Today I'll be checking out a new-ish golf course BraeBen the city of Mississauga built on a landfill a couple of years ago. I understand it's outstanding and I can't wait to try it.
Last week I played Osprey Valley and was completely blown away. By far the best course for the money that I've played in a long time.
This weekend. No soccer. None. This apparently is the only non-soccer week of the year as Charlie starts indoor Monday (I'm coaching) and Spencer starts next Saturday.
I think I'll be flying. I gave away a flight at Lumby's golf tournament and Saturday looks like the perfect time to take up the nice folks who bid at the silent auction.
Sunday I'll be checking out the President's Cup. Mike Weir has already justified Gary Player's Captain's pick by scratching out the only 1/2 point from yesterday's opening matches.
Sunday is the singles and for me the best part of either the Ryder or President's cup.
No, Weirsie won't be playing Tiger.
Couple quick hits from BFH.
A few new shows I saw this week. Chuck: Nerdy guy with smoking hot secret agent pal. Will watch it again, might last the whole season. Bionic Women: Hot chick gets robotic super parts. I loved the original cause I was 17 when it first aired. Still very immature, will watch again, probably won't last the year. Journey Man: Dude keeps going back and forth in time for no apparent reason. Kinda cool, will watch again only to figure out what's going on. The Office: Loved the English original. Like Steve Carrell and am slowly getting into this version.
Will watch again, this thing will be on forever.
I posted something about Jerry Seinfeld earlier and it got me thinking about his stand-up.
I always loved his act and was aware of him when I lived in LA, long before he became the guy from the TV show.
So I found this cool bit. Jerry's first time on the Tonight show with Johnny Carson. Watch how Johnny gives him the A-OK sign at the end.
Now fast forward to Jerry on the show talking about the premier of "The Seinfeld Chronicles!"
(The original name for the program.)
Then I start thinking about Letterman's first time on the show. Letterman loved and idolized Carson and I thought it must have been the coolest thing for him to finally make it to the show.
After that I found Lettermans' first night hosting his first show.
Finally Carson shows up on the CBS show after he had retired to thrill Dave.
So this should answer the question: How do you spend your days?
Seinfeld was in town yesterday promoting Bee Movie. It looks like a cool flick for young and old alike. (Yes I said young and old. Sorry, I'm in a hurry.)
Anyway our local reporters peppered him with lame bee puns but he took them in stride.
"Yes, we're here to create a Buzz!" Ect. Ad nauseum
Anyway it looks like some good laughs and classic Jerry-style humour.
Check out this trailer featuring Steven Spielberg.
Jerry Extra.
Here's a piece with Jerry from Access Hollywood.
This past year Charlie took a leap from house league soccer to Select and it's been cool to watch.
She is a very fast, athletic, kid who is very coach-able. Well she made this team, got great coaching and improved immensely.
She's a good egg who never fails to make me proud.
Here is story that ran in this weeks Oakville Beaver.
Yes our paper is called "The Beaver," we're way a head of you so just grow up.
(Okay, just one.) Hey you guys in Oakville are so lucky, you get a new Beaver delivered to your door every week! Wow, no wonder it's so expensive to live there.
Happy? Now let's continue with the story from the paper.
The Oakville Chargers under-13 girls' select soccer team went a perfect 3-for-3 in tournament play this season.
Oakville's most recent tournament championship came earlier this month in North Mississauga, competing in a division that also allowed under-14 squads to participate.
The Chargers edged an U14 North Mississauga squad 1-0 in the final, netting the winner in the second half. Cara Hueston paced Oakville with four of the team's ten goals at the tournament, including a golden goal in the Chargers' 1-0 semifinal win over Georgetown's U13 entry.
Oakville went undefeated in the preliminary round, as it did in the two other tournaments it played in. The Chargers won the Oakville Regional Select/All-Star Tournament in August, clinching gold with a 5-2 rout of the Mississauga Falcons in the final, and were also champions at a June tournament in Erin Mills.
Brooke Hicks scored four of the team's 11 goals in Erin Mills. Gaby Guitor had six goals in the Oakville tournament, including three in the final.
Other members of the team are Sarah Eckert, Maeve Garvey, Deanna Spagnuolo, Kate Wickham, Daniela Deschamps, Bronwyn Schweitzer, Alex Schiffner, Isabella Nunez, Sharalynn Missiuna, Natalie LaMarche, Jamison Soeder, Charlie Glassman, Emma Koziey-Kronas, and Laura Whaley.
Assisting the team in several games were Tori Odetunde, Nicole Roblin and Samantha Pereira.
The team is coached jointly by Ed Leyer, Rob Bonadeo and Ralf Soeder.
All right kids let's play nice. By far the most thoughtful and passionate comments Hhdotcom has ever received on a posting. Thank you all.
The debate here shows just how important the issue is in this election. Tim's e-mail posted yesterday spurred quite the response from a diverse group and I urge you to go back and read them all.
A group called The Coalition for Educational Fairness checked in. Interesting bunch with a perspective that is summed up nicely by this.
