October 2007 Archives

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Th Drivel supply may be low-ish...

I've got meetings and work downtown for the next 3 days.
I'll try and lay out some junk when I can.
Couple of quick things.

1)Team Gold hasn't won all our games. We eeked out a tie against a very well-coach and slick Team Rob and Ed. Sorry if I made it seem otherwise. Rob, you big baby!

2)Thanks for the Mac Attack. A lot of you gave me some great input into the world of Mac and I'm getting closer and closer to making that a part of my life.
The first personal computer I ever played with was a Macintosh that my room-mates in LA had.
Very cool, very leading edge. Much like their products today.

Talk to you later,
h

Category: BREAKING NEWS...SORT OF

Posted by Humble on October 31, 2007 @ 07:38 | Permalink

Howard the LapTop Hunter!

I've been pining over this for some time.
I want a Mac.
I've mentioned this before and now I'm getting closer...again.
Yes I've had this discussion previously and now I'm about to pull the trigger on a purchase.
Anybody have a Mac Laptop and anyone know anything about them?
I know I like them and they're pretty.
I know they are cheaper in the States (Big surprise) by about 250 bucks and I know the Macbook Pro is too much for me.
So the question which one to get.
I've been on the phone with a good dude named Neal who is trying to help me out but it's all 80 GB or 160 GB and accessories.
But if you actually own one let me know if it's any good.
In the meantime I'll keep looking but it's something I really want but I'm only marginally sure I need.

Category: HumbleStuff

Posted by Humble on October 30, 2007 @ 09:23 | Permalink

All my wife's Facebook Yenta's seem to be sending this around.
Pretty cool and a good 3 minute time-waster.
There's a longer version but this clip will give you the idea.
Check it out and watch it to the end.

Team Gold is the girls Under 14/15 polar opposite of the Maple Sucks. Team Gold has lost no games. As in none. The Leafs? Well they win the odd game except when they get their oysters smoked.

Last night was another hard fought victory over the very plucky Team Purple. Gabs and Taylor scored 4 goals each and Rhianna popped in a singleton and we needed all of them.
The final score 9-8 and it was tense till the last minute.
Team Gold was up early and held the lead but Team Purple featuring Amanda G, a gritty former Coach Howard player, kept coming back and made it a close one.

Game notes:
This week no one screamed at me and coach Marc and I didn't have to open up a can of Girls Soccer Coaching whoop-ass on anyone.

Team Gold has now beat every other team in the league and now all the other teams will be trying extra hard to beat us. I bet Coach Ed and Rob are staying up late devising strategies to take us down. Good luck suckers!

Coach Marc is obsessed by the boards. He keeps yelling, "Use the Boards, Use the Boards!"
It sounds like he's saying "Use the Force girls, use the Force!"
He's like Coachie Wan Kenobi.
Don't matter though, he's right and he also gave me some cool cordless phones.Thanks MG.

(Inconceivable! You bested my Giant so you must be strong...)

DEER MEAT
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat
it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they
begged their dad for the clue.
Well, he said, 'It's what mommy calls me sometimes'.
The little girl screams to her brother
'Don't eat it, it's an asshole..

My sites been down all day. Sorry.
I just got to post something that I wrote this morning and now I have to go coach Team Gold to another non-loss.
So far we are 3-0-1 and one tko.
(Read all about last weeks tussle here.)

I finally saw Death Proof. That joint Rocks. Quentin Taratino is the man and then there's everyone else.
I also saw Knocked Up. Laughed my N*ts off. Yes I did. If you see them please put them in an envelope and drop them in the mail.

Gotta run, thanks for the nice comments on my Dad entry recap.
Much appreciated.
h

USA! USA! USA!
Hey not it's not only that poor Miss Teen America contestant who's a dope how bout the US State and Homeland security.
They released a rah rah America video touting all the wonders of the land and the Niagara Falls footage was from the much more beautiful Canadian side!
Holy crap.
But about four minutes into the seven-minute video, Welcome: Portraits of America, viewers are treated to the impressive sight and sound of water roaring over Niagara Falls.
In showing the natural wonder, Disney's filmmakers, however, chose the Horseshoe Falls, the only one of Niagara's three waterfalls to lie almost entirely on the Canadian side of the border separating New York State from Ontario.
Making matters worse, a visitor to the U.S. would not even be able to get the same view of the falls in the video because the scene was shot from a vantage point in Canada, according to Paul Gromosiak, a Niagara Falls, N.Y., historian and author.

Then come back for some classic Randy Newman and something called "A few words in defense our out country!"

Some of you know my Dad, Lou Glassman, died last year. October 27, 2006 to be exact.
I wanted to look back at some of the stuff I wrote around that time and I thought you might like to peruse it again as well.
I miss my Father very much and last night I raised a glass to him with a Martini, one of his favorite drinks.
When I read some of the entries it brought me back to that painful time and in way helped remind me of what I lost and how time is starting to make it hurt less.

I was blogging from this nice cafe on Main street and I was trying to keep things going.

I'm in Moose Jaw. Some of you may know that this is where I'm from. Some of you may already have guessed that I'm here on less than happy circumstances. My father, Lou has a serious health issue, and my brothers and I are here to give him some comfort. It hasn't been an easy time for my family. It's pretty sad and scary and weird. But mostly it's sad.
I haven't spent much time here over the years so it's kind of strange getting around town and living at the house I was born in. I don't have much time to blog as I spend most of the day at the hospital. My dad has moments of lucidity and he has a wicked good sense of humour.
The other day we were in Regina to see a specialist and we were being attended to by a couple of cute, very sweet nurses.
I said to him, "These nurses here in Regina are really cute!"
He comes back with, "Yeah the nurses are nice, but their football team still sucks!"
Funny that the patient is the one who seems to be breaking the tension.

I wrote this a couple of days before he died and the last day he was awake before he became comatose.

Many of you know I'm in Moose Jaw visiting my dad. He had a great day yesterday, I got him out of his bed and outside in the sun. Amazing that as sick as he is, all he really wants to do is smoke! Anyway, thanks to everybody who has left such nice comments. We all know that we're going to have to go through this...many of you already have, and now it's my turn.
We're not sure what's going on in terms of his prognosis, but it's not good and it's day to day.
So that's all I know.

I was supposed to go back to Toronto for a couple of appearances and I stopped by the hospital on the way to the airport with my Brothers and the nurses to me it looked very bad. They said if I was leaving I'd best say my goodbyes. I wasn't ready to do that so I canceled my trip back East.

My dad isn't doing too well so I decided to stay with him in Moose Jaw. I won't be at the Womens show tonight, but my book will be. My publishing partner Jason will have 100 books to give away at the main stage at 5:30. After those are gone he'll be taking orders.
I'm sorry I can't be there but If some of you were making plans because of me, I'd like to offer you a free book instead. Believe me it's less annoying and funnier! I don't know when I'm coming back to Toronto but I'll try and update you on things here in the Jaw when I can.
Oh yeah I won't be on the CH TV thing tonight either. Take care and I'll check back with you all soon.

Finally, Friday October 27. Randee came to Moose Jaw and she and I sat with Lou for a bit before all of us went out for dinner. He died while we were away cause that's the type of man he was.
I wrote this the next day.

