pain and suffering on others on the way out.
Cowards.
Too bad he didn't have the courage to just end his own life and leave others to live theirs.
I really don't know what to say. Who does?
My older but younger-looking Brother David has been keen on receiving the kind of recognition that only comes with being chosen RRotD.
He is a bright and erudite individual who is only slightly absent-minded.
He used to beat up my middle Brother Steven for me and he recently sent me some content.
Yesterday he made this point. "Re:RRotD I would think that this video would lock my status as RRotD - rather than merely up my chances."
I have to agree so please join me in saluting David Glassman todays REGULAR READER OF THE DAY!!!!
(Looks just like my Bro when his hair was longer...Much longer!)
My brother sent a clip from Letterman and I was searching for it on YouTube when I came across this.
It's Adam Sandler filling in for Dave and I think your going to like it.
If you don't.
No sweat, cause it'll only last 3 minutes and it's completely free with any purchase from our catalogue.
If you liked that maybe you'll enjoy this longer piece.
Don't forget to sign up for our Spring sidewalk sale where with every roll of sod you can win a free rake.
Adam interviews his dog Matzoh Ball.
(Dang we Jews are funny!)
Okay so it's not done yet. I am delighted with the response to RRotD and only too happy to give the people what they/you want.
Today recipients are very deserving. Yes I said recipients cause there is two Regular Readers being acknowledged.
What the?
Yes it's two RR's, two RR's in one.
They are a couple of great guys who I've grown to admire over the last 6 months as they have coached my daughter in soccer.
They also read my crap often and seem to get a kick out of it.
Please help me honor and recognize todays first ever dual REGULAR READERS of the DAY
Coach Ed Leyer and Coach Rob Bonadeo!!
( Not really Ed and Rob but a remarkable likeness. Ed and Rob could probably be on Male Model TV too if they weren't so busy already!!)
You know your having crap weather when Winnipeg is warmer. Way warmer. In fact the prairies seem to be actually have spring while here in the East we're celebrating a suck-tastic April freeze.
Yesterday afternoon I stood out in the cold for nearly 3 hours watching Charlie play soccer and froze my toes and finger tips.
You shouldn't freeze your extremities after March.
Hey Ground Hog with your early Spring prediction, Suck me.
Okay, I got that off my chest and yes I feel better.
I'm on the Gil Deacon show today at 11am and 2 pm. Just a reminder in case you've forgotten what I look like.
I don't think I did that well and it's not false modesty. I thought about my appearance and I was just too eager and jumped in too frantically. I don't know why maybe I was all excited to have some place to go and preform.
Anyway check it out.
Finally congrats to Bingo Bob and his new Pride Fm gig producing What's For Breakfast on the new all Gay radio station. He's working with a couple of talented folks that we used to have on the old H+F show back in the mid-90's Mary Jo Eustice and Ken Kostick.
Don Imus is done.
The 67 year old Shock Jock will be shocking no more and it solves nothing.
His comments, as bizarre and racist as they were, are not the problem.
They merely serve to divert attention from the real racial issues facing America and our society and that's a shame.
The girls on that basketball team should have been offended, but in reality weren't hurt or denied any rights or made to feel like second rate citizens.
Just some stupid comments from an irrelevant old man.
I read an article written by a black journalist who basically said that Don Imus is an easy target for people like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. As opposed to addressing the very real and sticky issues that blacks face they get to rally their constituents around an out of touch white guy who said some asinine thing. The journalist made the point that they should be talking about a prison culture that glorifies the Gansta's and makes being educated a bad thing.
I concur.
I also think that watching Matt Lauer get all prickly and indigent grilling Don Imus is a convenient way to divert America's attention away from some other sniggley little concersn. Like the BS war in Iraq, the 60 plus percent of the population that's obese and the environment. Those silly old things.
When a white guy makes a stupid remark it gets overplayed and over-discussed for weeks and in the end changes nothing.
Don Imus is done. For now at least.
Yesterday was David Letterman's 60th birthday and the weird thing is I felt old.
He's been on the air doing his thing for 25 years but for some reason it's his age that's struck me as a gauge of my advancing chronology.
See if he's 60 then I must be getting old too.
Weird huh.
I started watching him a bit on his failed daytime show but I really got into him when he went Late Night in 82. I was hooked.
I loved Carson but this guy was new, fresh and very self-referential.
I was 22 and hosting a kids TV show on CBC Alberta at the time and I ripped him off big-time.
Not so much specific bits but his mannerisms and style. I thought he was the coolest TV dude and I dug whole shows vibe. Larry Bud, The Velcro Wall, Dropping Stuff off Buildings, Paul Shafer and Chris Elliot-the guy who lives under the stairs.
Now he's 60 and I'm 47. I've long given up pretending I was him but I haven't stopped liking his style. I don't watch regularly anymore but when I do I always get a laugh.
David-Freaking-Letterman is 60.
How Freaking -Old Do I Feel?
Here's a classic Letterman interview with Crispin Glover. Years after this I interviewed Crispin and he couldn't have been nicer. Never once tried to kick me in the head.
This is getting out of hand.
I'm talking to my older Brother the other night and in the middle of the conversation he says,
"Hey I'm a RR ya know!"
Uh, Okay, so.
"Am I eligible for the ultimate HH dot Com recognition?"
Maybe if you hadn't beaten me as a child!
I'm not entirely sure that was the conversation cause
A) It was 2 nights ago.
B) I may have had a glass/half-bottle of Red.
C) But I'm sure he mentioned it.
Anyway a lot of you have referenced Regular Readership and I will try to accommodate as many as I can.
Today we salute RR Thomas J Roberts of DHL. Thom is one of those rare former listeners that I got to know through the Radio Show, that has become one of my pals.
He's been going through some tough time lately and so it is my pleasure to give the big shout out's to.
Thomas J Roberts our REGULAR READER of the DAY!!!
(People say Thom is in too good a shape and might wanna cut back on the workouts. He sort of looks like Matt Damon, if Matt were a little older and not in as good a shape. And if Matt had a bunch of snowmobiles.)
It's Gil Deacon again.
Hi Gil Deacon.