My pal Soccer Mom had some nice points. (Has some nice "points" too, if memory serves me!) "...I directed my taxes 50/50 and so can anyone, and even though my son has graduated from the school system my taxes still remain as such. It just sad that more of us don’t know you can do this and we need to be informed that this is an option. What they are presenting is an all or nothing at all and that doesn’t have to be the case. If this option was broadcasted to the masses there would not be the need for such an up-roar."
Fred had this to say.(Not that Fred.) "More than a few people have said they will not vote for McG because he is a liar and does not keep promises and in the next breath say they do not believe Tory will come through with the funding for FBS. Is there not something wrong with this picture? (and before anyone says that nobody would say that...read the first post).
What about those of us that do not belong to any faith but choose to not send our children to the public system? Will Atheists be afforded funding for their private schools too?
How about this as a proposal...rather than create dozens of small school boards for each faith that is able to get funding, why not offer classes on different faiths in the public system? Give everyone the opportunity to learn about different beliefs and NOT segregate people based on religion. I suspect the world would be a better place if we all understood each other a little bit better.
And lastly, what ever happened to the separation of church and state? Since when did it become the government’s responsibility to teach children about their faith? Is that not what parents are for?
In my mind, this was a brilliant move by Tory. He keeps the media focused on a single issue and never has to defend the rest of his platform and McG looks weak because he does not support the proposal but cannot commit political suicide and declare he wants the catholic system abolished.
I appreciate you all being part of this. As many or you know I enjoy others helping with the Hhdotcom content and this is also an issue I (and many of you) feel strongly about.
I must tell you I've had a conversation with my local NDP guy and he agreed with me about the fairness issue but the party line is a whole different story.
No politician wants to be the first to say let's level the playing field. At least John Tory isn't pretending that it is.
Micker07 sent me this note and they're right. Humble,
Not sure if you saw this at the time....
I like to think the glass is half full and that everyone brings something to the table. I would bet money that you will watch this video more than once, and the music is not my style either. A good lesson in never judging a book by it's cover. Just an amazing story. Enjoy.
It's some phone salesman dude from Britain's Got Talent.
Great story and cool to see Simon Cowell doing the same Idol gig but on another show.
The contestant's name is Paul Potts', great voice-bad teeth. Remember it's Britain's Got Talent, not a dental plan.
Paul eventually won the whole thing.
One of my friends teaches in the public school system. He has an interesting take on the subject.
Have a read, I think you'll agree.
Thanks Tim.
Humble,
I am a man of faith and I teach in the public system...you know that.
I admit that for me there is probably a lot more at stake here than just creating 'alternatives' for people's education. With money as tight as it is already in the public system...how on earth are we going to pay for so much more? I am concerned about my job. Student numbers will drop. Jobs will be lost. Can I get employment at a Muslim (as a Christian/Jew/Hundu/Sikh/etc) school when there is nothing left in the public system?...It's not an question of it simply being the same amount of kids, nothing changes. There will be significant changes.
Yes there is a question of fairness. Absolutely. But the problem is not adding more 'separate' schools, but making it a one part public education system. Nothing against the Catholic system. But for it to be truly fair...make it all the same. Not a bunch of 'different'.
The dividing of the system will only 'ghetto-ise' everything. Jews here. Muslims here. Buddhists here. Etc.
Although Dalton McSquinty does make your bile rise, I think what he is saying is fundamentally sound. I teach in the public system and we do "work/live together".
Its hard enough to try and gain understanding when you are together "24/7" (see earlier Blog about pooing in the downstairs toilet). But you if you work at it and have the opportunity to do so...you do.
At my school, and others in the Peel system, we celebrate diversity as much as possible (Ramadan, Diwali, Hanukkah, etc...they are all honoured)...separate us and I think it will cause more damage.
By the way, since when is it a school's job to teach faith? Ultimately, I believe that faith is a church/synagogue/temple/mosque/etc's job. Separation of church and state makes sense here.
A school is NOT a faith based school because it has a religion's or a person-of-faith's name on the outside wall. It is all about what's being done on the inside.The "Golden Rule" happens across all faiths in some form or another...so if I am respecting and caring for my staff and student's well being and 'doing unto them...' am I not being my own micro-cosmic faith-based-school?
Yeah,yeah Chicks Rule. Guys have known this since we popped our first boner. It's true.
Men are a simple lot and have only a few basic needs. One of them involves our pee pees, so whatever facilitates anything to do with that rules us.
Even guys that say they don't get pushed around by any women are lying.
Happy wife, happy life. I didn't invent that, it's true.
My happiness-formula is easy. Food, booze, golf, flying, watching golf, talking about flying.
I'm not stating anything new but I was reminded this morning that my wife operates under a whole different set of life-criteria than I do. Forget the organic food, coupons, the clothes, the creams, the complex friendships, the mother-in-law, the need to clean up, the time it takes to get ready, always being late and the thrashing of every vehicle she's ever owned...today I found out I'm not supposed to go poo in our downstairs bathroom.
Squeeze me? Did you guys know that?
She told me that I should go up stairs so I don't stink up the whole house. Further more, she says, there isn't a wife out there that would let their husbands go doody in the powder room.
Really? How come I'm just finding this out now? Also why do we call it a "Powder room?"
Yes chicks rule and chicks have rules and the exciting thing is the rules are always changing.
Yesterday I deviated from my formula or wry observation gusting to non-stop hilarity and jokey-jokes and put up a comment about this whole "Faith-based school funding."