I'll make this brief because it hurts too much to type.
My dad died last night around 8:30 pm Moose Jaw time.
After spending all day surrounded by his sons, their wives and some grand-kids he finally passed away in the one hour when we were all out of the room. He was like that. He didn't like to be fussed over and when he was finally alone he slipped peacefully away.
He would have been 84 in December.
I have been choked up gusting to in-tears off and on for the last few days but over all I'm relieved.
I got to spend a few great days with him and my brothers, and now I'm doing what all sons and daughters do, I'm grieving and taking care of his business.
Thanks for your thougths and comments.
I'm not coming back to Toronto for another week but I'll be in touch here whenever I can.

My Dad died 39 days ago. October 27th. 5 weeks, 4 days shy of his 84th birthday.
I thought of this last night during my normal 2 hour toss and turn session between 3-5am. You know, it's not bad when you think of it in the abstract. I mean nearly 84 fairly healthy years and then a quick passing is pretty good when you think of it applied to someone else, someone you don't know, someone who's not your father.
It would have been Lou's 84th birthday today and I thought for the first time since this all began I'd show you a picture of him.
Nearly 84 years is pretty good when you think of it, except when it comes to someone who was your Dad, someone you miss very badly every day.
Happy Birthday Lou!

Judy Croon and I have known each other a long time. Over 20 years.
We started off doing stand-up together in Calgary, worked the Yuks circuit and then hooked up again in TO when she joined the H+F show.
I loved working with her on stage and on the Air and now we've been booked as comics to do this CBC national Radio show called The Debaters.
It's a mock debate about a variety of subjects featuring comics taking a subjects side and writing jokes about it.
I can't wait. Jude-zilla and I will be going on the road together again.
We tape it in December and I'll let you know when it airs.
Where is the taping? Saskatchewan of course!

It's the most bizarre thing. I left home over 28 years ago and only went back to Moose Jaw ever other year or so.
Now in the last 12 plus months I've been back to the province 6, soon to be 7 times. Weird.
Saskatchewan is calling me, "Come back Prairie Jew, come back!"

As most of you know, the bulk of those visits were to see my Dad. The anniversary of his passing is Saturday and this weekend, I thought I'd feature some of the writing I did back in October of last year. Some of it's pretty painful to re-read but I wanted to remember how I felt and how hard it was and how long ago it feels.
Hope you won't mind.

I got this note about a little girl from Hamilton who can't get back in the country. I don't normally put this stuff up but this won't take much of your time. Have a look and do what you think you should.
LittleGirlThing

My pal Toni (aka Soccer Mom-looking good at the ToFC game I might add!) sent me this link called "Cubicle Freak Out!" Fun, entertaining and weird. You will enjoy hours of I-should-be-working time playing this.
CubicleFreakOut!!!

And finally, Pam sent me a link to the movie Repo The Genetic Opera which I played a very minor role in earlier this week.
Have a look at this strange looking little film. It's definitely going to be different. Very ghoulish and Halloweenie.(I guess that's why I'm not a movie critic.)
Have a look, courtesy of Pam.

Holy Crap!

Early this week I was playing golf with my buddy Jeff Lumby and my best half-Mexican Carlos Benevides from the Giant Afternoon Radio Show on Dave Fm and Lumby got hit in the nuts by a golf ball. Twice.
I've never seen such a thing. The group behind seemed oblivious to waiting for us to clear the green and just hammered Lumby in the nut-sack on two separate occasions.
Very dangerous and highly amusing.
Read all about it here.

And don't forget to listen to Carlos on the Mammoth Later Afternoon-Early evening Wireless Broadcast. Do it, especially you South Americans!

So there you have it. Charlie is 13 and we got her a cell phone.
Not exactly a Bat Mitvah but a passage just the same.
I thought it was time she had one for safety.
She wanted one for non-stop friend access.
I guess we'll see.
I know she was one happy new teen last night when she got it.
We were pretty happy parents to give it to her.

Singapore Airlines unwrapped their gift yesterday. A big, honkin jumbo jet. Yes I said Honkin.
This thing is massive holding nearly 800 plus passengers.
I was curious to see what it looked like so I YouTubed it.
Check this.

Hey Hhdotcom peeps. Thanks for checking in.
Quite a bit of feedback...here's some.

A little suggestion for the nano...
For some reason which will forever remain a mystery to me, I woke up with Lambs Head running through my head (That little lambs head costs a dollar fifty two). Why something from H&F #1 in 97 should mysteriously appear in my brain I have no idea but I thought I should share the joy!!!
Signed,
Felkins.

Buffalo Boy is a good dude who has been part of the H+F world for some time and now he's up and running on the net.
He checked in recently.
Howard, Mike Boon and I have been working hard on my new blog buffaloboymike.com. I have to give you credit for creating the idea of buffaloboy as the name has stuck with me over the years. Could ya give me a little promo and link me on your site?
I can honestly say you, freddie and mike inspired me to get into it and its a lot of fun.
Thanks
Mike (Buffalo Boy)
PS I have you linked in my sidebar

And then I received this hysterical bit of back and forth from some Hhdotcom regulars.

Great! They're filming another Short Circuit movie with you resurrecting the Steve Guttenberg role.
See you Saturday. Toronto Mike

Trust me, this posting alone is a lot more interesting than certain other places.
Jason

My pal Mike Boon who has been my web mentor for over a year now, never fails to tweak my interest with his little bloggy blog.
I checked this out the other day and not only do I dig the ad but I Lime-wired the song and now it resides nicely on my IPod.
Check this out. I betcha don't just watch it once.

It is with a heavy heart I write this today. Our first-born baby is a teen! It is so weird to think that this little nothing of an infant was born 13 years ago and now she is a stunning young woman.
I know some of you were listening during that time and may remember how overwhelming it all was for us. Like all parents.

She's turned out to be a good egg, our Charlie.
She loves everybody and only wants the best for people.
She's never given us a bit of trouble outside of normal kid crap and she makes me proud all the time.
But as I stated I'm conflicted. When I look at her now (picture not available due to Motherly security protocol!) I find it hard to believe how grown up she looks.
I love the young lady she's become but I miss the little girl she used to be. I really do.
I know that kid will always be in there, somewhere.
Mostly in my heart.
Happy Birthday Charlie.

It was a great game and possibly the worst game I've been at as a Father and coach.
First the soccer.

Team Gold went down one goal early and then took it to Team Pink for the rest of the game.
Carly scored a nice one, as did Rachel and Claire and The Gab-ster got serious and popped in Four! Charlie G had 4 assists and 1600 shots on net but came up empty again.
A very intense match indeed.

Now the bad.
In the first 5 minutes of the game the other coach went ballistic over something and started screaming at Coach Marc and I. We really had no idea what he was on about but whatever it was it was a misunderstanding.
Marc and I began to apologize but he wouldn't listen and then he got furious and stormed onto the field.
I felt he had yelled at us enough and I went out to tell him so.
I won't go into too many gory details but at some point he and I were nose to nose yelling at the top of our lungs at each other. It was very surreal.
Remember this was at the 5 minute mark of the game. He really went way off the rails.