Hi Howard, you sexy Hebrew man.
I taped her show yesterday and other than being shushed a couple of times it was a lot of fun.
I deserved it, I was trying to say too much in too little time and my enthusiasm got me Gil-Shushed.
That's cool. I like her very much and I think she does a great job.
I was part of a panel with Luba Goy and my pal Kenny Robinson and it was pretty funny.
Check it out Monday on CBC at 11am and 2pm.
I'll remind you.
Deacon Notes: I invited Randee and her Mother RR Bubby Barbara to sit in the audience, and they seemed to have a good time.
Randee said I didn't embarrass her and that I looked okay except when the camera was shooting from behind and exposed the growing bald area in the back of my head.
Hey, I'm old and hair doesn't last forever.
I must say she looked great. She was wearing this cool long downtown-coat kind of thing and was turning some heads on the street. Her Mom's a good-looking old broad too, so except for my shiny pate we made a nice trio!
After the show we went over to the Intercontinental where we had some lunch and who do you think we see?
No not George Strombopoopalous.(Although he's got that big-ass billboard right next to the hotel.)
Yes, Jean Chretian, former Prime Minister of this whole country, that's who.
Very surreal.
We walk into the dining area and he's just sitting there, hanging with 3 buds and grooving to some tunes on his Ipod.
Okay the Ipod part is BS but he was just as casual as can be.
As we came in I noticed there was some get together for former Justice Roy Mcmurtry so Mr C must have been there for that.
I never cared for the FPM's politics but it was cool seeing him hanging out sipping java.
Very Canadian moment too.
There was just one Secret CSIS looking guy having a coffee a few tables away. Also very casual.
If this was any former U.S President the place would be surrounded by guys talking into their sleeves and me and my chicks would have never gotten in.
Anyway when he left my Mother-in-Law gave him a wave and he waved back. As I mentioned she was looking good so instantly I think,"What if she and Jean hit if off, he divorces his wife, converts, marries Barb and then next Passover the former PM is over to my house having some Manishevitz and trying to figure out the four questions."
Do I have to invite the CSIS guy?
Hey friends.
(This is where you might say, Hey Humble! Of course you don't have to I'm not the Boss of you!)
Today our RRotD is someone that Really Really wanted this designation.
I encourage nominating yourself and others and of course sucking up is never a bad thing but as you'll see today RR has provided something even better...Content.
Content is King.
Content means LFMTD.(Less for me to do.)
Content will always reign supreme.
Hi Howard:
Okay, I must nominate myself for the following "Top Ten" reasons:
1) I have been a loyal listener since the 80's
2) I bought your book.
3) I read your book.
4) I promoted your book on my highly viewed (in my house) show.
5) I bought you lunch, complete with a hot waitress.
6) I gave you the worst cup of coffee you ever had, for which you can
now abuse me forever.
7) I did not e-mail you any anti-Tiger commentary after he lost the Masters.
8) I gave you a cool FOX hat and a souvenir DVD of your highly rated (in
my house) appearance on the show.
9) I purchased the #1 IN '97 CD and I own stock in Humble and Fred Co.
10) I read the website every day, my friend!
Well I'm only to happy to report that today's REGULAR READER of the DAY is Jon May!
(I've met Jon May and from what I recall he sort of looks like this!)
It's been a while since I stuck some Old Me on the Radio up here and I thought you might have forgotten what I sounded like. I know I have.
Here is a little of Me, Judy and Bob talking about a guy who stole a fake leg.
Enjoy,
This American Life.
Check it out you'll dig it.
It's a different style of Radio/Television/Podcast that is unique. Very un-American sounding.
Almost a CBC-ish type of show that has a very neat sound.
I listened to the latest show for the first time and it was captivating. An interview with
Astronauts about what they do when they're not in space and a guy that offers lottery winners money and they guy that plays The PC on those Apple commercials.
Very interesting. For a long time, This American Life was only a radio show, one with a hard-to-describe sound, millions of listeners, and a bunch of awards. Then, after more than a decade on the radio, we started the television show, mostly because it seemed like it might be fun. We continue to produce the weekly radio show, which can be heard on more than 500 public radio stations around the country (find a station near you) as well as on this website, through our free podcast. The television show is on the Showtime network.
I often mention Mike Boon. He is HTML Obi Wan to my Luke. He got me started using the Blog-Force and is still an adviser/mentor/friend when it comes to issues that arise.
I also like his site To Mike.
He recently turned me on to this great BBC doc about the Most Hated Family in America.
Do yourself a favor, put aside about 40 minutes and give it a look. It's un-F-ing-believable.
I'm taping the Gil Deacon show this Thursday Morning. Wanna make a made dash down and check me out?
Here are the details. Time: Audience check in between 9:15am to 9:30am for a 10am show start (Show to last until noon)
Location: CBC - 25 John Street, Toronto
Contact: Lindsey Stewart at gilltix@cbc.ca or by phone at 416-205-2944
I'm on talking humor with Luba Goy(?) and my pal Kenny Robinson.
Kenny was one of the first Yuk Yuks comics I ever went on the road with. It was quite the experience filled with all sorts of stuff I can't divulge here.
Some of it involved MAP.(Massive Amounts of Pot.)
He and Wayne Fleming and I toured Albert for about 3 weeks together and I'd never seen anyone consume The Herb the way these lads did.
Of course that was a long time ago and no one does that anymore. It's illegal and wrong and nowadays the pot is so strong if you smoked that much you gnaw off your own hand.
I'm writing this prior to the American Idol results and I'm going to say this. Sanjaya isn't going anywhere.
The dude has got something.
Tuesday night he sang some song that didn't suck and he's going to stick around.
He's actually getting better.
Randy said he thinks Sanjaya may be one of the smartest contestants they've ever had on the show. Then Randy said,"Yeah! Dog and the Yoh factor!"
I get it. Sanjaya may have only been pretending to suck and now he's got all this sympathy and all of a sudden he's not bad.
All I know is that the chick with the nice legs is done.
I've been busy the last couple of days and the next few are packed as well so excuse the short postings.
Bingo Bob e-mailed me yesterday. He referred to my posting about Charlie's' pubic lice project and said "What school is she going to? Ron Jeremy Junior High!"