My Pal Lou Schizas checked in with his take. Hi Howard - as I mentioned when we discussed the funding of faith based schools today. Parents do not send their children to Catholic Schools for the 1/2 hour a day of faith training they get - its because they believe that its a higher quality education. My take on the situation is the same as all public sector programs-- they fail to work because the public system can only exist without competition - if every family was given an education voucher - and could freely choose which school they could send their children to I doubt it would be a public school. And with the Mc Ads when I see them I ask where do his kids go to school? Happy Captalism!
To me it is the only issue of note in this Fall election and it permeates all aspects of the political discourse.
From the obvious: Bill Murdoch the PC incumbent in Bruce-Grey-Owen Sound says he didn't realize how divisive the issue would be when it was first introduced by our leader....and should this come before the legislature I will vote against it!
Okay Bill thanks for weighing in with that, it's nice to hear a politician saying what he really thinks, even if I don't agree with it.
The not so obvious comes from Dalton McG of course, who went to Catholic school mind you and is pushing the "We're all in this Together" crap every chance he gets.
When asked, How many countries have you visited? He replies, blah blah trade mission to China, blah blah to fully appreciate how blessed we are in Ontario to be home to people from every corner of the globe, who (here it comes) live Together here and work and build Together, blah blah.
Give me a break. Yeah we all work, live and build together, except those in the separate school system.
John Tory is starting to get the vibe that this isn't the most popular issue he could have raised but I like the fact that he had the balls to do it.
He says no matter what opposition he gets he'll go forward with his plan because it's a "matter of principle."
What more can you ask of someone in charge. Tell us what you're going to do then when your elected do it.
Okay, that's it for today now back to the jokey-jokes and YouTube videos.
Through a series of mysterious back-room dealings reminiscent of the Holllinger fiasco that Conrad Black engineered, I'm going to coach soccer again.
I can't explain exactly how this happened, but it involves my pal Marc G and the need to drink beer on Monday nights.
Anyway its indoors and it's more like hockey with a soccer ball. 5 players and a goalie and it involves lots of scoring. After the games beer may be consumed.
To introduce myself and co-coach Marc I sent the following letter to my team. So far no response.
Hello Team Gold.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm Coach Howard. Along with Coach Marc we will be guiding Team Gold this indoor soccer season.
We are two Coaches who expect the most from our players when it comes to playing soccer and having fun. Mostly having fun.
Winning isn't everything to us, the end of the year coaches gift is.
Our experience is limited but our enthusiasm is boundless. Mostly we like to get out of the house on Monday nights and
this worked out perfectly.
We expect the following.
1) Show up on time for games.
2) Call us Coach Howard or Coach Marc. We will both answer to either. You can also call me Super Coach or Mr Howard.
3) Win every game by at least 3 goals.
4) Never question anything we do even if we pull the goalie.
5) On the bench:No talking, no singing, no spitting and no cursing. No eating either unless you've brought enough for everyone.
6) When the game is over we will sing our Team Gold fight song and shake hands. Dancing is optional.
That is all.
Our first game is (Edited to prevent creepiness!)...if you could show up 15 minutes early to receive your sweaters that would be great. Those who are late will miss my emotional, pre-game speech. Trust me it will be inspirational. There may be crying.
Looking forward to a great Fall indoor-soccer season,
All the best,
Super Coach Mr. Howard.
Lots of people think Seinfeld is the funniest sitcom of all time and they're right. But Curb Your Enthusiasm maybe the funniest show of all time.
For those who don't know, Larry David is the guy who co-created Seinfeld with Jerry. George is based on him.
Curb Your Enthusiasm is like Seinfeld if it was about George only with swearing and way more uncomfortable situations.
If you haven't seen it get some seasons on dvd. The new episodes are airing now on TMN Sunday nights.
Here's a little taste entitled The Huge Vagina!
This is Larry buying weed.
Finally this is a classic. Larry and his manager Jeff are opening a restaurant and the head chef has Turrettes.
Not so safe for work. It's called Opening Night.
This will be as close to seriously political as I get.
John Tory wants to fund all faith-based schools and that is getting some people all bent out of shape.
Dalton McGinty has jumped on this by saying we should all go to school "Together!"
His commercials make me nauseous. When I see them I can actually feel the sick get caught in my throat.
In a way, I agree with both. Here's why. (With apologies to all my Catholic peeps.)
If you fund a separate school system for Catholics then you should fund one for all faith-based schools. (Tory's point.)
But if you want us all to learn "Together," ( Help me gag-reflex) then get rid of the only ONE you are funding .
That's never going to happen.
(Interesting the Liberals want us all to "learn together", "be together" and "understand each other." Just not the Separate School System!)
So if you're not going to cease funding the Catholic schools then you should fund all the other faith-based ones. Why should you get to direct your property taxes into a certain system because you believe in a certain religious point of veiw?
Seems simple but of course it's not.
My wife doesn't agree with me and maybe you won't either. I will say I've always found a separate school board unfair long before this election. It just seems strange that in 2007 any religion would have an advantage over any others and that's what this is.
An unfair advantage.
Everybody hates mimes. That's a given. In our cynical society there is no more room for guys in white face walking against the wind.
