I miss my kids in the morning.
For the past 2 years while I was in Radio Exile, I got to be part of the girls and momma's life in the morning.
I loved it.
Of course I had no idea of the chaos that goes on getting everyone up, cleaned, fed, homework gathered and out the door. And of course all the yelling and aggravation.
Now I know why my wife use to get pissed at me when I'd call her at home during my show.
"Honey, what can I do for you?" She'd say.
"Hey put on one of the girls, we can do a bit!"
I get it now. Those minutes between wake-up and out the door are hectic for all families and because of my time at home I now know why.
I miss it. I'm not saying I want to go back to it anytime soon, but I kinda dug it.
Maybe the next time I get fired my kids will be in university and I won't have to wake-up and drive them. Although I would if they wanted.
The last few weeks have been ridonkulously busy. Fun busy, but busy nonetheless.
I spent a good part of last week doing some work and getting ready for the biggest party Randee and I ever attempted.
You know when you have to get the house and yard in "people are coming over" shape? Lot's of grunt work(me) lot's of planning and shopping(Randee) and lot's of just making sure everything is in order.(us)
Thursday.
I shot a movie. Acted in, not directed. Small, one day part but lots of dialogue and a full 9 hours on set. I love movie set food and craft services and exotic make-up and hair chicks fussing over me. (I need a lot of attention just to look semi-normal!)
I don't know when this film will be released, but it was a great experience and I wish I could do more stuff like it.(Either in front or behind the cameras.)
Friday.
Party at my house-45 people. Shrimp, bacon-wrapped scallops, pork ribs and festive lights strung around our backyard. Yes it was the gift of Oakville Jewish Xmas in July.
It was a blast. We were celebrating and having a great time and much merry was made and lot's of beer and wine consumed.
Plus some Tequilla and Vodka. And Champagne.
No causalities mind you and no one got thrown in the pool.
Saturday.
American Idols on Tour at the ACC.
Holy Joe I'm tired. Partied last night, not enough sleep and now I'm in the worst seats in the joint straining to catch a glimpse of Christie Lee Crap.
We paid 400 bucks to sit near the rafters and the place is packed out.
Top ten from Idol and the whole thing lasts 3 hours.
Highlight? David Cook. The guy has chops and actually earns an encore.
Lowlight? Walking up Mount ACC to get to the highest point in the building. We stop at base camp to acclimatize ourselves and Sherpas give us oxygen and guide us the last couple hundred feet to our seats.
Other low? Eating at the Air Canada Club before the show and paying 29 dollars for a hamburger. I'm not crapping you.
Sunday.
Golf in the morning.(played shite), watched a bit of the Canadian Open in the afternoon and we had some friends over with their kids for swimming and dinner in the evening.
We haven't seen this couple in a while but we really like them and had a fine time catching up.
Randee and I are actually responsible for them meeting and getting married. Seriously.
She was a friend of Randees from Montreal and I met him when he was Doctoring in Moose Jaw.( A Jewish Doctor in Moose Jaw?-Long story...)
We invited them both to a party at our place like 17 years ago and that's that.
Strange how these things turns out and now they've just celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary and they've got 2 beautiful children.
So that's what I've been up to.
I know none of it's too funny or earth-shattering but I thought I'd bring you up to date.
In the next week or so I'll check in from time to time. Today I'm hosting The Markham-Stouville Hospital Charity Golf Tournament for the 3rd or 4th year and then I'll be downtown for a couple of days.
I promise there will be some cool stuff coming in the next little while.
I'm doing this again. The Master Cleanse thingy that Randee and I did in October.
I won't recommend it because I'm not a Doctor and I don't want your colon on my conscience but I know it worked for me.
10 days, no food, lots of poos, nothing but lemon, maple syrup and cayenne pepper.
1 survivor.
This past weekend internet genius Mike Boon dropped over for eggs and coffee. He didn't touch the goat cheese cause his tastes are very old school. Except when it comes to the web. Boon knows his crap and is always good for some Hhdotcom info. We talked about rebuilding this site for 08, the sucky Leafs, the Raptors and how Boston is the best/luckiest sports town on earth.
Boon then left and worked on sprucing up his site...have a look here.
I have another busy week on the way. I'll be meeting in Oakville about performing some stand up, doing some re-writes on my Debators stuff, working at my new gig at ACME pictures and a couple of meetings at the LKTYP. I will also be promoting my book Thursday on Mississauga Cable and driving downtown every day but Monday. Maybe I shouldn't complain about having nothing to do.
Finally I'm pretty excited over something that happened last Thursday. I can't go into too much detail but Insight Productions(Canadian Idol, Deal or no Deal, Canadian 5th Grader and a million other shows) and me have signed a deal to develop, pitch and co-produce a show.
No I wont' be the host.
Yes, this could be huge.
Of course it could also go nowhere.
These things are long shots but the people at Insight are the best in the business and I'm just thrilled that they liked my idea enough to take it this far.
That's all I can say. If we sell it you'll hear about then, if we don't I'd like to offer my services cleaning your driveway this winter.
Posted by Humble on November 5, 2007 @ 08:27|Permalink
Some Beauty Shots.
I was looking at some shots of the cottage today and I thought I'd be even more self-indulgent than usual and show off some of my favorite pics.
A couple of the girls and then one of an amazing sky over the lake. Charlie looking way too mature!
Spencer applying lipgloss with a face full of tomato sauce.
HAG, those are my initials. My middle name is Allen, though I'm not sure how it's spelled. I know it's on my birth certificate, it could just as easily be Allan. I'm too lazy to go and check.
Charlie had a soccer game the other night in Brampton at Chingcouzy park. Oh my goodness what an amazing facility.
Football, Baseball, Track, Tennis, Swimming, Soccer all in one location.
I've never seen anything like it. It blew me away. I'd heard about it over the years from Freddy P but I'd never been until the other night. I wish our community had a place like it, I'm sure all towns do.
As for the game, Oakville won 4-1, including a nice goal from Charlie G and our girls were told to F-off and given the finger by more than one parent on the Brams side. Nice.
One girl was threatened by a parent and most of the other kids were verbally abused at one time or another.
That also blew me away as I have never seen any other parents of any team we've ever played act like that.
Too bad. Great facility, bad sportsmanship.
45 minutes to change a light bulb. True.
My friend Dan Duran always says that no matter what job your doing around the house, it will always take twice as long to fix as you think.
Well how long does it take to change a light bulb?
1) Attempt to remove old light bulb. Glass part comes off, metal part stays.