Very funny that boy.
She is doing some Health class assignment on pubic lice. I'm just glad it doesn't involve a trip to Home Depot. How awkward would that visit be.
"Yeah we're doing a project on pubic lice, have you got any, uh, steel wool?"
I talked to Judy Croon yesterday on the phone, dam she's funny. Plus she's a great laugher.
I was going over some material with her and she never fails to make you think your on the right track. Lot's of comics I've worked with over the years only react to something funny with a blank stare or the words, "That's Funny."
If you ever get a chance to see Judy do her thing go, you won't be disappointed
I had two weird things happen to me in my car recently.
1)I was in a parking lot traffic jam.
2)I got into some road rage incident with a mother and her kid.
1)I'm downtown for a meeting yesterday(I do that a lot, it seems) and I went to get my car in a lot East of Yonge street.
It was jammed with 15 cars, all trying to get out at the same time. It was madness.
How is it that all these people decided to leave at once?
This only happens in Toronto.
20 minutes later I asked the ticket-lady if I could get a discount since I was finished parking 20 minutes ago and I shouldn't have to pay for the time it took me to get out.
She just stared at me blankly and said "That's funny."
2)I'm on my street going home just under the speed limit-50 kmh-when Mini-Van Mom passes me!
Seriously. She speeds up to at least 65, goes around on the left and flies by me.
I freak out and chase her down.
She stops.
I roll my window down and say,"I'm sorry to bother you but you just passed me on a residential street! There are kids on that street"
She' a little freaked out but comes back with.
"I didn't see any kids!"
Nice. I say, "So you think it's okay to go that fast in a neighborhood with kids?"
Mini-Van Mom tries again."I'm in a hurry because it's an emergency!"
This is quite the debate.
I yell back,"Good try. You should be ashamed of yourself!"
She says,"No you should be ashamed of yourself!"
Huh?
At this point I gave up. I guess I should be ashamed of myself for having the nerve to call her on her reckless behavior.
I'm not ashamed though. I just hate the thought of a kid being run over because some idiot is in too big a hurry.
Sorry, I don't have a punchline here.
Today was tough. So many people want to be RRotD and so many are deserving. Yes I'm talking about you Buffalo Mike, your day is coming soon. You too Mike Boon you'll have your chance.
But today I'd like us all to wish a big hearty HH.com congratulations to Jason Meltzer Patterson.
Jason is a very loyal reader and in fact he nominated Kelly, yesterday's RR.
If you'd like to read JMP's blog go here.
So enjoy the notoriety today Jason because you are todays REGULAR READER of the DAY!!
(This Jason impersonator is being interviewed. I hope he's not telling people he's the "Real"
JAP!)
If you would like to nominate yourself or a loved one to be a REGULAR READER of The DAY!
send the info to REGULARREADER@Humblehoward.com.
This guys is a master beat boxer. When I was a kid someone who was a Masterbeatboxer meant something else entirely.
This dude makes some cool sounds with his mouth.
Thanks to RR Tim for the heads up.
Check it.
Random Stuff for Tuesday.
It's Radio Ratings day today and for only the second time in nearly 2 decade I'm not involved.
Good luck Radio People.
I promise you everyone will find some way to say they're number 1 by days end.
"We're Toronto's most listened to Station" (....with Men 25-26 who report an income over 30 thousand but less than 32, living between Toronto and Mississauga and having no permanent address. Oh and we're number 1 with hermaphrodites.)
I'm still getting over the Tiger loss. In sports it's hard rooting for somebody or a Team and then watch them come up short. Of course it could be worse I could be a Leaf Fan.
Wow.
I talked with my pal Mike Boon today and he made an interesting point. He said, "At least Tiger will play in a few more majors this summer, that's it for the Leafs...no more chances!"
No kidding. From what I've read today if the team doesn't do something drastic, they won't make be playing any majors again next year.
Finally my 12.5 year old Daughter made this announcement recently.
She's doing a health project on pubic lice.
Eeeeewwwwww.
Pretty much our reaction. How proud we were, as you can imagine.
I'm thinking what kind of project is that? What happened to making baking soda Volcanoes?
She said it could have been worse, she could be doing Gonorrhea or Chlamydia.
Yes your right honey, it could have been way worse.
Probably the only time as a father that your happy your daughter only ended up with pubic lice.
I'm going on the Gil Deacon show this Thursday. She's a lovely Television presenter and I'm happy to be asked back.
Why here she is now.
Hi Gil.
Hi Howard. I love you the most.
Okay maybe she didn't say but I had a great time on her show last Fall pimping my Slime and now I'm returning just to be part of a panel about humor.
Specifically are Men funnier than Women and if yes Why or something like that. I don't know if it has anything to do with Men/Women I think it's just a matter of being Jewish or not.
If you're not Jewish then you're not funny. There, now let's back to talking about my book.
Of course I kid.
Women don't have to be funny they have boobs!
Again with the kidding.
There are lots of funny women, but only the Jewish ones.
Enough with the fun-poking.
If you would like to be part of the taping and enjoy the ribald good times up close then here are all the details.
Date: April 12th 2007
Time: Audience check in between 9:15am to 9:30am for a 10am show start (Show to last until noon)
Location: CBC - 25 John Street, Toronto
Contact: Lindsey Stewart at gilltix@cbc.ca or by phone at 416-205-2944
It's back.
Yesterday I didn't have time to honor another RR but I'm happy to say the requests and inquiries are rolling in.
It's my pleasure to recognize those that make regular stops here at HH.com and I appreciate your internet surfing time.
You're always welcome. Stay as long as you like, enjoy the free peanuts and big-screen TV's and don't forget to tip your waitress.
My plan is to keep this going so that everyone will get a chance to have their moment in the sun,(yes you too RR Ed and RR Rob!) or at least until I'm sick of the bit.
Today RRotD is actually a nominee.
This note came from RR Jason: My cat and my Kitten read HH.com every day too!
Id like to also nominate Kelly from FireFly Knit!
I know she reads you every day!
Thank you Jason.
I went to her site and she had a keen recipe for cabbage rolls.