I was told after the game by parents from the other team that he was totally in the wrong but I felt I still shouldn't have gotten into it with him.
It was pretty embarrassing.
All of a sudden I was one of those dad/coaches that is freaking out at some other idiot at a children's sporting event. What a couple of asses.
I approached him after the game and extended an apology for what had transpired. I never received one in return even though he began the whole thing by freaking out and screaming at us at the top of his lungs.
Oh well at least I knew I was wrong. No excuses.

I will say the fact that we won 7-5 made making an arse-hole out of myself a little easier to take.

The next few days Hhdotcom may be a bit lean. I am downtown every day and I may not have time to fully serve you peeps the way I like to. The way you deserve to be served. The type of service that says, "I care about you and I'm not just doing this blog until I get a real job!"

I'll finally be sitting down with one of the great icons of Canook media. I can't tell you his name but it rhymes with Toeziz Finer. He has agreed to meet with me and I can't wait. I dig this guy and I'd love to work with/for/around him.
I'd fetch his coffee if it meant I could soak up some of the savvy dripping from his jam-packed cranium.

I have 3 LKTYP meetings with prospective grown-up board of directors. These are people who do real things for a living and I'm to meet with them to see if they'd like to serve our fine Theatre for Young People.
I hope they don't ask me what I do for work.
Them: So Mr. Board President, and what do you do?
Me: Uh, I have a blog that's read by nearly 37 people a day.
Them: Impressive.

Also this week I'll be meeting with the most powerful TV Producer in Canada. I can't tell you who he is but he produces a little show that rhymes with Fanadian Ridol.
Anyway he and I are going to be working on a show that I created and I'll tell you it's pretty danged exciting.
I would also love to work for/with/around this dude too. Many fine things are stirring around his giant TV brain and I'd make him lunch every day if he'd just let me catch the odd Giant Brain Dripping.
We'll see.

So I spent the day with John Gallagher on the set of this cool futuristic movie staring Paul Sorvino, (The boss from GoodFellas) and Paris Hilton.(Smoking Hot society chick.)
Met them both.
Well sort of.

Met and shook Paul Sorvino's hand, had a little small talk in the make-up room and it was cool.
As for Paris.
She was in the room while we were getting made up but I honestly didn't know it was her until about 5 minutes before she got up and left.
It was very odd. The room was full of people and I was getting stuff sprayed onto my face and I looked over and noticed this pretty little thing wearing a bathrobe.
I whispered to the make-up lady..."Is that uh, you know, Paris Hilton?"
"Yup" She says.
And that was it. A few minutes later Paris got up, I tried to say something clever, but I just sort of half-smiled and she was gone.
Oh well, our plans to run off together will just have to wait. For now.

Anyway the movie seemed pretty cool.
Here's the synopsis...A worldwide epidemic encourages a biotech company to launch an organ-financing program similar in nature to a standard car loan.
Apparently if you can't pay the loans your organs get re-possessed or something like.

It was all futuristic and goth-looking and I was wearing a tux and hanging with Spike G so it was a fine day all around.
The director is the guy that did Saw 2, 3, and 4 and he seemed like a good dude too.
I'll let you know when this thing gets released so you can see how bizarre I can really look.

I auditioned for a movie about 7 weeks ago and late last night I finally got my shoot day. Today.
I have to leave early and I'll be gone most of the day so there will be a drivel delay.
Sorry.
Do come back though cause I've some pretty spicy stuff for you.

In the last couple of days I've been..
1) Yelled at by an obese women in a bar and told to shut up.
2) Been hit into twice in the same round of golf by the same nitwits.(Some yelling ensued.)
3) Got into a juvenille screaming match with another girls U14 soccer coach.
Yes I'm serious.
I'll have the full Team Gold recap of yet another stunning victory.(The undefeated season continues...)
A bit about Mike Weir and some fresh Hhdotcom funnies.
But for now I have to go cause it looks like it's raining and I have to be downtown early.
Later.

My pal Stinky, (Who actually smells pretty good...) sent me this Leaf joke. I seemed to remember hearing it a while ago but no matter, it is still funny.
Not as funny as blowing another 2 goal lead and losing for the 3rd time in 10 days.
Yeah man the Tradition of Suckagge that Unites us all!
Enjoy.
And thanks Sinky for some nice OPC.(Other peoples content.)

A mans body was discovered, early this morning, floating face down in Toronto Harbour by a man out for a jog.
Police are mystified at how the man's body wound up in the lake but assumed he had been participating is some kind
of outlandish activity, since he was wearing fish net stockings, a garter and bra under a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey .
He had copious amounts of a red lipstick on his lips and tan foundation on his face. Police were really puzzled
when the coroner discovered the body also had a cucumber inserted into the anus.

To spare the family any further embarrassment, a spokesperson for the Toronto Police Service said that they had
removed the Leafs Jersey

I did two nights of stand up with Glen Foster this weekend at the Oakville Center and it was great.
I love working with Glen and I got to see my pal Tony Krolo for the first time in years.
It was weird.
When I did comedy full time nearly 20 years ago I worked with these two a lot...when we were in our twenties. Now, here we were, middle-aged men working together again.Or as Glen says "I hope we're middle-aged, my math could be off!"

I seemed to do well. I hosted and did about 20 minutes both night and I got some good laughs. I haven't done much stand up lately so I had to rehearse in my basement all week just to get the rhythm down. I know that sounds odd, but even though I wrote the junk a comic has to say the stuff out loud in order to perfect the timing.
It seemed to work. Plus I'm always proud of the fact that it's a skill that very few other Radio guys have.
I got this nice note.

Great job last night! Honestly, I did not know that you were hosting the show. Friends of mine got the tickets for us when they went on sale a while back.
You did an excellent job! You noted that you hoped you would not throw up on yourself...too bad someone else did. Why does that happen in rooms filled with people? Why can't it happen outside in the open.
Thanks for the laughs~
Colleen.

She's referring to the fact that just before the 2nd half started some dude threw up in the audience. I was like "Thank you Gods of Comedy for this unexpected gift!"
Not sure when I'll be doing it again but I'll let you know.

I heard about this on the weekend and stole it from Mike Boon's site. (I've already linked him today so find him on your own!)
It's from Bill Maher's show and it's great. Live TV gone amuck and Maher handles it well.
But is Bill really saying that 911 wasn't planned by the US government? Hmmm I thought he was smarter than that.(Tongue in cheek although some days I'm not sure.)\
Here's the thing.

I now have to rely on my 12 soon-to-be 13 year-old to keep in the loop musically. Well her and Mike Boon.( Mike put up a cool Top 100 Canook tunes list recently..check it out here.)

I asked Charlie to send me a few of her current IPod favs so I could load them up on my new Nano.
Here's what she sent me.

Move On-Jet
Ayo Technologie- 50cent ft. emiminem
Hide and Seek- Imogen Heap
Speeding Cars-Imogen Heap
Kiss Kiss-Chris Brown ft. T-Pain
Please Dont Stop The Music-Rihanna

I dug them all but the one I really got into is this Imogen Heap chick. She is unbelievably talented and hot and British.(I think?) Anyway, she is truly unique as you'll see in this YouTube clip.
Check this out. It's called Hide and Seek and it's the hit.

