My much-older-brother David sent me this YouTubery and it is much appreciated.
Thanks Dave.
Dave had a very good sense of humour for a guy with a very Big Brain.
Have a look and a laugh.
My buddy Dave White sent me this from one of my favorite writers Dave Barry. I don't care if you think Dave is unhip or old school(Barry not White-although White is pretty hip.) I have always liked Dave Barry cause his writing makes me laugh out loud. Which is rare when it comes to something I've read. Anyway this is dang funny and good information for those us who will one day be over 50 years old. For me that is 569 days away but who's counting. Me that's who.
This colonoscopy story was first printed in the Miami Herald back in February but through the magic of Web 2.0 I bring it to you today.
Enjoy.
Dave Barry: A journey into my colon -- and yours OK. You turned 50. You know you're supposed to get a colonoscopy. But you haven't. Here are your reasons:
1. You've been busy.
2. You don't have a history of cancer in your family.
3. You haven't noticed any problems.
4. You don't want a doctor to stick a tube 17,000 feet up your butt.
Yes I am virtually powerless when it comes to my girls. They are my favorite things in the world by far and when I'm not with them I practice saying "No!"
"No honey, you can't have a sleepover. Oh well maybe you can."
"No sweetheart, we're not going to get a dog. On second thought, sure."
"No baby, daddy can't give you a ride to the mall. Aw, why not, come hop in the car."
Recently my pal Dean from Hamilton sent me an article that says that all this Daddy/Daughter love is actually good for the girls. I know it's good for me. Attentive, loving fathers mean confident daughters She went on to give her theory that women in healthy relationships -- the kind built on trust and love and mutual commitment, as opposed to the kind built on drama and need and jealousy and greed -- are often those who had very attentive, loving dads. Dads who went to the soccer games and the piano recitals. Dads who were always watching, constantly validating. Dads who said: "You're smart. You're pretty. You're amazing. Your heart is big."
I'm at work today but I've got a couple of minutes. I thought I'd update you on Tiger's Knee.
Yes Tiger's Knee is quite the hot topic of discussion amongst us golf-nerds. Apparently it's OkeeDokee and he should be back in 6, 9, or 12 months.
Is this not one of the strangest long/not long weekends ever. Very Canadian though. Some of us got the Monday off so we had a 3 day weekend, some worked yesterday and are off today and some of us took all four days off and had long long weekend. Yes something for everyone in that quirky Canuck way.
Today is the stat though and I'm going in to work. I'm posting a couple of videos for a Microsoft conference and in Seattle neither of these days is a holiday.
At least I'll get a break on the traffic.
So Happy Canada Day and heres hoping that it doesn't rain like it did almost every freakin day in June.
And here's hoping we figure out the Canada day stat before next year when it falls on a Wednesday!
Today my oldest Charlie finishes Grade 8 and my youngest, Spencer is through with Grade 4. I find this strange, almost comical seeing as how Charlie is just 4 and Spencer is only around 3...at least in my mind.
That's how I see them. My mental image of them is often out of step with their physical manifestation. They are simply and will always be my little Baby girls. Not these grown and growing young women.
I watched Spencer in a play this past weekend and when she stepped out and sang a song on her own I had a lump in my throat. When I see Charlie play soccer, so strong and so fast and trying so hard I am proud to overflowing. How can these little Babies do so much against girls who are so much older than they are?
I wonder if the other parents see and feel the same.
Today I drove Charlie to the bus for the last time. Next year she'll walk to High School. Spencer
left the house today eager to get the final day of Grade 4 over and the Summer Holidays started.
And me, I just wish time would stand completely still or at least slow down some.
I know I'm a big suck when it comes to my kids but I can't help it.
I'm not sure if I'm too sentimental or too nostalgic but when it comes to these girls I'm too something.
I just can't imagine my kids in Grade 9 and Grade 5. I hope the other kids won't make fun of them for being 5 and 3 years old!
George Carlin died yesterday at age 71. Sad.