But Marcel Marceau was like a super-mime. Fighting the crime of cynicism and bring mime-joy across the world.
He was the best and now he's gone.
I remember as a kid being impressed that he seemed to be stuck in a box, climbing a rope or holding a bird all without saying anything.
He had the only line in Mel Brooks Silent Movie and that was cool too.
Today a tribute to Marcel with a little updated miming.
In an effort to do less and provide more drivel, I have enlisted the help of RR's(Regular Readers) and friends to "fill in the blanks" left by my apathy.
I'm happy to say that Dan Duran has risen to the challenge.
Yesterday when I published an exclusive interview with Dan many of you weighed in with comment.
Thank you. Comments are always welcome here at Hhdotcom. Mainly for the ability to recycle comments into content.
Watch.
I do the interview with Dan.
He comments with some smart-alecky remarks.
OK I would like to clear some things up
I now believe that 9-11 was perpetrated by Osama bin Laden's kidney dialysis machine which directed the media, and therefore public opinion, with it's Bluetooth features.
ShotGlass Larry has often supplied urine samples for law enforcement cover-ups and framing olympic athletes and should not be given the time of day (just a cliche as I'm sure he no longer has anyconcept of time)
I have never hammered my head. However the nail on my left finger is just returning to it's proper length after my electric driver fell off of a slot screw. Arrgg. The Robertson screw is king.
My last comment is for Howard. I really think that you have room for at least 2 more photos of me in this posting. Please try as I'm sure your blog traffic will spike to your liking.
Dan Duran
Presto! I've got another entry and we all get to enjoy new and diverse Hhdotcom hilarity.
See, everybody wins, including Dan Duran who would like to see more of his head.
I got a nice note from Michelle who is a public servant.
When she's not serving the public she has a little extra time and she decided to help Hhdotcom out.
Thanks Michelle for this enjoyable diversion from the cold, bleak, darkness that is my world.
Did I say that out loud?
I meant the Happy Fun-land petunia patch that is my life.
Chris Crocker. Everybody's talking bout this "Dude!"
Chris Crocker is an internet celebrity. Why? I don't really know but he is. Millions watch his stuff on YouTube and in the last week it's gotten way out of hand because of this.
Leave Britney Spears Alone!
Now the aftermath.
First the very funny Seth Green parody.
Now look at the phenomena roll on the Jimmy Kimmel show. Amazing press for a personality most of you haven't heard of.
Welcome to the New World Order of Celebrity.
As always content supplied by you means less for me to do.
Yah stuff you send in.
Today we'll feature two items from little Tommy Roberts of DHL. Tom is a big VP or something mostly in charge of finding funny crap on the internet and sending it to me.
Thanks Tommy.
To begin a little vignette.
Ha Ha Tommy. Good one.
Now this funny picture. If this doesn't touch your cold, black, heart, nothing will.
Today our dog Tucker is finally have his nuts clipped off. After 2 other failed attempts due to some elevated liver enzymes he will be sans-testes.
Will he be the same dog?
Will he be more/less active?(If it's actually possible to be "less active" than he is now!)
Will he still have the urge to hump his slippers?
All will be revealed when he comes home Thursday with his sack snipped and sporting one of those pathetic dog cones.
Charlie's soccer season finally ended last night with a 1-0 loss. She was devastated. She's cool now, but I know she was upset for a number of reasons.
1) Losing sucks.
2) The season is over.
3) She loved being part of that team.
I will say this, she has improved immensely over the last year. She's a gamer and she is very coach-able. Big ups to Rob, Ed and Ralf, the Dad's who made a big difference in her improved abilities over the last 10 months.
Not to mention Coach Me who guided her through the indoor season by shrieking, "Score now. Kick ball. Score now, ahhhhhhhh!"
Yes it's sad soccer is over.
Not to be confused with the soccer that's starts indoors again in about 3 weeks time.
Finally, ran into Steve Smith(RedGreen) at Lumby's golf tournament yesterday. What a mench.(Yiddish word for "good man.) I asked him if he missed doing the show and he gave me an emphatic "NO!"
He spends 6 months in Florida playing golf and singing with a trio that includes his wife and another guy and he's loving it.
The three of them gig around the state and he plays golf almost every day of the week.
Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
Yesterday Dan Duran and myself played in the Jeff Lumby Celebrity Golf Classic raising money for a childrens school lunch thing.
Dan, Jeff and I have known each other for nearly 30 years and it was a good time for a great cause.
My favorite moment was when one of the guys in my foursome asked, " Do you know who our celebrity is?"
Another guy later asked me what I did at DaveFM and had I spent any time in the Military.
Anywho.
Dan stayed over last night and I decided it would be a good idea, not to mention some much needed content, to interview real celebrity, Dan Duran.
Hhdotcom: Good Morning Dan.
DanDuran: Good Morning Howard
Hhdotcom: Who do you believe was really behind 911?
DanDuran: I am working on that but have yet to nail it down.
Hhdotcom: Who are you nailing down these days?
DanDuran: Well my wife of course and I built a really nice shelf on the weekend out of old water-
bed boards.
Hhdotcom: Really?
DanDuran: Yeah.
Hhdotcom: You recently had an opportunity to interview former President Jimmy Carter, how did
he smell?