It must be a slow valve week because my pal Geoff H, valve impresario-extrodinaire has been on fire with the OPC.(other peoples content.)
Dang it dude Hhdotcom appreciates it.
Here's a little thing the Valve-Man sent.

8 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
Noon - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
5 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe .......For now...

Hey Hhdotcom, do you have any shots of you in your Tuxedo from the night you hosted Fact or Fiction at the ROM with Mary Jo Eustice!
Yes I do. Well without Mary Jo.
I got ready on Wednesday night and thought I'd better take some shots. I took a few with my kids but I'm no longer allowed to show pictures of them on my site due to security protocols put in place by a higher authority.(Mrs Hhdotcom.)
Anyway here's me in Tux at Home.

Hey Hhdotcom do you have any pictures of the Jello gloves you and Spencer (no photo available) made for her to take to her friends Halloween party?
As a matter of fact I do.
Last night Spenny and I poured Jello into 2 rubber gloves to make Jello hands. It was all her idea and I have to admit it turned out pretty cool.
Check it.
Jello Gloves on Counter.

I'm not really at liberty to say why we have a supply of rubber gloves, but some of you may recall I sometimes think I'm a Doctor. I'm not but it's fun to pretend. Okay I've said enough.

Tonight and tomorrow night at the Oakville Centre I'll be hosting/opening for my pal Glen Foster.
Yes I'm nervous, no I don't think I'll puke up all over myself.
I've worked with Glen for years before I came back to Radio, during and now after.
He's one of my favorite comics and never fails to write new and funny shite.
I'll just try and stay out of the way.

Strange, when I was doing shows 7-9 times a week it was a breeze. Night after night in clubs I'd stand there and fire off 30-40 minutes. But now that I do it so irregularly it's way harder. I've spent all week rehearsing and learning my little 15-20 minutes and I'm still not sure I remember it all.
Of course I'm old and my brain has had 20 more years of pickling.

Tonights show is a private function/charity fundraisor and Saturday night is open to all who have the dough.
Check this out for details.
(Just scroll down a little.)

I think Steve Colbert may be the funniest non-Hebe around. Yes even you white-people can spit out the odd fine yuckster and Little Stevie Colbert is one of them.
He's running for President and why not. He's no less qualified than the stumble-bum they've got now and at least he means to be funny.
Here's Colbert making the announcement.
SORRY THE THING IS DOWN DUE TO SOME "COPYRIGHT" BS!
Jason P sent me this blurb on Tiger juice.
Pepsico's (PEP) Gatorade Co. will launch a drink named for golf star Tiger Woods, Gatorade Tiger, in March, with additional products added to the line in the future.
Financial terms of the sponsorship deal weren't disclosed.
Sales of Gatorade, PepsiCo's second-best-selling brand globally, have been choppy in recent quarters as the sports drink faces a tough competitive environment. PepsiCo executives recently said they expect several new products, including a low-calorie version of Gatorade called G2, to help fuel growth of their noncarbonated beverages.

Cool. I read this myself yesterday and the terms they were throwing around were 100 million over 5 years. My question. Would Tiger even notice that money or would that be just some side cash for Mrs. Tiger to take the baby shopping.

Finally the ROM thing went very nicely last night. I hung with the extremely beautiful Mary Jo Eustice and met some other hot rich babes as well. Dang guys with money get some nice looking gals. How'd I luck out.(Obligatory wife-suck up after talking about other hot women.)

At the end of the night I had the pleasure of meeting the legendary Dave Marsden. Yeah the radio guy that put CFNY on the map. I've been in town nearly 20 years and last night was the first time I'd met him. A great guy and quite the character.
I've heard so much about him that I felt I knew him and he lived up to everything I'd been told.
He's currently doing the Iceberg thing and spinning his own tunes Thursdays and Friday nights on The Rock in Oshawa.

I know you probably get a bunch of junk like this but I thought I'd pass this along in case you somehow missed this one.
It came from one my Hhdotcom pals Micker07(??) and you might be slightly amused.
That's all I can hope for these day.
Here we go kids.
(I've edited it down but you'll get the idea.)

Message: Fall Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--
Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

See. Harmless time-wasting fun that you can blink at while your supposed to be working.
Your welcome.

I don't mean to freak you out but I may not have time to do my little bloggage anymore. I've just received word from Mr Bichnga Tran that I'm about to get 1.3 million dollars. This will of course be more than enough money to open that Pita Pocket franchise I've been looking at so I'll be too busy making yummy Pitas to write every day.
I love the Pita Pocket, the Pitas are fresh and healthy and some even have hummous.
Who can argue with that?
I'll work there with my whole family and maybe one day retire and let my kids take over.
All I have to do is send in some undisclosed amount of money to the UniAir annual lottery program and my Pita dreams will soon be coming true.
Thank you Bichnga Tran.

From:The desk of the Ceo
UniAiR annual lottery program
Winning number:0610060645200385
Serial net batch number:187561691619
Attn:
Congratulations,you have been selected as one of the lucky winners in our annual end of year lottery program through our internet balloting email extracting and screening machine,your application was applied and processed by our internet balloting email extracting and screening machine which randomly extracts and screens millions of email adresses around the world.
This lottery program is held annually as part of UniAiR end of year lottery promotions.You are the 2nd among our 5 lucky winners and you have therefore been awarded a lump sum payout of USD1,003,198.5{One million,three thousand one hundred and ninety-eight U.S dollars,5 cent}
Your winning number is:0610060645200385 and your serial net batch number is:187561691619.Please note that there were no ticket sellouts in our lottery program,all our past and present winners were selected randomly through the internet balloting email extracting and screening machine.
In this regards you are adviced to forward the following requirements urgently to mr moses by email scanning attachments for faster processing,to enable us begin the processing of your winning documents and money transfer:
(1.)Write in full,your telephone number,postal and residential adress.
(2.)Scanned copy of your recent passport photograph.
(3.)Scanned copy of the main information page of your national passport or I.d card or driving licence.
(4.)Acceptance fee:This fee should be payed through western union money transfer adressed to the second secretary of UniAiR.
Providing the above requirements will assure you your winning certificate and prize money bank cheque which we shall post to you through express courier service.
Important Notice:
The prize money will be remmited to you in full as soon as we receive all the requirements listed above.Please inform mr moses the means you which to receive your prize money,we prefer sending our winners bank cheques by courier service but we can also send you the prize money by bank transfer or western union money transfer if you wish.
We shall be anticipating your reply soon.
Thanks
Mr Bichnga Tran

Today is a banner day here at Hhdotcom as its all about you, the people.
Lots of OPC and I couldn't be happier. I have to get ready for a couple of shows I'm doing this weekend(more about that Friday) and I'm glad you peeps are on board to pick up the slack around here.
Soccer Mom sent this to my wife but I ripped it off and am happy to post it here.
It's the Mom Song and all your chick friends will love this or have already seen it.
Dig it.

The heading refers to my roof, I'm the goof and I thought adding "the proof" made it sound cool.