For this and more Kelly is our REGULAR READER of the DAY!!!
(Looks just like Kelly only Kelly makes better cabbage rolls.)
If you would like to nominate yourself or a loved one to be a REGULAR READER of The DAY!
send the info to REGULARREADER@Humblehoward.com.
Say hi to Zach Johnson.
Hi Zach. Congratulations.
Tiger played as bad a final round/major tournament-in-contention as I've seen him do for a while.
No sour grapes, just disappointment. I'll talk about that later.
In the meantime Augusta National was a bit more benign yesterday and a bunch of guys took advantage. Retief Goosen played well-69, as did Rory Sabbatini-also 69 and the winner Zach J another 69.
In fact it seemed everyone played better except for He Who Usually Wins. He played crap.
It was still emotional to see such a great guy's life change.
In this sport you win a Major and your on a different level, a win at Augusta means you're part of a rich history.
You win the Masters, you're a Masters Champion for the rest your life.
Notes:
Mike Weir had a nice last round-71 and finished T-20.
Phil Mickelson tripled the first hole and was done about 18 minutes after he started.
The green jacket ceremony is still as awkward as getting caught necking with your sister-in-law. Not that I'd mind that, all of my sister-in-laws are juicy.
I'm not saying I fantasize about my sister-in-laws, I'm just saying that Butler Cabin thing is awkward.
I'd much rather watch my some necking session involving my sister-in-law.
Oh forget it.
More Notes:
It sucks to be a Leaf Fan. Those arse-wad NY Islanders beat New Jersey in a shoot out to knock the Leafs into the golf season.
Simple solution...play better earlier.
The same could be said about Tiger.
Late last year Tiger won some off-season tournament and I wrote a piece about how my Dad and I would analyze every Tiger win or loss. (In case some of you new peeps didn't know my Father died in October.)
I basically said it would be strange not to hear from my Dad as soon as the round was over.
I thought of him a lot Sunday.
Before the telecast, I spent some time gathering his stuff to prepare his final tax return.
Nice.
I had to get his will, his death certificate and other personal items, so I was in a pretty maudlin frame of mind anyway.
Then it was time for The Masters.
For as long as my Brothers and I can recall, golf was a big part of our Fathers life.
My Dad loved the game. Loved playing it, watching it, learning it and sharing his knowledge of it.
I became a good player because of him.
My Brothers and I all loved the game because of him.
I watched a lot of golf at his side. I talked a lot about golf with him.
Yesterday I watched the last round with his chair for company and when it was over, I said out loud, "Well Lou he can't win them all!"
My Dad would have been pissed at Tigers play yesterday.
I can just hear him. "Why did he do that?" "How can he hit it short?" "Why can't he hit a fairway!"
When the round was over we'd go through it, I'd defend Tiger's bad play and my Dad would wonder why "they never show Weir!"
Pretty typical.
Yesterday the Broadcast ended, Tiger lost and the phone didn't ring.
I'm told that this is all part of The Process. Sometimes The Process sucks.
It was weird and something I'm going to have to get used to.
Tiger can't win all the time and my Dad won't be calling me on Sunday afternoons anymore.
This is the 90th anniversary of Vimy Ridge.
What?
A place in time, an event, a battle that this country won on our way to a place of prominence and influence on the world stage.
What?
I know a lot of people, myself included, aren't real clear about what exactly Vimy Ridge meant and means for Canadians.
Yesteraday Rudyard Griffiths, (my new favorite columnist named Rudyard) had a great piece in The Star putting it in perspective.
He says, Tomorrow(Today) Canadians celebrate the 90th anniversary of the World War I battle of Vimy Ridge. At Vimy, a 14-kilometre escarpment that sits atop the Douai plain of France, 30,000 Canadian troops achieved not only a stunning military victory over their German adversaries, they also won for Canada the beginning of an independent and influential voice in world affairs.
Who knew.
Read the rest here and then let's not forget this, okay!
While we're at it lets not forget this either. Sad sad day for our country.
Polyp Man Sing and Dances on Ice...No I'm not Kidding.
My last year in Radio I worked with a great group of people. Andy Wilson, Bingo Bob, Judy Croon, Curits, Leslie Kaz, Various Bizarrely Named Interns and Elliot Gordon.
When I'm asked if I miss being on the air I invariably answer, "No, I miss the people I was on the air with."
Elliot Gordon was a late addition to our band of mis-fits. He started with us as a contest winner and ended up being a big part of the show. Very funny dude, great singer/voice guy and an all around nice person.
He's also very bright. He got his Real Estate license while working with me just in case the whole "Show Bidness" thing didn't work out. Good move.
After I was fired he went on to work with Judy Croon and Mike Bullard.
Now that they've been fired he's selling condo's and touring as Polyp Man. Yes he dresses up like a giant polyp and performs for Internists and other Dr's at their conventions.
No joke.
He recently performed his Polyp Man thing on ice.
Enjoy.
(This is definitely the guy I want selling my house!)
This is shaping up to be one of my favorite Masters.
I loved when Weir won...I could barely watch that putt on 18.
I dug it when Tiger lapped the field and began his World Domination Tour back in 97.
I felt Noman's anguish in 96, Crenshaw's Tears in 95, and was almost happy for Phil when he lept Fat-Guy-Styles into the air after winning his first Major/Masters 2004.
This one is looking like a classic.
I mentioned yesterday that the golf course was finally playing the way they wanted it to after lengthening the course in 04.
Round 3 was absolutely brutal. The highest scoring average and the highest leading total ever.
Watching the best in the world making pars and bogeys is okay with me and kind of cool once in a while.
Mostly it won't diminish the enjoyment of watching Sunday at Augusta.
As many of you know, I like El Tigre. For the record though, now that the final round is here, it'll be okay if he doesn't win, I just think it's more exciting for everyone when he has a chance.
(I of course want him to win I'm just covering my ass if the "unthinkable" happens!)
Notes:
I was right about Tiger he had the second lowest round of the day.
I was wrong about Brett Wetterich, he shot a million and faded.
The winning score will be +2.
The winner won't be Stuart Appelby, Zack Johnson or Vaughn Taylor.