He was the first comic I really liked. Him, Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor. Steve Martin came later but Carlin was the one that made me think that comedy was more than just jokes.
His stuff was funny, insightful and smart. I used to listen to him and wonder how he nailed the exact phrasing so many times.
He was a genius with words and it was 7 of them that led to his rise to fame back in the early 70's.
If you've never heard the actual routine, take 7 minutes and give it a spin.
I'm sure most of you have noticed production around here has dropped considerably. I'm sorry, it's just that the real world has conspired to interrupt my drivel production.
The drivel just don't flow like it once did.
I thought I'd just give you a quick update as to what is keeping me busy these days.
In the last week I've...
Spent 14 hours over three days recording an audio book. Kinda cool.
Worked on, met with, wrote and performed for a companies AGM. Very cool.
Worked at my Producing/Directing job and prepped for a shoot.
Spent endless hours driving back and forth.
Spent many joyful hours watching my girls play soccer.
(Watched a little golf. Just a little.)
Put the finishing touches on 6 months of prepping and helping to organize the LKTYP golf tournament.
And to top it all off, my oldest has a soccer tourney this week in Bowmanville, the youngest has her drama recital thingy, I'm going to Seattle Thursday and back Friday (hanging at Microsoft headquarters....very freaking cool)...I'm hosting the Kids theatre golf on Monday, Tuesday I may be going to Austin Texas and back in the same day and Wednesday it's Charlie's grade 8 grad.
So I'm having a hard time squeezing in time for the Hhdotcom.
I promise this though, things are going to calm down this summer in some ways and I should have more time to jot down the odd inane thought. I know one thing, I'm going to have lots to write about.
Yes I know there hasn't been a lot going on here lately and when I have posted it's been a Tiger-Fest.
So here some OPC from my pal Michael K.
I don't know about you but I love a good sheep joke.
Voted the best joke in Australia
Charlie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His wife, lying in bed replies:
"I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
Charlie replies:
"I think you'll find that I was not speaking to you."
It's been a couple of days and I just want to say thanks. Thanks to all my pals and friends that have called to congratulate me and Tiger on our win.
It was beyond a shadow of doubt, the best tournament I have ever witnessed. It edged just ahead of Mike Wier's Masters win, but only just. (Yes I'm a big Weir fan too and that final round Masters that he won in the playoff was all kinds of awesome.)
Anyway I have so much to say about the golf but I'm sure your sick of hearing me break down Tiger performances. I'm also sure you've read a paper in the last couple of days.
Suffice to say it was a performance that people won't soon forget..from both Tiger and Rocco Mediate.
How bout this insight.
Rocco's twilight has been all but assured.
Often times when PGA tour players get to age 45 they struggle to keep their playing privileges while trying to stay sharp for the Senior Tour.
Well Roc won't have to worry about that. He'll be exempt for the next year and at least one more based on his career earnings and after that he'll be able to grab no end of sponsors-exemptions to ride it out until he hits the big 5-O. Good for him, he deserves it. Most of you may have just heard of him now but he's been a good guy and a great player for a long time.
Back to El Tigre.
How big a boner did Nike have running this spot all weekend. And how absolutely bang on is the content.
This is my 14th Fathers' Day.
I have 2 girls with boys names and they are both Daddy's girls.
I know this will sound sucky but I always tell them that because they are so sweet and kind and beautiful, everyday is Fathers Day. (Awwww.)
This is also my 2nd Father-less Fathers Day and I must admit the sadness of it has subsided.
When I first lost my Dad it was a sharp, constant pain that I wasn't sure was ever going to go away but now, not quite 2 years later, it's faded.
Every once in a while I get a bit of pain that comes out of nowhere and catches me by surprise but for the most part I'm okay with it.
I connect with my Dad through golf. So many of my memories of him have to do with learning, watching and talking golf that I can't even pick up a club without thinking about some tip my Father gave me over the years.
Watching Tiger is part of that. My Dad was a big Tiger fan and I know he would have loved seeing him play this weekend.