As I write this there are about 15 dudes on my roof stripping shingles and banging in nails. It's really quite something to see.
I got 5 different quotes and this company was best by far. 3 reasons.
1)Best price for the quality of shingle.(Timberline 40 year!)
2)Came highly recommended by my buddy Geoff H.
3)Work done in one freaking day. Not even. They got here at 9 and are scheduled to be done by 3.
How good is that?

I really did my homework and I'm happy to recommend Complete Roofing. The guy Pierre has been great to deal with and the price was very fair. Go to CompleteRoofing.ca.

All the companies I dealt with except one were very good. One guy showed up for our appointment and I just happened to be outside my front door when he arrived in his truck.
He never got out of the truck and actually yelled his quote to me from inside the vehicle.
Nice salesmanship.
"I do your house for 63 hundred," he yells at me.
"How do you know that without measuring?" I respond.
"I do a lot of houses in this neighborhood." hey shouts back at me.
I walk back in the house thinking,"Maybe you do but not mine!"

Hey if you want the business at least make it look like your trying.
Before I went inside I asked him for a card. He waved me over to his truck and handed me one through the window. Uh okay.
Anything else I can do for you, coffee, drink of water a jaunty F-away and be gone?

Fact? or Fiction? returns to the ROM
for an 11th incredible year...
Toronto’s best kept secret, an evening of deduction, deception and
discovery, is back on October 17, 2007

That's tonight, a big time fundraisor at the museum to help fund research. I'm happy to do it cause it means hanging out with my co-host Mary Jo Eustice, drinking free and eating expensive little horsedoovers. Hell I'm just happy to be asked to do pretty much anything these days. (Have I mentioned I'm available for Bar Mitzvah's and Birthday parties!)

It's a cool night full of rich people having fun and giving up some of their dough for a good cause.
Last year it was Valerie Pringle and me.
Have a look.
Fact or Fiction Fun!

This hardly used to happen. (From left to right) David, Steven and me all together. I'd see Steve every so often when he was in town working on CBC shows that no matter how diverse share a lack of "me" in common.
David I would see a bit less cause his work didn't take him out East.
We got together occasionally. I took the family to Calgary a couple of years ago and prior to that, the three of us organized my Fathers 80th birthday. That was it. The three of us weren't in the same space very much.
Till the last year of course.
Starting last October The G-Bros were together quite a bit because of my Dad's illness, death, funeral, house-dispersal and now unveiling.
I looked at this picture and I wondered when the next time we might be able to take another.
A happy occasion I hope.

A team that is yet to lose is what? Unde-fing-feated. That is how Team Gold is rolling.
3 games, 2 wins, one tie.
Last night was a full TG squad and it was awesome to behold.
Team Kelly Green was a fine group who were just over whelmed by our girls and there's no shame in that.
In the first half it was clear Gold came to play and by the 30 minute mark we'd built a nice 6-1 lead.
Gabs, Claire, Carly, Taylor, Rhianna and Hillary Hoole popped in some dandys and we were well ahead.
In half two, Kelly Greens star player, (my pal Hicksie's kid) Brooke came out of net and led a KG comeback.
Alas it was too late. (Yes I said alas.) In the end Team Gold prevailed 8-5 and so far have yet to taste bitter defeat.(Like Coach Ed and Rob have!)

Game Notes:
-Coach Marc chastised me for fraternizing with the other coaches while he did all the work. Sheesh what a keener.
-I forgot the team balls and goalie sweater so we had to borrow them. This is lame because besides opening and closing the gate, the balls and sweater comprise 2/3s of my coaching duties.
-All the girls played well but Marc and I were particularly impressed by Tori whose never played any organized soccer and has done very nicely on a team that's got a lot of talent. She also took a ball in the melon in week one and got a bleeding beak and never made a fuss about it.
-Also my kid Charlie G is scoreless so far despite having 900 shots on goal last night.

Captain Phil is the promotional genius behind such bits as Humble and Fred's Tough Contest and all it's variations and was a jovial lad to pal around with many moons ago at The Edge. (Aw memories of employment. Sometimes I forget that I ever had a job.)
Anyway CP sent me a nice not and some content yesterday.
This is the kind of thing of which I think you enjoy much!
Love your internets writing! Keep up some work!

Thanks Phil.
Here is a little ditty called Girl Dancing Dog Humping. Keep your eyes on the dog.

My pal Toni, aka Soccer Mom, is all over OPC. Yes other people helping out Hhdotcom leaves more time for me to contemplate the abyss that is my life.
Yesterday I mentioned what's on my IPod Nano and Soccer Mom chimed in with a category I'd
love to explore.
5 IPod must haves;

Here's hers.
November Rain, Guns and Roses
Have you ever seen the rain, CCR
Bad Timing, Blue Rodeo
Ring of Fire, Johnny Cash
Boots or Heart, Tragically Hip

Huh? You likey? I would love to hear what your IPod essentials are. I will put them up on my site (After I legally download them. By legally I of course mean Illegally!) and we will all benefit from some community sharing. Sharing is good and sharing will, in the end, mean less for me to do.
Thanks Soccer Mom.
She also sent me a link to some amazing sidewalk chalk-art.
Check this out.

I wrote last week about my new IPod Nano.
I love the Nano. It is my besty.
I've been loading it up with some of my favorite tunes and I thought you might find it interesting to hear what I'm listening to these days.
I find I'm all over the place with the type of stuff I put on
the little magical wonder. I just start thinking about songs I like and those I
haven't hear in a long time. A lot of nostalgia from a life spent introducing tunes.
Some hits, some obscure bits and some of my personal heroes. Tom Waits, Donald Fagen,
Randy Newman etc.
Of course all down-loads are perfectly legal. Except the ones that aren't.
In no particular order...

Cranberries-Linger/Zombie.
U2-Elevation.
T.Pain featuring Akon-Bartender.(Randee's suggestion. I dig it.)
Sentimental Lady-Bob Welch.(SuperStar of the 70's!)
Paul Simon-Still Crazy after all these years.
Steely Dan-ShowBiz Kids.
Joe Jackson-It's different for girls.
Rem-Man on the Moon.
Marvin Gaye-Mercy Mercy Me.
Lyle Lovitt-If I had a boat.

That's just a sample plus I just loaded up the entire Across The Universe soundtrack that I bogarted from my brother. His daughter Zoe burned it for him and now I have it. Awesome. Thanks Zoe.
(As I write this Justin Timberlake's Love Stone/I think she knows just started. I like that tune too.
My daughters think he's hot. They think I'm weird. I'll bet hots better than weird.)

Marc G, my fellow Team Gold soccer coaching pal sent me some funny pictures.
Thanks Marc.
Other Peoples Content is most welcome.
Hey Hhdotcom peeps let's hear from you with you OPC. The internet if full of junk and
this is the perfect place to share it.
Remember our motto: "When you send stuff in there's less for me to do!"

Best google ad.

My bros and me spent the weekend in Winnipeg for my Father's unveiling. For the one or two Hhdotcom peeps who wouldn't know, my Dad died last October 27th and we Hebrews have a ceremony to unveil the grave marker at a later date.
That was this past weekend.
I didn't know what to expect but it was a nice/sad/bitter-sweet event.