If it's not Tiger it might just be Justin Rose, Padraig Harrington or maybe even Phil.
Other Notes:
Nice Leaf win last night. Great game. Too bad the playoff outcome rests on The Islanders.
Go here for updates. Go New Jersey.
This Masters is a bit different for me as I'm actually watching a few rounds with others.
I've already mentioned that it's always been a solitary affair with the exception of watching the odd round with my Dad.
This year I went on the road to watch round 2 with my pal Lumby and today my buddy Damian is coming over for round 3.
I'm not ready to watch the final round with anyone yet. Maybe after some therapy.
Before I went over yesterday I prepared some guidelines for proper Masters-watching behavior.
I thought you might find them amusing.
Rules for watching the Masters with Howard.
1)Don’t ask stupid questions. Pointing at David Howell and saying “Who’s that guy?” is a stupid question. Also why is Phil’s caddy nicknamed “Bones?” qualifies.
2)Say very little. Nodding, grunting or exclaiming “unbelievable” is acceptable.
3)If you have something to say that requires more than a word or two, pause the PVR, say it and then go back to not saying anything.
4)Do not cheer against Tiger. If you have something negative to say about Tiger, write it down and send it to me later. I’ll receive and delete it on my own time.
5)Do criticize Phil Mickelson at your leisure. If the criticism will take more than a word or two see Rule 3. “Nice shot, fat-boy” and “Good putt Mickel-boobs” are fine retorts and can be sprinkled in through out the Masters-watching.
6)Don’t ask me what I’d think you’d shoot at Augusta. The answer is 140.
7)While watching the Masters don’t ask me about anything that’s not golf or Masters-related. Everything’s fine and I’m not really listening.
8)Don’t mock my Tiger Woods bobble-head. It’s my lucky Tiger-charm and you’ll hurt his feelings.
9)Yes, Mike Weir has a chance; no it’s not a very good one.
Finally,
10)When in doubt say nothing. Watch the TV, enjoy your snacks, keep your hands off the bobble-head and we’ll all get along
No contest. The course is winning and it's not going to stop. I was right and wrong about a few of my predictions yesterday but personally I'm loving this edition of The Masters.
This is how Majors should be played. Par is an awesome score and whomever wins is the person playing the best at that moment...full stop.
That person could be Brett Wetterich. I was wrong about him, he's not going away.
Yesterday, after watching about 5 minutes of the telecast, I knew the scores weren't going any lower than minus 2, and they ain't today either.
I said Mike Weir still had a chance and I was right...I just didn't think it would be as good as it is.
If he shoots one under today he'll be in one of the last 5 groups. Phil Mickelson impressed me. He was on the cusp of shooting a million-one and he brought it back.
Tiger. He'll either have the low round of the day (68-69) or fade away...I just have this feeling.
He hasn't hit a fairway since the practice rounds and he's just missed too many putts.
All in all it's been pretty neat to watch the best players in the game look mortal. 3 putts, balls banging off trees and rolling into the water...fun golf just like the rest of us play!
You know without the lying, cheating and do-overs.
The Leafs lost last night and so did The Habs. How cool is this game Saturday night going to be?
I mentioned earlier in the week that I would even watch if it was To vs Mtl and I will.
It's a must-win game, winner makes the playoffs....sort of.
The Leafs make the playoffs as long as they beat Mtl in regulation and the Isles don't win both of their last 2 games. I think.
Whatever, it's as close to a meaningful games that's been played around here in sometime.
My MySpace page has grown quite a bit over the past few months. I've been marketing the book there and it's worked out quite well. My old Edge friend Danielle Holke has been helping me and she's done an awesome job. Check it out by clicking here.
I have many friends. Many of which are Delicious.
Finally it's time for my Easter Joke. I've been telling this for years and recently I ran it by my pal Tim to make sure it wouldn't offend. He's a very cool, pious person and he liked it.
Here goes.
Everyone knows Good Friday is the day that Jesus was crucified, Sunday is the day he rises but no one ever talks about Saturday. My theory is all the Disciples got together and had a garage sale and sold all JC's stuff. On Sunday when Jesus returns they're all embarrassed and looking down at their sandals and he's like ..."Hey where's my Ipod? Hey, where's my bike?? What part of I'm coming back didn't you guys get?"
Happy Happy Easter and end of Passover.(Yes my Hebrew Homies, only a couple more days of Matzoh and then all our "Plumbing" will start to work again!)
Yesterday Augusta National showed why it's one of the toughest no-wind golf courses on the planet.
The greens are the fastest, the fairways are hard to hold and if your out of position you'll shoot a million. This is what happened yesterday. The worlds best players averaged 76. If the wind picks up and the course drys out this weekend, the average score will be 80.
I love watching Majors when the golf course has some teeth. It separates the field. It also makes Par mean something and it's fun seeing Tour Pro's struggle just like the rest of us.
Yes, even Tiger.
Yesterday Eldrick kind of kicked it around. He shot 73 which was still 3 under the field average, but he left a few out on the course and he was pissed.
When he misses a putt he often covers his mouth so the camera doesn't see him saying the F word.
He did that a lot yesterday.
Mike Weir isn't out of it at 75 and Phil Mickel-boobs shot 76.
Fearless prediction:
The cut will be the highest in years at 151.
The lead after 36 holes will still be 3 under. It won't belong to first round leaders Justin Rose or Brett Wetterich.
Tiger will shoot one under and be even after 2 rounds. He'll be in contention.
The winning score will be 3 under.
This weekend I'll be bringing out all the lucky TW charms. The bobble-head (which I tap whenever I need Tiger to sink a putt-no I'm not kidding), the US Open Commemorative balls and on Sunday only, the Tiger Woods Wheaties.
Yes I'm 47.
No, I don't think it's pathetic. Okay, a little.
Happy Easter RR's. Hope you have a great weekend with friends and family and bunnies.
This is day 3 of our new Regular Reader of the Day and it's quite the hit.
Many of you have checked in and seem to enjoy the recognition.
Many of you will eventually be RRotD. Yes you will Jason Meltzer Patterson.