2) While trying to turn metal part, chards of burnt bulb rain down around me. Light fixture comes apart.
3) Try and replace fixture, fixture comes off the ceiling.
4) Fixture has two tiny nuts that won't go back in.
5) Finally get fixture back on ceiling and put fixture back together.
6) Put in new bulb, turn light on.
7) Move on with life.
Finally, Randee went to the Beyonce show last night at the ACC and much to my disappointment, did not bring Beyonce home with her.
Damm, now I've gone and waxed my nether-regions for nothing!
Item #1.
Buy stock in Alpha-Getty. Or Stars or whatever they're called.
My 9 year-old eats a ton of these things and so I'm guessing they're doing okay.
We can't be the only people buying them.
Dang, maybe I should start selling them on the street along with my Pappa Doms.
Item #2.
Pinball Clemmons is the nicest guy on the planet. Seriously. Nicer than the Pope or Ryan Seacrest.
I was driving Charlie home from Soccer practice Saturday morning and I saw the Pinner spreading some soil out in front of his house. He and I have known each other through my various programs for most of the last 17 years but still the greeting he gave me was very touching.
I stopped my car and said something like, "Hey Coach, don't you have some rookies to do that for you!"
Well it was as if I was a long lost family member. He hugged me, laughed, hugged me some more and then invited me and Charlie in to hang with his family.
We said no thanks but it wasn't a hollow invitation. He would have taken us in, fed us, bathed us and tucked us into bed.
He's really a unique human. He has the ability to make everybody he meets feel like his best friend. That's why he is this city's most popular sports guy hands down.
He could be Mayor. Easy.
Item #3.
Charlie finally scored.
I haven't talked much about Charlie's soccer this summer. It's been intense. She has been playing at a much higher level than ever before and it's been interesting to watch.
She made this team in soccer-crazy Oakville and it's practice, conditioning, more practice and games and it's been quite the learning curve.
Well last night she finally scored and man was she beaming. I thought she might cry. I almost did.
She told me later that she was horrified that I might take my shirt off and run onto the field.
I was thinking about it. Then I remembered that I'm a doughy-fat middle-aged guy with graying chest hair and nobody needs to see that.
Item Last.
Golf with my Mother-in-law.
I'm playing with my Mother-in-law today and you know as these things go it won't be too bad.
A) She's got some game.
B) She knows the rules.
C) She plays fast.
That's all I look for in a golfing partner. The only down-side?
She supplies non-stop commentary before, during and after every shot she hits.
I'm not kidding.
"Okay, here's a shot I just have to move it down the fairway-(smack) okay there it goes and I'll be in perfect position and that's fine. I'm just happy to be out"(Etc, etc, etc, etc-seriously etc, etc,)
I'm fine with it though. After all she is the best, most sweet and kind Mother-in-law a guy could hope for. (and she reads this blog everyday!)
My 9 year old has started calling me Howard.
"Howard," She'll say, "Can we go to Nancy Drew today?"
"Howard, can you teach me an E chord on the guitar?"
"Spencer stop calling me Howard."
"Okay Howard."
And so it goes. She and I are going to see Nancy Drew today and then tonight I'm going to take in Die Hard 4.
Speaking of movies Ben Kingsly, one of my favorite actor types, is staring in a new flick called You Kill Me.
It's about a mob hit man that has to go into rehab so that he can get back into the business of killing people. Supposed to be very funny.
Here's the Trailer.
Hmmm, maybe I'll see this before Die Hard or instead of Nancy Drew.
"Howard, what's a Hit Man?"
I'm also taking Charlie and her pals to a mall. That's what I do. I drive girls to place and then give them money. I've said this before, at this stage of parent-hood I'm like a mobile ATM machine.
Drive, stop, dispense money.
The end of the innocence.
Last night I came home and Charlie had lost her last baby tooth.
I said can we skip the Tooth Fairy thing and I'll just give you ten bucks.
She looked at me with those sweet brown eyes and for a moment I thought she was crushed that we were no longer going to put the money under her pillow in place of her tooth.
Then I realized that it was the "Only Ten Bucks" look.
I have to apologize but it's been too busy in my little world to pass on much HhDotcom drivel.
The last couple of days have been about average in terms of Drivel-Output, (I try for around 4 entries a day) but today and Friday will be weaker.
Today I've been invited to play in a Mens Member-guest golf thing at my pal Fraser's golf joint.
These things are a lot of fun but the practice round and dinner were yesterday and I woke up too late to pump-drivel and today the real round is on and I have to be there for breakfast.
So the drivel output is going to suffer.
I will have some new crap Friday but maybe a little less.
I am also working on some things and may have a cool announcement for you HhDotcom regular readers in the next couple of weeks or so.
Who knows, the long weekend may finally be coming to an end!
Adios muchachos.
h
I haven't been flying lately cause our plane has a gear issue. This is the type of thing on a plane you want working most of the time cause it's just more convenient to land with the gear down.
It's being fixed along with a bunch of other things that need attending to. Bottom line: Going to Ottawa to golf for a couple of days tomorrow and Driving not Flying.
I've been hitting a few golf balls recently. No, I'm not going back to the Crack of Sports but I do enjoy the range (Crack house) and I'll try and play once a week or so. I just know I'll never take it seriously enough to torture my clubs or lay awake at night going over each and every shot.
Besides I have enough to worry about at night without golf.
Between Charlie and Spencer there are 6 soccer occasions a week these days. Charlie 4, Spencer 2. Plus all the other kid stuff. I love watching both of them play but I have to miss the practices and events that overlap games.
Last night, I was at Spencer's singing recital. The only thing more excruciating than watching soccer when your kids are not on the field, is watching other people kids sing.
Finally Tiger.
Tiger will win the U.S. Open this week. (Really How-man, you think so? That's odd, you picking Tiger.)
Phil's wrist is hurting, Vijay is getting old, and nobody from Europe has won a Major since they used to lose every Ryder Cup.
So that leaves a few Aussies, Mike Weir and Tiger.
An Aussies won last year so that won't happen, Mike Weir is due to start playing better but not this week so in the end it's just Tiger. Who, by the way, has been sucking his last 2 tournaments. But those weren't Majors and he wins nearly 25% of the time he plays.
So Tiger it is unless of course it isn't.
Yesterday I hosted a Golf tournament for Mining Matters, a huge mining industry charity thing.
Great people and about 50 grand raised in one day, which is a nice first year. I was a last minute ask so I didn't get to play I only had to show up in Newmarket, Mc the dinner and go home.