The Rabbi was perfect and very Rabbi-like and it was a bright, warm October day in the Peg which was nice for the assortment of elder Aunts, Uncles and cousins.
It was nowhere near as sad and emotional as the Funeral and I was glad to have come full circle in the space of a year. I still hurt and miss my Dad very much but not in the crushing way it felt a year ago.
My bro Steve was going to say something and then declined but he told me prior that he wanted to mention that Lou was still with us.
I agree.

The Rabbi talked about how people are immortal because of other peoples memories of them.
It's how I feel about my Dad.
I know I'll never forget him and that he will live on through my memories of him.

The only thing that choked me up at the grave-site was seeing my Dad's stone next to my Mothers. Once again the realization that I am now parent-less and small and I'd best start thinking about growing up soon!

Later we had an after un-veiling thing complete with little finger sang-wiches and the best coleslaw I've ever tasted. People love to eat when we're sad. I'm telling you this coleslaw picked up my spirits.
As a great finale to the day my MOB(Much Older Brothers) and I watched/napped the Saskatchewan Roughriders eat Hamiltons lunch in an afternoon CFL tilt.(Cool sports lingo!)
Lou would have loved it.

I have 3 different meetings today so I won't be blogging up a storm, sorry.
A couple of quick things.

Yes the Liberals won and immediately kept a promise for a Family Day in February.
Dalton must have said, "Oh so thats what that feels like, cool!"
John Tory is getting an ass-kicking from the morons in his party to take the blame for the PC's loss and step down.
Yes it was his fault, no he shouldn't step down. John's a decent guy and the Tory's would be stupid to replace him with a more right-wing leader.

Saw 30 Rock again last night. By far my favorite network show.
Other stuff I like, The Office, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Weeds, (it's back on Showcase), Prison Break and Iron Chef America. Also Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares-no one swears better than this English blokey.

I got an Ipod Nano-Video a couple of weeks ago and now I spend a good bit of my time loading it up with songs. Legally of course. (Well mostly. Okay, some.)
Anyway it's a fun toy and I've been figuring it out quite easily. I have a bunch of my fav songs, video's (Spencer's fav-Fergie, but I like her too.) and pictures.
Both of my daughters have Ipods but this is my first. One of the ways that let's them know how old I am is occasionally I'll refer to their devices as Walkmans. As in "Honey who's Walkman is charging?"
I don't mean to it just comes out. And makes me sound about a hundred.

Finally this weekend my brothers and I are going to Winnipeg for my Father's unveiling.(Ask a Jewish friend.)
It's been almost a year since my Dad died and it seems alternately like a minute/eternity ago.
The past few weeks have brought the realization that this will be the last time I'll be able to think, "a year ago this day/week etc my Father was still alive."
Weird huh? I guess it's pretty common.
Anyway this is the final piece of the process and then it's just lingering grief and memories.
It's been a long, strange, sad, year.
I'll let you know how I do when I get back on Monday.

"I love you Dalton."
"I love you too Ontario, thanks for making me your Master for the next 4 years."

Well that's perfect. MCG is the man, the Tories are the Leafs and the NDP just keeps on
being the NDP.
Dalton McGuinty won a record second Liberal mandate (first in 70 years) and John Tory never got to work the Premier over on his actual record in government.

A free ride is what the LIberals got and I hope we all learn a lesson from this. One issue can't hijack the whole election or all the other issues get buried.
Faith-based school funding should get a big hug from Mr. McGuinty and his pals cause they owe their victory to it.
Mr. Tory should fire whoever said, "Hey why don't we feature Religion as our campaign strategy. People love hearing about that!"

In the end we all get the government we deserve. Now most of us will go back to ignoring the whole bunch of nincompoops for the next 3-4 years.

My friend Geoff H sent me this after he returned from a Love Cruise with his wife.
He's a good pal and I appreciate him helping Hhdotcom with OPC.(Other People's Content.)
This is for everyone who's ever tried to expense something questionable. And enjoyed the movie A Few Good Men.
Dig it. It's very well done.

Welcome to our Erection Day coverage. Yes I say Erection Day 2007 cause that big Wank Dalton Mcg is going to be our Premier again and that's that.
They're all wankers except the ones that aren't.
Since the Erections have been all but decided let's make sure the MMP thing doesn't go through.
It's a bad deal all around and will only end up bogging down government even more than it already is.
I scooped the following from FreddieP.ca and it sort of sums up nicely what this MMP thing is all about. Again I say boo MMP and all MP's that are Wanks.
Now go out, vote and do the right thing.

The people of Ontario did not ask for this referendum.
The people of Ontario want more accountability. They do not want paid MPPs that have no accountability: not to ridings or constituents or any other defined entity or channel.
The people of Ontario want more transparency of their various tax dollars, at all levels of government. They want to eliminate misuse, abuse and squandering of their money and will not tolerate monies provided for apparent immoral means.
MMP will mean:
1. A more elite legislature
2. Reward for faithful service
3. Delivery of votes
4. Financial help
5. Decreased accessibility to politicians
6. Less Democracy
Boo.

The Van Halen Reunion. I really couldn't care less. I always found David Lee Roth slightly amusing and the video to California Girls features some nice boobies, but I was never that big a fan of the band.
I still thought Sammy Haggar was the lead singer. (Okay that was only sort of a joke.)
Anyway they were in town and it affected me not at all.

The Leafs Nation. Are you kidding me? Where did that phrase come from and why is Andy Frost saying it like he invented it.( Is there an easier Radio gig than Leaf's Talk? "Go ahead Vito in Woodbridge" "Yah Andy I agree with you about what you said!" "Thanks, next caller Gino in Woodbridge....")
Anyway as far as my memory serves me (and it doesn't most of the time) Andrew Krystal used to call his listeners "Mojo Nation" when he was doing his excellent talk show on the old 640. (You know when it was a fun station.)
Anyway somewhere along the line Leaf Nation was co-opted and whenever I hear it bandied about I always think of Krystal and how pissed he must be at having been ripped off.
Having said all that, I don't give a crap about it.

I've never watched Lost, Desperate Housewives, Heroes, House(although my Brother Steve raves about it), Grey's Anatomy, ER(used to, haven't in the 2000's) Singing Bee, the other lyrics show or My Name is Earl. There are too many shows and not enough hours or space on my PVR. I find the PVR has allowed me to really only watch what I want when I want.
If they came to take everything away I'd bury my PVR in the backyard and come back in the middle of the night and dig it up. Yes I would.

Finally I don't give a crap about the referendum on voting in Ontario. I don't know who asked for this but it wasn't me. Mainly I'm like you and I have only the vaguest of ideas what the deal is.
First past the post or the representation by population or percentage of ????
All I know is the old way may be imperfect but at least the knuckleheads are actually voted in by us as opposed to the new way where some are voted in and some are appointed by other knuckleheads. That way can't be good.

I love YouTube. I was searching for something I read about called "Mini-sodes," basically minature clips of TV shows edited down to 3-5 minute episodes, when I came stumbled across something much better.
A video of a Dog trying to mount another dog, getting bored with that and taking matters into his own paws.