DanDuran: I didn't actually smell the man.
Hhdotcom: Did he stink? Did he smell like a peanut?
DanDuran: No discernible odors came from the man.
Hhdotcom: You slept in our spare bed last night, did you pleasure yourself?
DanDuran: (Long pause.) NO. Thanks for asking.
Hhdotcom: Are you pleasuring yourself now?
DanDuran: No. Except the coffee's good.
Hhdotcom: Dan last question. Who do you believe was behind 911?
DanDuran: Jimmy Carter, now leave me alone.
I mentioned yesterday I'm playing in Jeff Lumby's charity golf thing west of Cambridge today so I'll just throw out a few things.
I'm looking for roof-quotes this week cause all the houses in my neighborhood have reached the re-shingling age and my shack is no different. Anybody know a great outfit? I'm getting three quotes already but if you have an uncle or a buddy that does this kind of thing, let me know.
I power-washed and cleaned my garage this past weekend. Dam I love power-washing.
I cleared out the whole thing and then I spent way too long cleaning the garage floor.
I have mentioned before how much I love to power-wash. It's very satisfying, it makes you think you've actually accomplished something when in reality all you've done is blasted off a layer of grime.
Years ago I gave away a power-washer I had gotten for free and now for the life of me I can't remember why.
I have tasted the joy of power-washing and it is sweet.
I mentioned yesterday about working on a TV thing. I have a couple of deals in play, neither involve me on camera (well, maybe) but both are pretty cool and I hope to be able to tell you about them sooner than later.
One is already in the pitch stage and is being shopped around and the other is just getting started.
I am pretty excited about both of these possible productions not only for the opportunity but also for the chance to work with some pretty creative people.
Not to mention giving me something to do besides my current schedule. Current Schedule.
Wake up.
Drive my kids to bus.
Read the paper.
Write drivel for blog.
Hit golf balls.
Drive my kids to soccer!
Drink red wine.
Pass out in my own sick.
Repeat.
Some great time wasters. Yes you waste time, not just me.
My pal Pierre M sent me this during a slow minute at work.
Ask the Mighty Thor at Askthor.com.
Very funny and juvenille and immature. I'm for all that.
It's a site where, as far as I can tell, other immature as The Mighty Thor questions and he answers them.
For instance: "Dear Thor,
Loki stole my glass eye again- can you find him and beat some sense into him for once?
Odin
Dear Faux-F**k,
You sound like the type of candy ass that goes to a rock concert and complains about the smell of weed. Piss off!"
I love this type of crap and you will too. Check it out here, and then come back.
I read about this internet show yesterday and I watched a few episodes. Funny.
It's called The Michael Showalter Showaler! Very strange.
Sort of like if Charlie Rose did his show high.
I watched several episodes and I know you'll dig it.
Have a look at this one where Michael interviews Andy Sandberg from SNL but is certain he was supposed to interview Adam Sandler.
Baby Fat Head makes me laugh. He's happy, he's a baby and he's got a Fat Head.
Hi BFH.
Hi Howie.
Anyway. Last week I was searching for the Oprah interview with Letterman and this weekend the whole thing was finally up on the YouTube. It's an awesome exchange and a rare glimpse inside the very private life of Letterman. It's in three parts...go here to get started. Then of course come back for more Baby Fat Head.
Yesterday I played a Parents vs The Kids soccer game. Damm them 13 years olds are good.
Today I am sore. My back, my things and my knees. And I just played goal!
At one point one of the girls yelled, "Shoot along the ground, I don't think he can bend over!"
She was right.
Tomorrow I'm playing my last charity golf scramble of the year. My good pal Jeff Lumby of Dave Fm Kitchener is having a fund-raiser and has asked me to be one of the celebrities. I think he's just being kind, but I'm happy to hang out. Dan Duran and Steve Smith will also be attending so there will be some real famous people for the golfers to meet.
Coming soon from Baby Fat Head.
Humble does some more more stand-up, appears in a movie and signs a big TV deal. I'm not crapping you.
Details to follow.
Thats what the other PGA Tour players are calling Tiger.
Their right.
The Fed EX Cup thing is over and Tiger is the first winner.
Along the way to the 10 million bonus he's had another pretty good little season.
16 tournaments-7 wins, one Major.
In fact in the last two years he's played 31 times and won 15-three majors.
The last few weeks though have been freakish.
Win, win, second, win, win.
This past weekend was almost not fair.
63,64,63,66. 8 shot victory and 23 under par. `
But now his reign of terror is over. He'll take a week off, play the Presidents Cup in Montreal and then no more Tiger this year.
I guess after winning more than 20 million he can take it easy for a while.
Trust me, no one's happier than the rest of the players on the PGA Tour.
For some years now, every so often I get "obsessed" (my wife's description) with the conspiracies surrounding 911.
The Towers falling so uniformly.
The hole in the Pentagon.(Too small, no airplane parts to be found.)
The Shanksville Pennsylvania sham. (Small crater, no airplane parts anywhere.)
Yes it's fascinating and puzzling and now and again I get sucked into it.
Years ago I started with this site, Letsroll911.org.
Be careful cause once you start it's hard not to be at least a bit skeptical about the events as we know them.