I was actually grateful getting to avoid the 6 hour 15 minute scramble round. Those are fun.
Today I'm playing golf for second time this year. For those of you who know me you know how weird that it.
I don't know, up til now I haven't really wanted to play, then I went out and hit balls a couple of times and I sort of got the taste back a bit.
No I'm not going to start hitting a thousand balls a week again but I think I could see myself playing once a week or so and that would be fine.
ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT
Quick Golf Tip for you to try this weekend.
If you slice the ball here's an idea Aim Left. I know that's sounds simple and obvious but I've played with thousands of people who hit giant fades that gust to slices that keep ending up in the right hand trees/water/bio-hazards.
During the round is no time to fix it so Aim Left-er. Try it. This Alert is over. Now let's resume the Drivel.
On Sunday I'm going to have a chance at a Million dollars. Sort of. Seriously.
Every year this company called The Million Dollar Challenge goes around to driving ranges and helps raise money for charities by giving people a chance a Million bucks.
You buy like 10 balls for 10 bucks and hit to a green and each day the top 10 qualify to come back for the finals on Sunday. A couple of days ago I went over and hit one 4 feet, won some prize and got my ticket to semis.
A few years ago I got to the finals where you get one ball and one chance at the money.
It was cool.
Of course I missed but hey you never know. I've been golfing for the better part of 30 years and never had a hole-in-one so maybe Sunday's the day.
If I win I'll buy you all a beer.
It was about 5 months ago I was asked to be part of something called The Festival of Words in my hometown of Moose Jaw. At the time it seems liked years away but now it's around the corner.
It's a very cool gathering of writers and artists that I really have no business being part of.
For me I'm just happy to be going back to the Jaw to get all sentimental and nostalgic and to hang out with Murry McLaughlin. Check it out here.
This time that I've been out of work has been stressful, I won't lie. But the most amazing thing about being out of work is the time I've spent with my girls. Yes you too Randee. I was always the Dad who was around but was too tired later in the day to do anything.(Getting up at 3:15 make you very groggy after 6pm.)
Now I'm the Dad who can stay awake till everyones bedtime. Wow.
I'm also the Dad who drives them and their friends everywhere cause the other Dads have to go to their "silly old jobs." I'm happy to do it and is definitely a big plus, which helps balance the big minus of not having a gig.
Speaking of which. The following conversation took place between my friends hot wife Angela and her daughter while they were listening to the Radio.
Daughter: Mommy what is Howard doing these days that he's not on the Radio anymore.
HOTWA: Well honey, he's not doing much of anything. He's promoting a book and trying to stay in his happy place.(That last part was mine.)
Daughter: Cause Mommy I saw a sign in Baskin and Robbins that they are looking for help. Maybe he could work there.
HOTWA: Aw that's sweet I'll let him know.
Thanks for that tip Hot Wife Angela. I've got no problems slinging ice cream. I'd just be worried that I'd blow up even fatter than I already am.
Well got to go. I've got to get my demo tape off to B+A before someone else gets the gig.
If your a parent no doubt you're familiar with the Harry Potter characters. Some of my fondest memories are of reading my oldest Harry Potter books at bedtime. When she was young I would read pages ahead to determine if the content would be too scary.
I loved the books too. And the movies.
Spencer, our 9 year-old has seen all the films and found this YouTube parody for me.
Very odd. Much like her.
Spencer's got a very grown up sense of humour (despite how infantile this video is) and when I told her the American Idol Finale was going to be 2 hours she said, "Two hours! What do they need two hours for? She wins, he loses, goodnight!"
She gets her timing from her mother.
Go Raptors Go.
Having a team in the playoffs is cool. Even though I won't likely sit down to watch I'm hoping they win cause it's more fun than losing.
I remember when the Leafs were in the playoffs beating Ottawa all the time and even for a non-Leaf fan it was pretty exciting.
Yesterday I met a women who reads peoples faces. She was on the Gil Deacon show and backstage she looked at my eyebrows and told me I had a very busy mind.
Really? Genius.
She also said that since my eyebrow hair grows in all different directions it's hard for me to focus on any one thing. Come on! You can get all of that from my eyebrow hair?
If she'd of had more time I could have showed her my ear-hair, nose-hair and that weird wolverine-bush that's been developing around my lower back.
"You have an active mind and could use a little waxing..."
Tiger's playing golf this weekend. It's a non-major, non-WGC (World Golf Championship) and I won't watch it until Sunday afternoon.
I find that I've lost a lot of interest in a game that used to be my obsession, even when El Tigre is playing.
Strange how that is.
People tell me I'll come back to it someday and maybe they're right. I mean I've been obsessed with touchy-selfy since I was a kid and I haven't lost interest in that.
Too much information.?
Weekend To Do List:
Cut grass.
Talk to neighbor in front about dieing tree.
Talk to neighbor in back about their not allowing Spencer on their property.(Long story-maybe later.)
Go eat ribs at Dave's.
Drive kids here.
Drive kids there.
While driving older kid try to be invisible, or at the least try not to embarrass her.
Fail at that last part.
By far the most response I've gotten lately is to this entry.
Several folks told me it made them cry. Me too. Sorry bout that but this getting-over-a parents-death thing ain't easy.
I had a lot of very poignant and personal messages from people and I appreciate it. Yes I guess misery and grief love company and I'm glad to be keeping such well-meaning and supportive company at that.
Here's was a typical note.
Howard; I know exactly how you feel. I lost my mom 3 years ago this month and a day doesn't go by that i don't think about her, hear her voice, miss her...
The good news is that the grief does subside and you are left with all the wonderful memories. i realized the day my mom died that my life would never be the same again; its not but i'm still the person i am and better for her having raised me. i treasure our lives together and she's with me always in spirit. your dad will be with you also. in the meantime; you have my support and sympathy.
I'm feeling pretty good this week. Maybe keeping busy or the sun or going flying helps me to take my mind off of things. Maybe getting past another milestone(6 month anniversary) helps too.
Thanks again to all you nice folks who sent me notes. Now, lets' get back to the juvenile content.
My camera's fixed. I was trying to take some pictures of our dogs stupid haircut and I dropped it on the floor and jammed the lens. Apparently this is fairly typical and not too expensive to repair. The problem with these digital cameras (mines a Cannon 530) is they have become so inexpensive that in some cases replacing them is cheaper than repair. The cost of my unit (camera) is about 130 less in less than a year. Seriously. At any rate here finally, is a shot of Tucker and the worlds stupidest dog haircut.