So today, I'll sit and watch the Open, the girls will leave me in peace (my Fathers day gift!) and I'll think of my Father and all the Golf we used to share.
Happy Fathers Day.
I've never seen anything like it.
I've been watching Tiger Woods play since the 1995 US Amateur, seen some remarkable things but this was definitely one for the highlight reel.
He's hobbling on a bad knee that even he admits is getting worse every day, he hasn't played in 2 months and he's leading the US Open. Are you kidding me?
That's what they were saying last night when he sank a 60 foot putt for eagle, not to be confused with the goofy chip-in for birdie and then another eagle on the last hole.
He has never lost with the lead in a major but I'll tell you something, I don't care if he wins anymore.
I don't.
He has already provided me with enough thrills and excitement and if he coughs it up or can't close today I won't care.
He is without a doubt a the best player to come along in forever and I will be watching him until he can't play anymore.
He not only has more heart and more stones than any other golfer but he's among the most phenomenal athletes of our time. Don't believe me, ask Michael Jordan or Roger Federer.
If you watched the prime time coverage you have to agree.
He starts by making a double and a bogey in the first 4 holes and instead of quiting he fights back.
Then he starts to put pressure on his knee and almost collapses in pain but finishes 4 under the last 6 holes.
Finally with the whole golf-world waiting he drains 2 ridiculous putts and once again meets and exceeds the already high expectations.
Anyone but Tiger would have thrown in the towel but today he has a chance to win major number 14.
An Athlete said something stupid. Wow, that never happens!
Even Tiger Woods.
Considering the sheer ton of press this dude gets, and the amount of questions he has to answer, this was pretty mild. I mean haven't we all heard, baseball, football, basketball and yes, even hockey players trip up from time to time?
SAN DIEGO -- Tiger Woods admitted yesterday he's had to keep his head up ever since he slammed hockey a week ago, suggesting nobody watches it anymore.
"Oh yeah, I've gotten a lot of grief over that," smiled Woods yesterday, backpedalling somewhat after a fallout that included angry responses from hockey fans and commentators north of the border.
"I love the sport. I love watching it, but I don't like watching it on TV," Woods said. "In person, it's absolutely incredible what they're able to do. TV doesn't do justice to that. But then, a lot of sports are the same way.
"It is what it is. I said what I said and I was trying to be funny about it, but people didn't perceive it that way."
Don't kid yourself, Tiger Woods is ready to play.
Forget the knee, yeah it's tender but he's able to adjust better than any golfer that's ever played.
Period.
The U.S. Open starts Thursday and despite not playing in 2 months and his third knee surgery, he's still the favorite.
What I find most interesting about TW is the way other golfers talk about him. "He's the ultimate champion from start to finish, on the golf course and off the golf course. There's no doubt about it I'd pay to watch him play."
I just can't see a better player make adjustments easier than Tiger," Mickelson said. "I just don't think it will be a problem."
"It's like Big Brown," said Sergio Garcia, who won THE PLAYERS Championship last month. "With a crack, he was still the favorite."
"He'll be fine, don't worry," Masters champion Trevor Immelman said with a knowing smile.
Immelman speculated that all of the fans who come to Torrey Pines on Thursday and Friday -- not just 75 percent as the reporter suggested -- will be following Woods, Phil Mickelson and Adam Scott in the featured pairing for the first two rounds.
"I would pay to watch Tiger play golf, absolutely," Immelman said. "He's something we may never see again. But the thing about him that I find more incredible is the way that he handles everything that goes on around him and the grace at which he handles things. The way he treats people around him.
Yes it's another Major and of course I want Tiger to win. As I always say it's cool for me when he's in contention, as he was at the Masters, even if he doesn't win. He just makes it more interesting.
I'll be watching as I always do and on Sunday, Father's day, I'll be thinking about my Father and how he and I loved to talk about Tiger and his game.
And incidentally, I don't care that Tiger thinks that no one cares about hockey.