Saturday night I was listening to The Spaceman on AM640 and he mentioned some new theory about 911 that involved faking the plane attacks!
Squeeze me?
Well I googled that little bit of new info on Sunday and I was sucked back again. I spent an hour or so watching something called September Clues and it was very compelling.
I also checked out something called 911Octopus and 911Flatline. Both very spooky and also strange and compelling. Again I warn you that once you start this crap it's hard not to stop. Like conspiracy crack.
I must say I don't know what to believe. I know that whenever I watch this stuff it sure brings up a lot of new questions.
You never know do you.
I mean at one time it was accepted fact that JFK was killed by a lone gunman.
Now of course we know he was killed by aliens they are hiding in Roswell or Osama Bin Laden.
Vinay Menon did and he sums them up in another hilarious column that I wish I was writing.
Check out the joke-u-larity here and then come back for more Hhdotcom drivel.
The Highlights for me? Supporting actor Comedy series: Jeremy Piven from Entourage. Simply the best guy on TV. Drama Series: The Sopranos. Naturally.
Comedy Series: 30 Rock. Tina Fey, used to be the weekend update chick from SNL (and that shows first female head writer) and I love her. I started watching this show at the end of last season and I've since caught up in re-runs. Very funny and weird and non-network like. If you know what I mean. Give it a shot. I believe Jerry Sienfeld guest-stars on the season premier in early October.
Tonight Prison Break is back. I like this show although the premise is getting a bit strange.
Season One-break out of Prison.
Season Two-run around, try not to get captured, finally get caught.
This Season? Uh, back in prison trying to break out again. I guess.
Arrested again. This time for some cock-a-mamie story about retrieving some stolen memorabilia.
What an ass?
He gets away with killing his wife and the young Goldman kid and he just won't F-away.
Here's the link to the whole ridiculous story from Macleans.
All this on the heels of the release of the book "If if did it!"
If? Are you kidding us OJ.
This dick continues to walk around and that just proves how bizarre the legal system can be.
Hopefully this time he'll go to prison...but I doubt it.
Here's a clip of Ron Goldmans Dad talking about the release of the book.
Golfing.
I'm going golfing with my pal Fraser and some other cool real estate dudes. We will golf and then do some man-drinking. The guys can do both pretty nicely.
We're on our way up to Hunstville to play Granview and then Barrie National tomorrow.
I love the Barrie course but Granview is a little goofy. Mark O'Meara designed it and it's beautiful, but it's got a couple of blind holes which make no sense.
It's basically a resort course being played by people for the first time who will have mostly no idea where to hit it.
Still there is the man-drinking.
Have a great couple of days and I'll try and upload some drivel when I come back.
Go Tiger for the Fed Ex cup.
Boo Fat Phil.
Yah Chargers.(Girls soccer team)
When I was on the air I had to keep track of or fake interest in a lot of stuff I really didn't care about.
For instance, The TIFF. I used to have to talk about it like I gave a crap. I didn't and now I don't.
The only Film Fest chatter around our house has come from Randee who staked out the Four Seasons one night last weekend with her friends looking for stars. I'd rather be tortured.
I also didn't have to pretend to be excited about Canadian Idol or the CI winner. I do miss goofing around with Jake Gold though.
I read that the producers are taking the final 3 on the road. Very good idea that will no doubt sell out. Very smart those people!
Best of all I don't have to pretend to give two craps about the Leafs training camp, the Bells kids suspension or the new-look uniforms. Actually I am looking forward to mocking them for another year, that's always fun.
Go Ottawa!
I miss a lot of things about not broadcasting somewhere to someone every day but having to introduce Bon Jovi songs and talk about a lot of things I don't care about isn't one of them.
I do miss the free stuff. And my groupies. And the endless roof-top Meth-parties.
All right, I know I've been sort of obsessed with this cause I love Letterman and you rarely get to see him interviewed.
It's a 3 minute highlight of his appearance on Oprah. Dig it.
This isn't all of it but it's a start.
I am back in the house now but I have to start cleaning up for Rosh Banana. Have a great night and I'll see you back here Thursday for the full-tilt drivel-fest.
Still searching for Dave's appearance on the Oprah show and came up empty. I did come across this top ten featuring Bob Barker. He retired you know.
Enjoy.
I have to bolt early today and I'll be gone till early afternoon. Expect drivel delivery then.
Tonight is Rosh Hashanah. Yes you knew.
Anyway have another look at Rosh Hashanah Girl again to get you in the mood.
I tried to find Letterman's Monday appearance on Oprah yesterday with no luck. Maybe it's not posted yet.
If any of you Hhdotcom peeps have it can you shoot it over to me.
In fact if you have anything of interest I'd be happy to put it up on the site. Remember our motto, "When you contribute, there's less for me to do!"
See you later friends-of-drivel.
Hey kids, it's baby Fat Head again and here are some random issues from the mind of an immature man.
Thanks to you nice people that commented last time BFH appeared. I was talking about how my oldest daughter is officially embarrassed by almost everything I do.
Andrea said, "One day soon all incoming phone calls will be routed to the correct party by her, and even if the call may be for you ( chances are rare it will be ) your loving child then ask the caller if they plan to be on the phone with you for long."