See the body was shaved and they left the head all shaggy-like and it's thrown him into some kind of doggy-depression. I'm telling you he's afraid to be seen around the neighborhood. We keep telling it'll grow back but he just looks at us like,"Sure, sure, aren't you the same freaks that did this to me?"
Finally. Randee, as some of you kids already know, is away in Las Vegas.(Vegas Baby! Funny how nowadays whenever anyone says Las Vegas someone invariably says "Vegas Baby!" Strange how tribal we all are.)
Point is I'm Mr. Mom/Dad. Besides the crap I normally do-shell out money and drive kids-I'm trying to keep up with some of Randee's stuff. Not so easy.
Last night I picked up the little one from school, got her a snack, took her to singing lessons, went to grab a sub for older one who had to eat early because of soccer. Picked up 2 of older ones soccer friends, then picked up little one from singing and drove everyone to soccer. Dropped off soccer punks, then took little one out for supper and to do her homework. After, picked up soccer punks, drove friends home and then brought my kids back home. Also made lunches, packed snacks and got nap sack ready for field trip. My wife has been away less than 36 hours.
Surely she's ready to come home by now isn't she?
In My House, The merger of Sirius and XM won't affect me in the least. Neither of these satellite companies are interested in Me or Me and Fred. They're not alone!
In My House, yesterday several lines have been crossed.
Line 1) I went shopping with my 12 year old for a birthday present for a boy she likes. I'm pretending it didn't happen.
Line 2) On aforementioned shopping outing, 12 year old convinced me to also buy a sweater for our dog. I have to practice saying no to her. It's not easy.
Now our dog, who is the size of a shoebox, has a sweater. Sort of reminds of the old Black Hawk sweaters.
This a shot of Tucker, his sweater and the women(Randee) who claims to be his "Momma!"
Finally in my house Today, recently I hinted about something that's been pending for some time and I'd love to tell you about it but... I can't. I will soon. I need to consult with some of the other people involved first.
I will say it is good news. No, not a Radio job, but something pretty cool relating to The Book.
In My House Yesterday/Today and some Random Thinks
In My House yesterday, what a great day.
A project I've been working on for a long time is about to finally close. No I can't tell you yet, but I will soon. Hopefully.
It's the kind of thing that has been going back and forth and hanging over my head for a few months and now it's going to go forward.
I feel positively giddy. As though a weight has been lifted.
In My House yesterday as well I finished up the driveway using the Miracle Scoop Shovel I bought at Canadian Tire. Its one of those big scoop deal with the rails on the bottom. I had no idea. You just scoop/shove the snow to the end of the pile and UP and OVER and you never have to lift it.
I love my scoop shovel and I know it loves me. It told me.
In My House yesterdayMike Boon, internet genius and renown Musicologist sent me 6 versions of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. This began after he sent me the secret Gord Downie version, which only a few people have heard, and now it's officially one of my favorite songs.
I mentioned the song to him one day in passing and now my Itunes features versions from KD Lang, to John Cale to Leonard himself.
Last night I was playing it on the piano and my 9-year-old Spencer was singing it and it was just another great moment in a great day.
Randomly.
Charlie G scored 3 goals in soccer.(see Team Teal entry below.) Before you have kids you can never know how great a thing that is.
Today I have a few more interviews and then a Breast Cancer Fund raiser this weekend with Gears Bike shop and their 24 hour spin.
Also my wife is up North with some chicks so it's just me and the babies. One of them has a grade 7 school dance this afternoon. I'll just pretend it's not happening.
Then the girls and I are going to eat junky food and see a movie.
Looks like another sweet day.
In My House which is just really Random Thoughts but called something else!!
Randoms Thoughts in My House.
In my house today both of the kids are home because it's snowed a lot here in Oakville.
By far the most snow we've had all year. Drifts half way up the door and very cold.
Tell me why anyone was shoveling last night while the snow was just starting to fall.
I was driving home around 9pm and there were a couple of people already shoveling. I wanted to pull over and say,"Why are you doing this, don't you think you'll need to do this again tomorrow?"
Oh I was quite perturbed. I have time for these things you know.
In my House today I had a big Valentines Day planned. Hot Yoga with my wife, lunch and then maybe a "Nap." When I say Nap I don't mean Nap I mean an old fashioned Married Love Encounter.
Not now. Now I'll be shoveling snow and hanging out with my girls. Not a bad thing, just not a MLE.
The dog seems freaked out by the snow. He's the size of a loaf of bread. He's like a furry loaf of bread with a perma-bone. We still haven't had him fixed and so half the the time he runs around like a teenager.
The kids are quite grossed out/fascinated by his "Pink lipstick thingy."
We put him outside and he was immediately engulfed by a snow drift. He ran back in and started to cry. I'm not kidding.
Finally my 9 year old is mad because I wouldn't let her have alpha-getty for breakfast. True.
Great Image.
She then got on her snow suit and went outside. A couple of minutes later I looked outside and
there she was in a full blown snow angel. Perfectly happy. The picture of a 9 year old Canadian child on her back, eyes closed and happy as can be.
Hmmm maybe I should try that. Cheaper than Scotch.
In my House Friday, I was out from morning till night pimping the Slime. I started off taping the Gill Deacon Show at CBC-it will air Friday February 9th- and then went to a ladies day at a ski hill.
400 semi-hammered women with dough and I thought we'd sell a lot of book...uh not so much.
I can't figure out why but I'm going to.
In my House Saturday spent all day with the family concluding with Spencer's Birthday supper at a Sushi place that overcharged us 60 bucks. I left the negotiating to Randee. She's more nuanced at this stuff, I just yell.
In my House Sunday, I spoke to Internet Genius Mike Boon about starting to make some changes to my site. Some of those are already in place and more are coming.
I like the new look but I'm going to stream line things even more. I'm sure you've already figured out that I want this site to do 3 things...1)Slightly Amuse you. 2)Keep you updated on my goings on. 3)Sell The Book.
In my House Yesterday I also watched the Super Bowl. I have a separate posting coming about that. Suffice to say I was happy as I jumped on the Colts bandwagon when they beat New England.
In my house today Randee and I are getting ready for the National Bridal Show.
I would like to sell some books this weekend.
a)cause that's what I do these days.
b)these things aren't free. Entry, booths, displays=need to sell books.
In my house last night it was Birthday Sushi. Me and the girls and Mama went to our local sushi joint and had the raw fish. I love sushi. Not more than Chinese food but a lot. The reason? I can eat a lot of it and I almost never feel full. Believe me I've tried. Plus hot sake is a great little buzz.