You know if keeps doing that he'll go blind. I mean he's already grown hair on his hands.

Sometimes a tie is a victory and last nights hard fought sister-kiss against Team Red was just that.
A moral and psychological victory.
Inside an Oakville Sport's Dome that was over 40 Celsius the Gold squad refused to lose and that my friends is what winners do.

Lead by our arch rivals (and friends) Rob and Ed, Team Red showed up with a full compliment of players, while our side was 5 players short! That's right, one goalie, 5 on the field and one sub for the whole game, while Rob and Ed somehow bribed/threatened their girls to show up on Thanksgiving Monday. Coach Marc and I don't roll that way.
It was crazy hot in the arena.Coach Ed was perspiring so much he looked like he'd just had a shower. In fact I had to caution the girls to stay away from him least they get contaminated with some Ed-Sweat. As alway Coach Rob was cool but shifty.

We came out early and took the lead on some fine goals and got outstanding net-minding from Rhianna who for some reason I kept calling Brianna.
In the second half Red tied the game, then took the lead and had us down by two goals with only minutes to play and oops Rhianna(not Brianna) pops one in, then the Gabster and Oh the game is Tied and it's over!
The crowd goes wild and Team Gold's undefeated season lives on.( Okay two games but it's something.)

Game Notes:
There was a controversial goal which I had to call back. Oh I forget to mention that I reffed the first half while the Sweat Monster Ed, called the second. It was the right call-live with it.

Coach Marc and I are the Scotty Bowman's of Girls U14/15 indoor soccer. I mean we only had 7 players and we tied Team Red. Good Lord talk about being out-coached.

I found this on the dagnabbit intranet and it reminded me of those dot pictures. Remember those?
You'd stare into a page of dots and a tractor would appear? I hardly ever saw the tractor or the mother holding a baby or the duck wearing a smoking jacket or whatever.
I think it's because I'm color blind and all I see are dots.

I have to have my Aviation Medical this week which includes a pretty extensive eye exam and they test your level of color competency. Last time I failed that part so badly a Doctor from Transport Canada called to find out how I could be so color blind and still see the Vasi/Pappi lights on the side of the runway. (They tell you if your too high or too low. Of course the easy way to tell if your too high is if your watching According to Jim and laughing, but that's another story!)
Anyway I passed the medical but I still can't look at the dot pictures and see anything but dots.
Yes I know you see a naked women holding a jar of pickles but that's because you're special and I'm color blind.

No food for 11 days. Including ThanksGiving. I'm not crapping ya. (I have been crapping but I'd rather not go into it thanks anyway. Very ahem, fluid situation.)

I wrote about this last week and it's been quite a journey for Randee and I. Today it's over.
We don't go rushing back to food though. There's a couple of days of coming down in the form of orange juice, then vegetable soup broth, then the soup including the veggies then by day 3-4 your back on normal food.

How do I feel?
Lighter. Different. Sleeping better-deeper. Not as groggy, logy or worn out.
I know it sounds crazy but we haven't eaten solid food in 11 days and it's been pretty easy.
Sure it's been weird. We were at a huge ThanksGiving dinner at my in-laws and I made the
gravy, carved the turkey then sat down at the table and had a cup of tea. No I wasn't going nuts.
Yes, it was very odd.
Odd that the food didn't affect me or Randee. It wasn't an issue.

Over the past week and a half it seems very puzzling to people that a person can go without food but the #1 question surrounds coffee!
"I could never give up coffee," is something I must have heard a hundred times.
I hear ya, but really it was simple. I had a slight headache day 2 and then no problem.

I will be trying not to go back to coffee right away and I'm going to start watching what I eat a bit more. Maybe I won't have 2 giant glasses of red wine with supper every night and oh I don't know, maybe I'll stop ordering Poutine at the movies for a while. (Dang the French, why did they invent this palate pleaser and why does it have to be so freaking good?)

I would recommend this for anyone who is looking for a system re-boot. That's how I feel. It's like
I've cleaned out a few files and organized my desktop. (Believe me some of those file weren't pretty!)
In case your interested I lost nearly 12 pounds.
In case your curious go here.

Still running around today as well. Normal drivel delivery should resume next week.
just wanted to say from the management and staff of Hhdotcom, all the best for this pleasant long holiday weekend.
Happy Thanks and it's friend Giving.
H

I have a bunch of stuff to do today so the bulk of the Bloggage may have to wait. Maybe until mid-morning Friday.

Couple of quick things.
Leaf Fans deserve better. That's all. Yes I love to hate the team but my friends are fans and I feel for them. Having said that, I'll be at the game with a bunch of Hab fans Saturday night and that should be fun. Two mediocre teams with lots of history.

This is day 7 since I've eaten solid food. The Master Cleanse thing I wrote about earlier.
Day 7 is supposedly a big toxin dump day.(Excuse the expression. Don't ask you really don't want to know.)
I feel great and I can't believe I haven't eaten, had coffee, wine-nothing for a week. 3 more days to go. Thanksgiving should be interesting.
"More lemonade/maple syrup/cayanne pepper? No I'm stuffed."

Jerry Seinfeld returns to Thursday night with a guest spot on the very clever 30 Rock.
It's been 9 years since the end of his show. 9 freaking years? I find that hard to believe.
30 Rock is one of those show that you will dig but you have to give it a couple of episodes to catch on to it's loopiness.

The benefits of not-working.
Days like today are a great reminder to me as to how lucky I am to be in the position I'm in.
(Not working, not having to.)
Not all days are that great. I have periods of worry and stress, sometimes Tiger loses, that type of thing and then I remember that I have time with my kids that I never would have if I'd been getting up at 3am.
Today.
6:30 am: soon to be 13 year crawls into bed for cuddles. (This is same girl who likes me to drop her off a 1/2 block from the school bus due to the massive DEF. Dad Embarrassment Factor)
7:00 am: 9 year old brings dog and crawls into bed for cuddles.
7:45 am: Hang with kids while they get ready for school.
8:10 am: Have long detailed discussion about how much alpha-getty should go into the lunch thermos and how much should be left-over in the bowl to taste. 9 year old has dizzying theories on the subject. Trust me.
8:25 am: Read paper, Spencer plays on computer, dog sleeps.
8:40 am: Take daughter to school bus, discuss school bus speeds and her ability to stay at bus stop with other kids.
8:45 am: Home alone. Counting the minutes till they come back from school again.
10:00am:Write Blog, remember how lucky I am.

It's a big night for Booner. Leafs are on the verge of another Stanly Cup winning season, just like the one they had 40 odd years ago.
Can't ya feel it?
Of course in order to go undefeated you have to win the first game and unfortunately that's against the Ottawa Senators, Canada's Team of Destiny.
Oops.
The papers are taking about the Leafs maybe making the playoffs this year and for my Leaf-Fan friends like Mike, I hope so.
I went to MB's site today as always to see what Leaf drivel he'd have in store and I came across this.

He also had an interesting piece I'd heard about concerning the price of prime-time commercial.

Yes for all your Mike Boon needs go to www.MikeBoon.com.
Then of course come back here.