Funny and very true. Last night Charlie spoked to her BFF for nearly 45 minutes all the while walking around the house, chatting on MSN, having a snack and cleaning her room. Of course at no time were we allowed to ask for or to talk on the phone.
Charlie's soccer team is having a parent-child game this Sunday and I'm worried that Baby Fat Head may have a coronary. I'm not in the best of shapes (I'm actually sort of oblong these days) and I am certainly not fit to run around with a group of highly-trained 12/13 year-olds girls.
Mostly I'm worried that I may have an episode and everyone will think I'm kidding.
I'll start clutching my chest and writhing around on the ground and the other parents will be all,"Oh that Howard, what a joker. Look he's pretending to have a heart attack. He's funny!"
Meanwhile, I turn purple and die.
Attention soccer parents or anyone else. If I look like I'm about to pass out IM NOT KIDDING! Call someone immediately.
Would you buy seafood from a guy in a pick-up truck? We have this dude who sits out by the side of the road near my house with a sign saying "Fresh Seafood." Uh, no thanks.
I mean I'm sure his shrimp and lobster are fine but it just seems weird. Corn, yes, berries, okay, fish not so much.
"Hmmm this scampi is fantastic where did you get it?"
"From some dirty guy in a truck at 9th line and Upper Middle road."
"Yes, I can taste that."
Today is Tuesday September 11. The last time it was Tuesday on this date was the day that 9/11 was born.
How sad/angry/horrified we were and how jaded/cynical and tired of the whole thing some of us are now.
We will never forget that terrifying day or the people who's lives were lost but now their memory is being scarred by a ridiculous war and many more Canadian/American lives that have been lost.
One question.
If Osama Bin Laden led Al Qauida and was reportedly being helped by sympathizers in Afghanistan, than why did the US go to war with Iraq?
No there is no simple answer but as time goes by there will be more and more questions.
I'm no conspiracy theorist (okay a bit-go here if you want to have you mind blown!)
but there will always be something fishy about the way things happened the last time it was a Tuesday on 9/11.
Britney doing some bizarre performance at the MTV Awards.
This is what all the kids are talking about.
This morning my pal Venay Menon tries to make sense of the whole weird Britney Out-of Control thing. After the doomed marriage to über-mooch Kevin Federline, after the wee-hour boozing miles away from her wee ones, after the impulse baldness, after the abysmal "reality show," after the incoherent interviews, after the divorce, the vomiting, the rehab, the fender-bendering, the dust-ups, the breakdowns, the feuds and the apocalypse-is-nigh tabloid folly from recent years, surely the pop princess was poised to sprinkle some pixie dust atop her own crooked halo and ascend the comeback heavens.
I don't know, can you make fun of someone so obviously out of control?
I suppose but this is a girl who would be working at Blimpys if she couldn't sing a bit. It's almost unfair to pile on her (you know what I mean) and a bit sad as well.
60 PGA Tour wins. That ridiculous. Throw in about 15 plus on the European Tour and around the world and it adds up to a pretty nice little career Eldrick's got going for himself.
He wins yesterday, is atop the Fed Ex Cup standings and is poised to keep on winning.
Why?
Cause he's playing very well.
He wins when he's just scraping it around but when he plays this well he dominates.
Like Johnny Miller said yesterday, when Tiger hits fairways its just not fair.
For more fawning and sucking up, read this.
Cool for Tiger that his good bud Roger Federer is ripping it up on the Tennis court. He won his 12th Grand Slam event yesterday. He's pretty good too. I wonder how those conversations go.
Roger: Hey Tiger, your awesome!
Tiger: No Roger, your awesome and talented and rich.
Roger: Ha ha Tiger, if I had your money I'd burn mine.
And so on until everyone has a big hundred dollar bill sandwich!
Tom Roberts like to load up on the funny content and send it my way.
Thanks Tom, less for me to do.
He sent me this CSI British style thing and it is very humorous.
Enjoy.
Not to be outdone, Genius Soccer coach, Ed Leyer, (at least that's what he makes me call him!) sent me this.
Also very funny. Also less for me to do.
Thanks Ed and Tom.
New York is my favorite city. I don't think I could live there but I love hanging out for a few days at a time.
I stayed on 34th and 7ave, across from Madison Square Gardens and as usual in NYC, the whole world walks by constantly.
I sat in a coffee shop before one of my meetings and just gawked at people. Strange people, super hot women-people, smelly people, crazy people and every other kind of people there is. Some highlights:
Being yelled at by a cab driver cause I wasn't getting the whole "Cab strike" thing.
Being in New York during a Cab Strike.
Seeing Ground Zero. Looks different this time, the subways are up and running underneath and there is an re-building vibe to the place. Still eerie though.
Hanging out with my cousins at an out of the way neighborhood Italian joint I never would have known about.
Visiting the Museum of Television and Radio and watching a film of classic TV stand-up. Very cool featuring everyone from Jack Benny to Jerry Seinfeld.
Being #30 in line for take off at La Guardia. Okay that wasn't a highlight just a very New York thing.
Of course I got back Friday night and was slammed back into reality. Saturday and Sunday I watched 6 soccer games. That's right 6!
No it wasn't part of a suspended sentence.