Finally thanks to all you nice people that had some words of encouragement for my Blue-Birthday mood yesterday. It was the first for me without my Dad and it was definitely one of "Those" days.
Once my kids got home from school things picked up and I had a great night.
My daughters made me cards and both of them were very sweet and touching.
My youngest, Spencer, was especially cute.
"Dear Dad....I can not dream of being able to express my love for you. The feeling is far greater than anything, so Today on your Birthday I can only say, to have a great time in every way. It is my honor and pleasure to announce that today is a holiday to celebrate.
Your loving daughter, Spencer"
That is word for word. She's 8. I'm in trouble.
I have to go now and practice saying "no."
In my House today, I'm officially sick of being sick. It's boring me.
It started out last Tuesday as a cold/flu/voodoo curse. The flu stage lasted for a couple of days, the cold lingered and then on the weekend it developed into some kind of Bronchial-cough that has left me sounding like I've been smoking hash 24 hours a day for the last month.
At least that would have been fun. This sucks. Cough medicine, Advil cold-flu, oregano oil, every kind of Tea with honey and Vodka. I thought a little Vodka wouldn't hurt.
Today I'm finally going to the Doctor. Up till now I've been too sick!
In my house today I have to start losing weight. I'm not way over weight just over
Shouldice weight. Shouldice is the world famous hernia hospital just off of Bayview. Years ago I had a hernia repaired there and the place is great. It's like a drive-thru hernia repair shop...
You come in, hoist your groin up, they fix it and you're on your way. Now I have to have the other side done.
The thing is they have very specific guidelines as to weight because after all they have to cut through some of your flab to get to the hernia.
So I've been told I have to lose nearly 15 pounds.
15 pounds by May.
No problem. Except in about 6 weeks we're going on a cruise where I've been told I'll eat 9 times a day and remain polluted for the entire voyage.
Still if I lose a few pounds now, I can put on a few on the boat and then net out even when I get back.
All this because of a painful bulge in my pants. And not the good kind.
I'm really really sick.
I won't be doing much stuff on the site today, sorry, cause I have some kind of Death-Voodo-Head Cold. I know men are babies when it comes to being sick, but I'm sure this is some kind of thing that if it doesn't kill me will surely leave me half-crazed/daft from the fever.
I have to go now.
I'm sick. Seriously. My nose is stuffed, my head aches, I've sweated through several shirts in the last 24 hours.
For the past 17 of years of doing mornings I barely ever got sick or missed a day of work. In the last 6 months I've had more colds and sick days than in all those years combined.
Hmmmm. There's something in that data but I'm too sick right now to give a crap.
In My House yesterday I took the day off and went to a movie. Randee and I had been working hard on this Bridal Show Thing (see below) and I figured we could use a day away from The Slime.
We walked around Square One for my maximum Mall Walking time of 28 minutes, had lunch and then saw a flick.
The Good Shepard.
Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie, Robert Deniro(also directed),William Hurt, Alec Baldwin, John Turturro and a little cameo from Joe Pesci.
Here's the official blurb...
The Good Shepherd is Robert DeNiro's fictionalized account of the birth and early years of the CIA. While the names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent, many of the characters have real-life counterparts. The lengthy movie (15 minutes shy of three hours) unspools like a cold war spy novel, with betrayals, double-crosses, triple-crosses, and fluid allegiances. The protagonist isn't the most sympathetic individual to reach the screen, but the vortex of moral and ethical uncertainties in which he becomes caught makes him an intriguing, although not likeable, individual
Me, I just thought it was great. Very old fashioned type of movie in that it was all believable. Nobody flew, no one had super powers, cept the CIA, the bad guys were The Nazi's and The Ruskies and Matt Damon's character was a flawed hero, the kind you used to see in movies around the time The Godfather was released.
It's long but worth it and it was a pleasant day away from having to call people to see if they'd like to help me promote my book!
Regular HH.com peeps may have noticed that I didn't post anything new yesterday. It's because I was at the Hamilton Bridal Show.
Yes, me and a bunch of Brides and their Moms! Wow, what a nice, happy bunch to hang with.
Of course I was there selling The Book. I had this idea that a Bridal Show was the perfect place to introduce my book to Women. I was right and wrong, but mostly right.
I sold enough books to make it worthwhile but not as many as I would have liked. How's that for being vague?
I met some great people and marketed to a few thousand that may somewhere down the road, order a copy. "Great Bridal Party Gift and Perfect for Jack and Jills!"
The best thing. Working with my family. Randee, me, Charlie and Spencer were like the Von Trapps, managing our booth, handing out cards and Slimy Gummy Worms and selling the odd book.
My wife was awesome selling the book and my girls had a great time. Me, I signed books, smiled and tried not to annoy too many Brides.
In my house today Spencer has a cold. Day three. Earache, sore throat and a cough. She is having a tough time of it and that always makes me sad. On the up side for her, she's now set a Glassman family record for continuous TV watching.
In my house today I have to pick up a display for this weekends Hamilton Bridal Show. No I wasn't kidding about that post yesterday...I think a show teaming with women is the perfect place to sell The Slime That Men Do. Come on down and let's talk Slime.
And finally in my house today I'm meeting with a fairly major dude at Indigo about a Valentines day promotion. Chapters, Indigo and Coles have been awesome to me and my book and that seems like it's going to continue.
Have you heard about this little tome? It's quite humorous and of course its' for a good cause.
In my House today, I may actually go flying for the first time in a while.
TAF CYKZ 211139Z 211224 29005KT P6SM SCT080 BKN150
BECMG 1416 32010KT RMK NXT FCST BY 18Z
All that stuff really means this...
In my House today, I really need to start thinking about doing some Christmakkah shopping. I said think, I haven't actually done any yet, but I know where I'm going. Best Buy/liquor store. Wife, Kids/Friends. I'll probably drop in later today or 1st thing Friday morning, or maybe Saturday. Crowds don't bother me. By Saturday it's mainly guys doing the shopping anyway and we're quick and not too picky.
Finally in my House today, last night actually. I was looking through some recently downloaded pictures, (I use Picasa2) and found a few shots of my old family home on the day my brothers and I were all packed up and leaving.
There are two shots I'll show you. One is of the walls where the pictures hung for so many years that their imprints have left shadows.
(course 46 years of constant cigarette smoke may have had something to do with it.)
The other shot is of my brothers. They have been going through all this stuff with me and I thought you should see what they look like. The one on the right is the youngest David, followed by the middle brother Steven (who as you can see looks the youngest) and then me the oldest in the family. (I thought I'd better suck up to them or they may be pissed that I put up their pictures without asking!)