But today's REGULAR READER of the DAY is... James Edgar
He wrote: I look like Ewan Macgregor . That’s the picture you should use. I read your blog twice a day. Why I don’t know but I do. It’s super funny and it sucks when you don’t post. I also read FreddieP every day and Toronto Mike. It’s your fault I am becoming addicted to Blogs. The least you can do is make me RRD and post a picture (Well what I would look like if I was a millionaire actor who rides) of me on a motorcycle.
You've got to see this.
It's a YouTube video with the embedded code disabled. I guess the Dad didn't want his kids video blasted all over the web. He uploaded it to YouTube but whatever. It's very cute/funny and I promise you'll watch it more than once.
Okay, now that your back. Check this out. Tucker still has his Nuts!!
Yesterday I wrote this whole thing about our little dog having his noogies snipped and how once before he was pardoned at the last minute by kindly Vet Dr. Al.
Well it's happened again.
He's apparently so small that his liver function is still immature and they don't want to put him out for an operation until he gets a little bit older.
If you ever saw him Freak-Humping one of his slippers you'd know his doolie is functioning just fine.
The Slime that Men Do success from LifeFest continues. I wrote earlier that we sold a lot of books and met many nice peeps at the Trade show last weekend. Well that networking has already turned into 2 possible speaking dates for The Slime Guy(me).
I always envisioned there being a niche for me to speak about The Slime That Men Do in front of an audience of Women and now that may be finally coming through. I'll keep you postered.(Yes I meant to say "postered". It's a Randee-ism)
Speaking of Randee I've asked her to blog something about The Masters. Maybe a little expose about all the various quirks and rules I have surrounding watching it and her experiences in that area.
She probably won't so instead I present.
An Interview with Randee about the Masters....
I'm here with Randee and she's wearing her jammies. A cute pair of grey shorts and some tie-dye thing she's had since she was 15. (Which she made!)
Hi Randee.Ugh. Are you looking forward to The Masters? Truly, truly I am. (She is smiling at me.) What are some of the House Rules when I'm watching The Masters?
1)All references to The Masters must be made with my hand over my heart.
2)No one talks to you during The Masters.
3)Tiger must win.
Can I go now?
No. Where do you and the children go during the final round coverage?Why do you care? I do. Where do you go? Out. Now can I go do something important. This is important. Last question. Whaaaaaaaatttttttttttttt.
Will Tiger Woods win? Yes, for you honey. If he wins can I "get some?" Ask him! Your funny. Do you think Tiger will name his baby Howard?
You're a sick man. What's Swedish for psycho!
Wow. This has worked out nicely. Yesterday I had several pleasant comments from people who seemed to be delighted by the notion of the REGULAR READER of the DAY!
They all got it and many have already nominated themselves for future RRotD honors.
Yesterdays honoree Rob wrote, "Hello Howard,thanks for making me the "First" Regular Reader of The Day!I enjoy reading your Blog each morning as it starts the day off with a smile. Keep up the good work!...Rob"
My niece Zoe said she and her Dad (Brother Steve) are RR's.
Someone named Charlsey said, "Pick me, pick me - i'm a tried and true regular reader. My day would be incomplete without you Howard. I check in at least once a day or twice if I can.
While it is not as good as hearing you on the radio; your wit shines through the pages. I will continue to read on but look forward to the day I can hear you again as well.
I'll be watching Tiger and the masters so will be with you in spirit. Wanna come by if your buddy talks too much?
cheers and thanx for the continuing laughs.
charlsey
All of these people will make splendid RRotD but todays recipient is (drum roll please) Soccer Mom!
Soccer Mom's real name is Toni Estabrooks and she is a very sweet, funny and nice visitor to my site. (She's also the Mom of one my Team Teal kids, Goalie Nicole)
I appreciate her feedback and her regular visits and therefore Soccer Mom is today's
REGULAR READER of The DAY!!!!
(looks very much like Soccer Mom only with longer hair!!)
If you would like to nominate yourself or a loved one to be a REGULAR READER of The DAY!
send the info to REGULARREADER@Humblehoward.com.
Police raided Hells Angels clubhouse across the country yesterday including the largest one on Eastern Avenue.
I was there.
No, not because I'm a Hells Angel. I gave that up years ago.
No, not because I'm a member of The Press. I gave that up almost a year ago.
No, I was on my way to a studio for a voice-over audition and I witnessed the whole caffuffle.
It's not often you get a first-hand look at a real caffuffle but there it was and there I was.
The clubhouse wall had a huge hole in it where I guess the police rushed in. Why they didn't use the door, I don't know.
When I wandered by at around 10:15 the place was surrounded by TV reporters all dressed in
dark coats. I wonder where their clubhouse is?
A few of us citizens watched as several police were unscrewing some sort of devil-heads that were attached to a concrete facade.
This seemed to fascinate the TV reporters to no end, mainly cause there was nothing else going on.
At that point I had to go, Eastern Avenue was jammed. I guess others wanted to observe an actual caffuffle in progress.
As I left I had some strange lingering thoughts.
"Who's going to fix that big hole?"
"Do the people in the neighborhood feel more or less safe now?"
"Were those devil-head things a house warming gift?"
You know Tiger is my favorite. I won’t rehash why but he is and that’s that.
I’ve been watching this golf tournament for a long time and it’s by far the one I like the best.
The drama, the history, the course are all stellar. I’ve been lucky enough to walk the course and TV doesn’t do it justice.
This was the first golf I remember watching with my Dad and over the years it rarely disappoints me as a sporting event.
Jack in 86, Larry Mize chipping on Norman, Faldo winning in a playoff, Couples in 92 and that ball that hung there on the bank at 12, Normans agonizing collapse in 96, the worst choke-job most of us have ever seen, Mike Weir-Masters Champion in 2003…the coolest ever.
All of this was exciting and seemed to happen so often at Augusta.
Then there was Tiger.
In 1997 Tiger Woods had already won 3 PGA tournaments but there were still some vets on the Tour that were grumbling about This Rookie and all the attention he was getting.
“Let’s see how he does under the pressure of a Major” They said.
Well in 1997 we all saw. He blew the field away and won by 12.