Just one thing, as I said yesterday, this is the end of John Tory. There is no way to avoid the flip-flopper image and this is a big flip-flop. No matter how the PC's are trying to spin it and no matter how big a promise-breaker Dalton McGuinty is.
That's all I have to say about it. Honest.

Okay just one more thing. John Tory should be the next Premier of this province but he won't and when he loses I think he'll be done with the whole mess.
He's too cool a dude to be "Leader of the Opposition." That's a chumps job for a guy like John.
It's too bad too.
Guys like John Tory are the best and brightest and typically avoid the crap and scrutiny of politics.
I like him(he sent me a note when I got canned.)
I like his kid.(We've gone flying together.)

I'm betting we won't have JT to kick around much longer if he lose the big gig.
Unfortunately the whole faith-based funding thing will be his swan song.
That's the last thing on it. I promise.
Okay, maybe just a Dalton-promise.

( I caution you that this is only my opinion. Do not do this and die because you read it here. Please.)

I am on The Master Cleanse. Randee too. Eat nothing but drink 6-10 glasses of lemon/maple syrup and cayenne pepper a day.
Basically it's a way to rid your body of toxins and clean out your system. It is not a diet although some weight loss is inevitable.
It is a fast/detox combo invented by Stanly Burroughs, that people have been doing for years with amazing results.
My pal Fraser did it and I've been thinking about doing it for some time.

The past year I've been really eating and drinking too much. Too much crap, too much beer and too many helpings.
It was time to give my system a re-boot and that's what this does.
No food for 10 days(some people do it for 20,30 or 40 days.) and then a 3-4 day weening period.

Today is day 5. I haven't eaten since last Thursday and I must say I feel fine. The first couple of days were a bit weird, I had a headache and felt a little tired, but since then it's been great.
I think the headache was from no coffee and the weirdness was from the fact that so much of our lives revolve around meals.

The lemon-aid gives you all the vitamins and nutrients your body needs and so far so good.
If you want more info on this thing here's the site.
Randee's doing well and we're trying to get through this together. She says she misses chewing. I told her I had some idea how she might take care of that but only if she chewed very gently.
(Yes that was a dick joke.)

I'll let you know how it goes but I warn you to try this at your own risk. Remember I'm not really a Doctor I just think I am.

That's right I'm coaching indoor soccer again. Okay, so what?
A guy can coach indoor soccer can't he?
I love it that's the truth.

I love hanging out with my daughter and yelling stupid stuff from the bench.
"Kick the ball to one of our players!"
"Hey ref what's with all the whistles?"
That kind of junk.

Last night was game 1 of the new season and it was a doozey.(Yes a full-blown doozy.)
All the girls showed up on time and no one wanked about the sweater sizes or numbers. Good start.
We have some dang good players and we took it to Team Teal fast and early.
Up 5-2 at the half, Charlie G in net stopped a bunch of close chances and sprained two of her fingers. Good girl.
Gabby G popped in three and then spent the second half playing the kind of goal the Maple Craps can only dream of.
Clair A and Hilary H also had some goals and another girl too but I can't remember who. I'm just learning everyone's names, although this year it will be easier because I only have one Rachel and no Nicoles.( I miss one of them!)

Game Notes:
1) Besides Charlie's jammed fingers, one of the other girls got a ball in the face and a bloody nose. I of course took control of the situation and promptly delivered her to her mommy.
2) The other coach sounded exactly like Shrek. He kept saying "Well played" and it sounded like he was saying, "Good Donkey!"

Next up, our arch rivals Team Red coached by the very clever duo of Rob and Ed. They have experience and strategy we have good looks and guile.(Look it up Ed!)
I predict we'll go undefeated.

In case you missed it, Woody Austin fell in the water on the weekend at the President's Cup.
Unbelievable.
He goes in, gets' soaked and then birdies the next three holes in a row. This will finally replace the Woody highlight reel where he bends a putter over his head.

Finally thanks to Thatmasonkid for sending me this link to Letterman's Paris Hilton interview.
Priceless.
Just read that once again Leno out rates Letterman 5.5 million viewers to 4 and I just don't get it.
Loved Leno as a comic, can't stand him doing the talk-show thing.
Oh well, that'll soon be Conan's job.
Anyway, here's the interview. Yes she's smoking hot but she so freaking stupid she makes the chick from the View seem like Einstein.

Well that'll just about do it.
John Tory has all but conceded the election to MCG by hinting that he would put The Issue on the "back-burner" (where all controversial policies go to die...) for now.

I think that's the wrong thing to do strategically because he's all but saying, "I'm already breaking a promise before I'm even elected!" (Remember he said he'd go ahead with the funding "on principle!")
Wow.
That's something not even Dalton I-never-met-a-promise-I-couldn't-break McGuinty has even done.
The Liberals will jump all over this, the Conservatives will look weak and the NDP will be whatever the NDP is.

The problem is Tory is being forced to back away from this issue cause because of the elephant in the room.
The issue isn't about funding faith-based schools or building tolerance and a sense of diversity amongst our children in the public system, which is what the Liberals blather on about.
The issue is the unfairness of the Catholic school board and the ability of one religion over another to have access to their faith-based education.
That's the elephant that no one, not even the Conservatives want to address.
Except the Green Party.
At a debate that John Tory was at yesterday, Green Party candidate Adrian Walker got a huge cheer by calling for One publicly funded school system.
Thats the real deal but no one but the Green Guy would have the nuts to say it.

Oh well, enjoy 3-4 more years of Dalton while John Tory leaves politics to go run another huge conglomerate successfully.
Citizens always get the government they deserve. Unfortunately.

That may be one of the great days in Canadian sport, certainly in Golf. Weir beat Woods and it was awesome. Sure the US won the Presidents Cup but that was a done deal by Saturday night, Sunday was all about Mike Weir.
If you saw you couldn't help but be proud, proud of him, of the galleries and of the spirit of competition. Plus it was cool seeing the little guy take it to Tiger. (And remember I love Tiger!)
It was the perfect stage. In Canada, our best against maybe the best ever.
It couldn't have been a better way to win.

Up early in the match, then Tiger comes storming back and then goes up on Mike and then Weir hangs tough and prevails in the end.
When it was over I had goosebumps. Everyone who watched it did.
Tiger gave Weir a hug and told him how proud of him he was at handling all the pressures of the week, being a captains pick, unofficial host and playing in front of his home country.
This is a day Canadian golf fans will remember for a long time. Like the day Mike won the Masters.
The only thing that could top it is when he wins The Canadian Open, which judging by his play yesterday, could be sooner than later.

Quick Notes:
Who ever told those idiots that yelling "Get in the Hole!" every time someone hits was a good idea, was freaking dead wrong. "Get in the Hole" has replaced "Your the Man" as the most irritating thing in golf.

Johnny Miller is the best color guy in sport. He is right on with his golf knowledge and will always say what-ever is on his mind. It was great hearing him praise Weir and talking about what a gutty competitor he is. When they showed Gary Player walking besides Mike coming up 18 Johnny said, "There goes two little guys who can flat out play!"

If your like me and you like to read different versions of the same thing, take a gander at the Weir-Woods roundup from these other sources.

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