We're smiling but trust me it was a freaky, sad, heavy-hearted moment. The last time all three of us would be together in that house.
It's The Festival of Lights, where the kids light a candle every day for 8 days...or at least the nights we remember. Last night we forgot, it happens. It wasn't until Night 3 that we remembered to give them a present.
We do both, the Hanukkah and The Xmas or Santa-Mass. Cause that's how we roll in Oakville's G-unit.
In my house this morning my 8-soon to be 9 year-old is starting to question the existence of Santa Claus. Why look, here he is now.
She was asking me this morning on the way to school if Santa was real. I of course do the parent thing and ask her what she thinks. She say, maybe, maybe not but would I tell her for certain if it turns out he's not.
I say no.
She then asks me if it's in "The Parents Handbook" to keep the whole thing a secret.
She's a lot like her mother, she's funny without meaning to be.
We leave it alone for now but I can tell she's struggling to hang on. This will definitely be the last year.
Finally in my house we had our dog "Tucker's" hair cut. He's a strange looking little dude to begin with but now he looks positively bizarre. His head looks like its been shrunken. Poor little guy.
Here's a shot of him with one of his "Girlfriends" He spends a good portion of his day either licking his little private area or humping this slipper like a maniac.
Sorry bout the red-eye.
This is my backyard in Moose Jaw. My old backyard. My parents bought this house 6 months after I was born in 1960 and my family has owned it ever since. Today it will belong to someone else. Today the sale of our family's home closes and yet another sad chapter is complete.
Most of you know my father died. It was 7 weeks ago today and today is the day we no longer own this house.
I learned how to golf in this backyard. My Dad and I would chip balls back and forth and he would check my grip and teach me some of the basics of the swing. Lou loved the theory of golf and was worrying over his back swing and weight transfer until his last day.
I know it seems strange to a lot of you who are my age. Your parents downsized or moved, maybe after you left home or were finished college. Not me. I slept in my old bed in my old house until a couple of weeks ago and as of today it's not my room anymore.
I spoke to a friend recently who just lost her sister and she talked of the grief coming in waves.
Today is a pretty big one.
Before I left the house in November I took a sharpie and found an exposed beam in the laundry room and wrote...
"The Glassman family. 1960-2006
Lou, Luba, David, Steven and Howard"
Then I signed it. Then I cried.
I moved away from Moose Jaw nearly 28 years ago but today, I feel like I just left home.
In my house today I'm on the road promoting the Slime.
I'll be in Buffalo taping a TV interview with my buddy Jon May at Fox29.
This thing will air sometime next week, I'll let you know. He's scheduled like the full half hour so I'll have to figure out what to talk about after I've exhausted my 10 minutes of material!
Also in my house, the little one is sick. I don't know about your kids but mine seem to take turns staying home from school. The 8-year-old is quite the actress but today she really does seem ill. Sore throat, lethargic ect. Like all kids, though, she'll most likely be better by lunch and driving her mother nuts.
Finally in my house today my Humble Howard Publishing partner Jason Crawford tells me that Indigo is getting ready to do a big Valentines day promo with The Slime That Men Do starting in January. Cool. Well done JC, this guy is the dude that has all the inside pull with these book people and is responsible for you seeing the book in stores and not just online.
In my house today I'm going to be sitting through one of those kids Xmas things at school. I know, I know they don't call them Xmas shows anymore. They're called Holiday Shows. I think that's weak. As a Jew-Dude I could care less if you call it Xmas or Jesus-Mass or whatever, just have some fun, sing about the reindeer and lets move on.
People have gotten way too politically correct with this stuff the past few years. I've actually had people wish me a Merry Christmas and then stop themselves.
"Oohh sorry, I forgot, you don't celebrate Christmas,pardon me!"
Like I'm going to throw a fit and get all offended. Maybe if they said Merry Christmas you Jewey non-believer, slayer of our Lord!
That might be a bit annoying.
Also in my house today, I have a doctors appointment for the first time in a long time. I need to have a physical soon but todays visit is about sleep. I need to get some help cause the sleep thing isn't working. Maybe he can help. I fall asleep all right, i just can't stay asleep. Maybe he'll subscribe some sort of lullaby series I could listen to.
Finally in my house we're debating about a tree again this year. I want one, kids do too but Mrs Humble is saying its a no go. Last year was the first time since we'd met that we didn't have one and it was a bit of a drag. Easier cleaning up though.
Yes we're Jews, but we love Santa coming down the chimney. Who wouldn't.
Even without a tree last year we still hung our stockings with care and put out cookies and milk and carrots.
If I had to bet I'd say no tree again this year. Mrs Humble has a lot of power when it comes to these things, but maybe we can decorate a plant or something and put our presents around that.
In my house today Charlie gets' braces. Weird. I remember when Fred's daughter got them and how young my baby was at the time and just how grown up I thought his kid was. Well now my girl is at that age and his daughter is a young women. Strange he and I don't seem any older, except when we look in the mirror.
Also in my house today one of the perks of being fired. I get to go to my youngest daughters school for an grade 3 breakfast slash come-participate-in-the-class activities. I never used to be able to make all of these, now I get to/have to go! It's one of those Dad things that is always good for the first 10-15 minutes and then drags on for an hour too long. Don't tell her that. The trick to Dad-hood is to act like it's the greatest thing in the world. In a lot of ways it is.
And finally in my house today, speaking of Dad's, my boxes arrive from Moose Jaw. Thanks to my buddy Thomas J Roberts of DHL all the stuff I took from my old house in the Jaw is being delivered to my place. It was odd packing it all up and shutting down 1047 Henry Street after 46 years and it will be equally odd having some of those things here. My two best things? My Dad's old chair and his golf clubs. I'm not sure if having things here to remind me of his passing will be a good thing or not...I'll let you know.
In my House today I'm still fighting a cold. Not the FBC (full blown cold) but the remnants. I'm no longer blowing my nose 15 times an hour, now I have a pleasant dry hacking cough. Very nice.
BTW ^^^^^^^ is not a picture of me but of some other Japanese women with a toilet roll on her head.
In my house today we have a parent-teacher interview. Nothing makes me feel older than squeezing into some small desk and talking about my child's progress. It's not just the environment, but the fact that for quite some time now I've got at least several decades on most of my kids instructors/piano teachers/school teachers. Thank goodness for a few of her soccer coaches, at least those old buggers were born in the same decade! (yeah you EL!)