The Masters and golf hasn’t been the same since.
Tiger Wood will win The Masters if…….
He plays half-ways decent.
He has the lead after Friday or Saturday.
He putts even average.
He hits the odd fairway.
He doesn’t eat anything that makes him sick.
He doesn’t get tired from excessive Elin-Humping.
And finally, Tiger Woods will win The Masters if….
Phil Mickelson doesn’t.
Phil’s the only other guy who has figured Augusta out and I’ve got to say he can win this tournament too.
In the Star today though I loved what he said about comparing himself to Tiger. Remember he's the closest competition Tiger has in the game. …..in his wildest dreams he would win 20 more tournaments, including seven more majors, "and that would give me 50 wins and 10 majors, which would be an awesome career, and I still wouldn't get to where he's at today. So I don't try to compare myself against him."
Our dog Tucker gets his cojones snipped today. He was scheduled to have it done late last year but at the last minute was given a reprieve.
Tucker as many of you know, spends most of his days humping like a mad-man.
He “dates” two slippers we call The Sisters.
Our Vet Dr. Al, says this will continue after the operation but not as much.
Good thing cause his vigorous Slipper-Boinking was getting a little intimidating.
The Leafs won last night. Personally I could give a rats-ass but I have many friends like Mike Boon and others who are Leaf Freaks, so I pull for the team on their behalf.
Having said, that a Leaf vs Mtl match-up for a playoff spot Saturday night would be awesome. I may even watch.
Speaking of Mike Boon he does nice little site and helped build this one. Check him out for some Real Leaf Fan Coverage.
I stole this YouTube thing from him. Pretty funny.
Speaking of Leafs. Tie Domi is an idiot. End of discussion. I read that whole “Screaming at your kids Coach” thing and wasn’t the least bit surprised.
The only thing to feel is sad for the kid.
The only thing that’s certain is this won’t be the last lunk-head thing we hear from TD.
Speaking of Tiger.(When aren’t I?) My Masters coverage begins today. (See Tiger will win if…..)
This year will be a bit different for me as I’m actually going on the road to watch some of the coverage.
Friday I’ll be out in Acton with my buddy Lumby who loves this event almost as much as I do. (I hope he doesn’t laugh at my TW bobble-head.)
Normally watching The Masters is a solitary activity for me as I don’t want to be distracted by anyone else’s remarks.
I’ve come prepared though. If he does start talking during any important parts I’ll just “Jungle Blow Dart” him into a stupor.
You think I’m kidding.
This past weekend I met a lot of people who had some very nice things to say about my days on the Radio.
"I miss you in the mornings!"
"I haven't laughed at the Radio since you left."
"Can you tell me where the facial peel booth is?"
The last person aside, it was interesting and gratifying to hear that there are still a few people who remember me as a Morning Man.
Of all the things I've done since the day I was fired though, writing about "Getting Fired" seems to have had a lot of impact.
Let me explain.
I am constantly running into people who have been downsized, gassed, punted, let-go, axed, laid-off or FIRED that read my National Post article and related to it.
This past weekend was no exception.
Coincidentally, this week I heard from an old Edge 102/CFNY friend of mine that was turfed from the biz about 4 months ago and just recently read my piece. I won't mention who it is, but I was flattered by his note thanking me for writing the article.
I was glad it resonated and made him feel he wasn't unique in his situation.
Strange how things work out. I wrote the story 7 days after I got The Call and I never imagined I'd still be hearing about it more than 7 months later.
I went back and re-read it yesterday. Parts of it made me laugh, other parts, not so much.(You'll figure them out!)
If you'd like to read it click here.
If you've never been fired you might find it slightly amusing and as a lot of us have found out, you never know when it could apply to you!
I have a number of people that drop by here every day. I don't know all of them but it's nice to know they're out there. In the spirit of Sucking Up, I think it's important to take a minute and acknowledge you people for your support.
So here is the first REGULAR READER of The DAY!
Yesterday I was talking to a pal of mine and he told me about this dude Rob Jobson.
Rob's family has a bus company and apparently he reads HH.com everyday.
Well done Rob Jobson.
I don't know what he looks like but I'm told he bears a striking resemblance to
George Cloony.
(Not Rob Jobson but might as well be!)
If you would like to nominate yourself or a loved one to be a REGULAR READER of The DAY!
send the info to REGULARREADER@Humblehoward.com.
A great way to recognize those who do so much for others and it makes a nifty gift.
Today is Passover day two. Last night we had some family over for a meal that my wife started cooking on Sunday.
It was amazing. Real tasty Jew-Food. Chicken soup, gefilte fish with horse-radish, tender chicken and fried matzoth with onions.
If you don't know what Passover is think about the movie The Ten Commandments. It's that part where the families get together and put a splash of Ram's Blood over their door so The Angel of Death will "Passover" their houses.
We don't do the ram's blood thing nowadays cause it's too hard to find the good stuff. We do though, still encourage the Angel of Death to haul ass away from our house. Yours too!
More about Passover here.
The response from Life Fest continues to be solid. I've gotten more follow up e-mails from this than from any of the other shows we did. Some very nice women-people like the book and are checking in with me. I think one e-mailer sort of invited me to get slimy with her if I wanted. Grrrrrllllllll.
Randee saw the e-mail and laughed. I guess she can't imagine it either.
This would be weird. The Leafs miss the playoff, The Raptors, who are in, win the NBA Championship on the 40th anniversary of the Leafs last Stanley Cup.
What if the Leafs did make the playoffs and they won the Stanley Cup and the Raptors win the NBA championship.
What if a giant green bird landed on my roof and laid a big Volkswagen-sized egg filled with toonies.
Finally this is The Masters week. Today they'll be just practicing, tomorrow is the par 3 contest (long story, but the legend has it that no winner of the par 3 contest has gone on to win the real tournament. oooohhh scary!)
Thursday the real thing begins.
That's also the day I stop answering my phone during the coverage.
Wednesday I'll have my predictions. "Gee I wonder if Howard's picking Tiger?"
I received an e-mail the other day from my old pal Phil Evans, promo wizard from the old Edge days.
He's verbally adept and intellectually agile and I always enjoyed our discussions.