Item # 1. My oldest daughter is a great kid and one of my favorite people, but it's official: she would like me better if I were invisible. And very quiet. It seems many things I do and say make her role her eyes. Things like not being invisible and quiet.
I dropped her off at the bus yesterday and when we saw her friends I offered to stop the car half a block away. She accepted and that is that. Today, same thing and so it goes.
I'm guessing this gets worse before it gets better.
Item # 2: Dalton McGinty and the Liberals announce they might be interested in a stat holiday in the bleak month of February. Oh and their campaign won't officially kick off til next week.
Really. And we're just supposed to suck that down as though it weren't a load of Shite?
Hey who doesn't want a day off in the crappiest month of the winter but remember Dalton promised a lot of things last time and didn't keep his word. Little things like not raising taxes and about a hundred other tidbits.
I don't want to be cynical(yeah right) but I think this his campaign to be re-elected has begun.
Item last. I'm looking forward to the following TV shows. Curb your Enthusiasm, (maybe one of the best shows ever) Prison Break, Chuck(hot secret agent sidekick) and Weeds. Also all new episodes of Iron Chef America, Jamie at Home and Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares.
You know I watch a lot of shows on The Food Network. Seriously and I don't know why. I can't cook to save my life, but I find some kind of weird comfort in watching others do it. Kind of like food-porn.
For as long as I can remember New York has been my favorite city. I always felt an affinity for it because of my Dad.
Yes we grew up in Moose Jaw, about as far from NYC as you can get, but from an early age I would hear stories of the place from my Father. He lived there after the war and spent several years working on becoming an actor. Him and several hundreds thousands others.
Still it was a pretty cool story for a Moose Jaw boy.
The American Academy is were Lou went to acting school. His room-mate for a time was Conrad Bain, later the Dad on Different Strokes and his classmates included Don Rickles.
Anyway I remember thinking, "Uh, let me get this straight. We live here but we could have lived there? WTF?"
Why my Dad moved back to Canada and then to Moose Jaw is a story in itself, but the point is because of him I've always loved New York. Got it?
Over the years I've been lucky enough to visit Manhattan a bunch of times and for the next couple of days I'll be hanging out again.
A little fun and a little business. I'll be working on some stuff to do with my book, hopefully getting it a home in a US bookstore chain. Also a meeting with someone I'm involved in a TV project with as well. (How cool does that sound!)
Of all the time's I've been there this will be the first where my purpose will be more than just hanging around and staring at stuff.
I'll let you know how the bidness stuff goes someday soon. I promise.
I won't be blogging it up from NYC so enjoy the next couple of days and I'll bring you up to speed when I get back.
Bewell,
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I love the show Entourage. If you haven't seen it, get the DVD and catch up.
Most people agree that Jeremy Priven as Ari Gold is the show. But the rest of the dudes are cool too.
Have a look.
I spent the weekend doing some Air Show stuff but I must say Congrats to my pals David White, Mike Krum and the rest of the mens and womens that put on this mother. It is by far the best anywhere and Torontonians should be damn proud. That's right be proud people cause the CIAS is the shite, as the kids say.
I drank way too much Scotch Saturday night at an AirShow function, cabbed it home and starting barking about how we never have any frozen pizza in our house.
My kids thought it was quite amusing and inquired after my state of drunkenness.
Speaking of which, my babies went back to school today. Grade 4 and Grade FREAKIN 8!
Squeeze me?
I have a kid in grade 8? Me.
Scares the crap out of me cause when this happens again next year, I'll have a child in High School and that will make me a very very old man.
One more story on Ernie Butler for you people in the 416/905 that may have heard of him. Check it out here.
Most of you Toronto types don't know Ernie Butler but in Montreal he was the king of comedy.
He ran a club there for years and helped launch and sustain many a young comic's career.
Ask any of the radio people, they all knew Ernie.
I met him while I worked there and liked him right away. He knew my wife before I did and our first date (Randee and I, not me and Ernie) was at his comedy club.
He was even at our wedding.
I just found out last night he died suddenly last week and it was sad news indeed. We hadn't kept in close touch these last few years, but whenever I ran into him he was always good for a laugh.
A hale fellow well met, or whatever that quote is.
This is from his obit.
Over five hundred friends, family and colleagues packed St. Monica's Church in NDG today for the funeral of the 58-year-old comedy impresario who died last week of stomach cancer.
Ernie's younger brothers Michael and John eulogized their sibling as a generous and devoted family man; a big brother who gave John, a Bobby Orr fan, his only ticket to a playoff game between the Bruins and the Canadiens.
"He has no idea that it was one of the greatest evenings of my life and it was all because of Ernie."
In his homily, Father John Walsh says Ernie put others in the spotlight instead of turning it on himself, giving comics their big break at his comedy club.
"Ernie never said he was the best stand-up comic because his real strength, and he knew it, was that he was a great master of ceremonies."
Walsh says Ernie helped anybody who felt that life was cruel to them or that they were rejected by society.
"Ernie turned cruelty into healing through laughter."
He leaves his wife Marie and his children Silver, Ryan and Shannon.
As you no doubt know, next week is Rosh Hashanah and what better way to get ready for the Jewish New Year than a sort of cute Hebrew chick singing about it.
Enjoy.