Finally in house today I've been getting a lot of question about the recent radio ratings. It felt weird not being a part of the Book for the first time in over 17 years.
Do I feel bitter?
No.
Do I feel mistreated?
Absolutely not.
Do I miss it?
Kinda.
I feel like this. I miss my friends in the business and the people in the building. I miss goofing around in an office and having somewhere to go. I miss making strange noises with Bob and Andy and Stupid and Elliot and Leslie and Judy. I still make those noises on the phone with Fred.
I don't miss getting up at 3:15 and actually doing the job...yet. But I know that's coming!
In my house today my oldest daughter is getting "spacers" which are apparently the precursor to the Braces which will go on this Friday. It's different now than when I was a kid,
A)My parents couldn't afford braces and
B) People who had them were Not Cool!
Now all the kids have them and it's apparently no big deal.
Next week I'm supposed to take her to have her eyes checked out for contacts. She has glasses which she never wears and claims to "not be able to find anyway" and apparently those are Not Cool but contacts are. I just want her to be able to see and to stop squinting.
Also in my house today I have a FBC. That's full-blown-cold. It started last week in Moose Jaw and has now blossomed into a massive snot and sneeze festival. I know it's a FBC cause I can't stop blowing my nose and I'm drinking tea. I don't normally choose tea but it seems more cold-friendly than coffee. I don't know why that is or if it even makes any sense. FBC's also muddy up your head.
Finally in My house say hi to Tucker.
Hi Tucker!
Tucker is our 8 month old dog. That picture above is from one of his "Play Dates!". I'm not kidding.
He's the little black one with his ass to the camera. We love this dog as all families love their pets, and today is the day Tucker loses his gonads.
I feel bad for him. As the only other male in the house I can't help but empathize with his impending operation.
Does he suspect anything? Will he be mad at us? What will he say?
"Hey, you guys, this Vet just ripped my nuts out and your okay with this?"
All day long I've been watching him laying in kitchen with the sun streaming in and thinking, poor guy. He's about to have his little berries snipped. I wonder if he'll still continue dry-humping his favorite slipper? Maybe she won't want him to anymore. I know the sight of his little red-thingy is freaking out my kids. Now they know how they're mother feels!
In my house today, I'm off to sign books at the Eaton's Centre between noon and 3. If your in the area drop by and say something so I won't look so pathetic sitting there by myself. Some dopey bastard holding onto a sharpie and pining for some book sales. Remember each book gets dough for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation and there's nothing wrong with buying 3 or 4 at a time.
Also in my house today, we have started to plan our xmas party schedule. I hate this. Who are we going to see, when, our house/their house....don't get me wrong, I love the visiting but hate the planning.
Finally in my house we've decided to bring back xmas. It's a longer story then I have time now but suffice to say, we're Jews that love The Santa Season. Last year we went Tree-Free, but this year it's coming back baby. My wife says it's okay to have a tree up and stuff but we can't put up lights. Her reason? She doesn't think G*D can see into our house and so maybe he won't know! Anyway, the decorations are coming back up from the basement.
In my house today pretty busy.
I'm giving a speech to a gathering of Big Brothers and Big Sisters in Oakville at 12:30. Oh yes, just what the 5-18 crowd needs a former DJ in his mid-40's trying to explain "How To Be Successful!"
Later its a big fund raising Gala at LKTYP called Hullabaloo! It's a full afternoon of fun and families and Suessical The Musical. Tickets for the December show are going fast, call early to avoid disappointment.
Tonight in my house, I'm going back to Moose Jaw. I've got more post-dad stuff to do and not only is it going to be sad but now apparently it's going to be cold as well. See the forecast entry below.
Finally, thanks to everybody who came to say hi at the Oakville Chapters on Saturday, I sold a bunch of books (a bunch meaning 25!) and met a lot of nice people who seemed to find me less attractive in person! My daughter Spencer sold one of those. I told her she had to help me or she wouldn't be getting any more food. Hey whatever it takes, right?
Just one thing on my mind in my house today. My dad. It's been 4 weeks since he died and I woke up thinking of him today. I have to go back to Moose Jaw late Sunday night to spend a few days packing up the house and I'm not looking forward to it.
It's weird cause both my bro's have good friends in the area and will no doubt have reasons to go back there. My best Moose Jaw friends live here so I don't know why I'd ever go back, now that my dad's not there. All I know is that this is part of the process and the process ain't over yet.
I've had some great support from a lot of people...family, friends, former co-workers, you nice people and it's much appreciated. I was going over some e-mail and I came across one of my favorite notes from one of my best pals Fraser P. When I was at a fairly low point this came through on my BlackBerry and among other things, made me laugh.
Subject: Remembering Sweet Lou
Howard,
I just got off the phone w/ Randee and she told me you are still in Moosejaw (it just occurred to me that I do not think I have ever written the word Moosejaw), until Sunday.I know you are probably physically and emotionally exhausted, but I just wanted to let you know I have been thinking of you. I was not surprised when Angela told me about your Father, Sweet Lou, passing, however, I was very sad.
I know how much you loved him and how much your relationship meant to the both of you. You should take tremendous solace in the fact that through all the conversations, hugs, Tiger talk, trips and the beautiful open way you express your love for the people close to you, your Dad knew how much you loved him. So much that I ‘m sure he’ll forgive you for leaving him in Winnipeg for eternity.
I understand you are taking care of grown up things over the next few days, good luck with all of that, and I hope to see you soon on your return so we can toast your Dad and be grateful his kind spirit lives on through his children and theirs.
Fraser
What a good friend huh? To think we were so hammered on a gold trip years ago that in the middle of dinner I punched him in the shoulder so hard he almost fell over. Why the shoulder? Cause I liked him to much to punch him in the head!
Boys+drinking+golf+insults+more drinking=acting like a-holes.
I have to do this quick as I'm out the door for most of the day.
In my house today I have to meet with the nice people I volunteer with from LKTYP. It's a great organization that puts on amazing plays and programming for young people...if you get a chance check out Seussical the Musical, my 8 year says it's a "must see!"
In my house today, I'm doing more flying. I am trying to brush up on my instrument skills and I'm going to be doing some more approaches today. Then I have a cool flight with a dude who bid on a chance to go flying with me for a few hours as part of a charity thing for Breakfast for Learning.
We'll head up North and then over to Peterborough and then back to ButtonVille. The weather is supposed to be amazing, hopefully this guy doesn't get all pukey!
In my house today I have more Slime to promote. I'll be on Rogers Daytime Friday and a bunch of Radio the week of December 4. I'm heading back to Moose Jaw with my brother next week.(more about that later.)