He's responsible for many of the most clever Humble and Fred Really Tough Contest bits.
Here's Phil now.
Yesterday I sent him a note saying to give me a call sometime and a few minutes later, there he was.
We talked about the business and our place in it. (He's the one with the job still...)
We're both about the same age and have been at this for some time and like a lot of people of our ilk, we were wondering where it could all lead.
Phil is very bright and would be a great PD/GM I think. He could also transfer his skills to any business that needed a creative/funny guy that people like to be around.
It's nice to catch up with people who were actually there when you were doing some of your best work. If for no other reason than to confirm you weren't looking back and making half the crap up!
Phil's still creative and a good guy to chit chat with. Check out his junk here.
This Australian dude can flat out play the Digeridoo. And the drums. At the same time.
I love people that decide one day..."Hey, I'm not getting enough challenge in my life, I think I'll master something like blowing on a big horn and drumming at the same time."
I'm not a big Digeridoo fan but this guy can bring it.
Enjoy,
The Slime That Men Do-Finally, someone's buying it!!!!
I had this vision. It looked like this. (Cut to dreamy music and shimmering effect and fade out and up on.....)
I'm standing in a sea of Women who are smiling and laughing when they see the title The Slime That Men Do. Most of them "Get it!" Many of them buy it and life is good.
That was my vision in late December when I gathered my Slime marketing team (Wife Randee and publishing partner Jason) and said "We're going to sell the book at Bridal Shows!"
This was met with a combination of blank stares and mockery.
My argument was simple. Let's take the book to where there are lots of Women.
Seemed to make sense except at Bridal shows the Chicks aren't buying. They are there to look and get ideas and because they're newly engaged to the Man of their Dreams... THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT SLIMY GUYS!
I found this out the hard way.
3 different failed shows and a Ladies ski day later I was undeterred. (which is one of those fun words to say quickly cause it sound like your saying "I was under-a-turd!)
I kept thinking there has to be someplace where this will work.
This past weekend we did something called LifeFest at the Metro TO Convention Center and all of a sudden my Vision came true. (Cut back to dreamy music and shimmering effects)
The place was jammed with Women-nearly 30 thousand of them and all in some kind of freebie gathering/buying mood.
Very many of them wandered by our Slime That Men Do booth.
Very many of them laughed out loud at the Title.
Very many of them bought the book. Finally.
We sold more books this past weekend than we did at all the other shows combined.
More importantly we'll be able to give more money to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation.
For me it was great to finally see the book meet the audience it was intended for and for the two of them to get along so nicely.
I've already told you about the amazing success of Selling the Slime on the weekend. It truly was great on so many levels.
One neat aspect. Someone who met us and bought the book sent me an e-mail the next day.
Hi Howard :)
I have pink hair and you signed my book on Friday at Lifefest. I've now
gotten through most of the book and you did a wonderful job!
Was a pleasure meeting you,
Cheers,
Danie
Message: I noticed you were a bit of a you-tube junkie as well so here's a couple that are on my current favorite list :)
Bonus. Some nice feedback and YouTube content.
Here's one of Danie's Favs.
The Juno's were moved to 10 pm last night because The Amazing Race had some prime time special and so our "Grammies" got pushed back.
Bad move.
The CTV spin guy said some crap about "Well this will be a great lead-in, blah blah...." This would be true if the lead in were at 7, but 10 pm was too late, I think.
Maybe it's just that I start to get tired at 10, maybe I'm just getting old
"You kids turn that music down for crying out loud I can't hear myself think!!"
I'm only a couple of years away from saying that.
Maybe I already have and I just can't remember.
I could be wrong, the number's will be out later today. Whatever they are, they could have been better if it had started at 8pm.
Having said all that I read that the show was well done and Nelly Furtado did a great job as host and as winner of everything.
Apparently she won all the awards and no one cared because she's so freaking hot.
I had the chance to interview her a couple of years ago just after she'd had her baby and I remember her as sweet, funny and cute, but not SFH.(So freaking Hot!) (Sweet/Cute!) (SFH)
In fact the first time I saw the Promiscuous video I didn't realize it was her.
She deserves every success and congrats on being SFH.
Some final thoughts.
I started out coaching soccer because It was the only way that Charlie could get to play. Long story, but we forgot to sign her up for the Winter session and my coaching got her in.
The point is I ended up loving every minute of it and I will miss screeching out my bizarre nonsense every Thursday night.
I learned that all kids respond to direction if it's given with a dose of fun. I already knew this about my kids, but I saw a lot of improvement in some of the other kids that I know were having a good time.
I didn't learn any of the soccer rules. Seriously. Many times the whistle would blow and I'd have no idea why. Coach Patrick was there to fill me in and I promise if I ever coach again I'll figure some of these so called "rules" out.
I learned that all of the girls parents are very nice. No surprise. I did discover a few that were slightly loopy. Goalie Nicole's mom Toni, in particular is very funny/wacky and sweet.
She sent me this nice note.
Coach Coach
We want to thank you for the amazing job you did. We especially enjoyed
you "shrieking like a girl". I have to say we'll miss that the most.
The highlight of the season, had to have been last night looking into the
girls faces when almost took off your shirt?priceless lol
You know we are all going to go through shrieking withdrawal so if you
could just call us all every Thursday evening but not at 5:30p cause you
know that time was designed to make us nuts and should have been reserved
for soccer kids much younger then ours! One thing we do have to point out
is we were really sad we never did learn that Team Teal song ~ so if you
could sing it for us that would be awesome. All kidding aside you did a
great job and the girls had a blast and that is what really matters. ~
Good Job Coach
It was quite the odyssey from reluctance to something I had a blast doing. Of course I enjoyed blogging about all of it. Good/strange/real content is hard to come by.
Check out Soccer Coaching for the whole story from beginning to end.
I learned how to manipulate the images and text in my publishing platform MovableType. For instance if I wanted to have the text wrap around a picture, I would simply do this. I would write a bunch of drivel so that there would be enough writing to go around the picture and blah blah blah.
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(Looks just like Kelly only Kelly makes better cabbage rolls.)
(SFH)
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