I'll be at Chapters in Oakville on Dorval, Saturday between 2-4. Come buy the Slime and have the Slime Signed!
In my house today, it turns out my 12 year old really was sick and is staying home for another day. Parents know that weird worry where you go from thinking your kids are faking it to be scared that something is really wrong. She was too sick to eat supper and went to bed at 7:30-sick.
She's feeling a bit better today.
In my house my wife is upstairs running on our treadmill. We've had this thing for nearly 2 years and this is the first time in like 20 months anyones touched it. This is the result of one of those married people "discussions" that are never just "discussions!"
Me: I think we should get rid of the treadmill, we never use it and we could probably get some good dough for it.
Her: No, then we wouldn't have it and we'd never get one again.
Me: So! we don't use it so why would we care. ("discussion" starts to ramp up here...)
Her: That's stupid! We have it why don't we just keep it.
Well things went on from there. No need to guess how this debate ended, my wife is upstairs running on our treadmill.
Finally in my house today, I've got to go to the dentist then I'm going to do some flying. I've scheduled a lesson with a very good flight instructor to brush up on my IFR skills. I've had my ticket since May but I don't want my abilities to get too rusty. Flying is one of those things you can only do well or you won't be doing much longer.
Posted by Humble on November 22, 2006 @ 07:35|Permalink
In My House November 21
In my house today my 12 year old is sick. Remember being sick as a kid? How is it that as soon at the time you were supposed to be at school passes you miraculously get better!
Well Charlie (my eldest daughter) isn't feeling well. Some kind of mystery fever and headache. It's just about 9am, I just checked and she's watching TV and eating cereal and seems to be on her way to a "full recovery!"
In my house today I had better start watching my weight. Again. Last January I started this whole diet regime and lost about 20lbs. Since July (when I was fired) and most recently in October when I went to Moose Jaw to be with my father, (and ate every meal covered in gravy) I've gained back around 10 pounds. I'm not Fat Guy fat again yet, but I'm on my way. By the way if you do want to gain some weight I recommend the steady diet of Beer and Gravy. Hmmm Beer with Gravy shooters. Hmmmm..
Finally in my house today I'm looking at the sky. I'm thinking of going flying later this week and just hope I get a day like today. The forecast is looking good. I don't' know about you but at this time of year I try not to get to far ahead of myself when it comes to the weather. I know it's going to start being cold and snowing and sucking soon, but for at least the next 3-4 days it's supposed to be sunny and warm. (That last sentence may be the sappiest thing I've ever written. This is what happens when you spend a lot of your day in sweatpants!)
In my house today we celebrated our 17th anniversary last night with a great meal at a great restaurant with a great bottle of wine. Now I'm feeling, you know, not so great. It was worth it. Came home, no kids and things happened. Yes married people we went to sleep!
In my house today, I've to prep for Breakfast Television. Monday sometime after 7am I'll be on and I'm told this show is the one that will sell a lot of books. The problem is I had to send in my favorite 5 stories to them a few days ago and now I can't remember what I told them. I have a vague idea but who the hell knows which ones exactly? I'll figure out something and then just BS the rest of it. Do I have to wear suspenders?
In my house today, I'd like to watch the Grey Cup but my wife has booked us into a Kosher meal at restaurant called Jerusalem with my cousins. I know how this happens. She is in charge of the family schedule and sometimes without paying attention to what I'm being asked, I just agree. Later I find out I'm going to be eating blintzes and borscht instead of nachos and beer in front of the TV. Hopefully I'll catch the last half. Go BC!
Finally in my house I promised to tell you how I ruined my wife's surprise gift. Cause I'm an idiot that's how. I had some pictures of the girls framed by a place called Peachtree Gallery, great guys on Uppper Middle in Oakville. The dudes call me on Friday to tell me the frame is ready to pick up. Cool, right? Wrong. I was on and off the phone for a couple of hours on Friday and when Randee got home I was trying to remember who called for her and what messages were left. So I went to the phone and was checking the call display and said, "uh someone from Peachtree Gallery called and ......." I just looked at her and stared. She stared back and in that moment we both knew that I had just screwed up.
We laughed hysterically for a good couple of minutes and she claimed not to know what the present was, but the surprise was ruined.
Still she loved the gift.
Bush, Borat, Britney Spears, Hot Sex and Wedding Anniversaries!
My House November 17
My Geek Bud, Mike Boon was talking about how I could get my Google ranking up if I titled my entries with more popular search words.
Ergo, Bush, Borat, etc. Yes, I used "ergo" and I don't care.
This is a thing I started yesterday where I basically run down the mundane goings on ofMy House.
In my house tonight, the big decision. Drink or not. Between getting fired and then my Dad dieing(3 weeks ago tonight) there haven't been a lot of "Drink" free evenings. I'm not talking about getting hammered I'm talking about just a few glasses of Red or maybe a couple of nice Scotches.
I like Scotch, I call it Comfort Booze. I'll let you know.
In my house this weekend...Saturday is my 17th Wedding Anniversary. Wow. Randee and I have been together 17 years married, and 18 and a half years together. I used to joke that what we had in common is that we're both in love with me. But the truth is we're both in Love with each other. Awwwww. Anyway, Saturday we're getting rid of the kids and going to a nice place for dinner. Chances are you-know-what is going to happen. You married people know what I mean. No kids, some booze, soft lights-late night...yes, we're bound to fall asleep in front of the TV!
If you knew my wife you'd know how lucky I am. Sunday, I'll tell you how I ruined her surprise gift.
In my house Sunday, I'm going to try and visit my best pal Dan's wife Jackie. She's been really sick the last few weeks and I want to go and try and cheer her up.
Also Sunday my cousins from Winnipeg are coming to town and we're going to have a Kosher meal with them at a Place called Jerusalem.
My family keeps Kosher here in Oakville, you know except for the pea meal bacon, pork chops and shell fish.
I always read these Blog. To me some of the more intriguing ones deal with the semi-mundane, the Normal, day to day life stuff we all go through. I'd like to add an element of that to HumbleHoward.com.
So to that end I give you the first installment of something I call My House.
My House November 16
Yesterday my wife Randee sat me down and applied for the job of Vice-President Marketing, Humble Howard Publishing. She explained that since she was doing all sorts of stuff for me from organizing e-mail to getting us a Visa Merchant number and machine, to sending out books to people who want them,she should stop looking for a job or starting to work for her brother Don and dedicate herself to this project. (BTW if you want us to sell to you directly including shipping and autographed copy we can)
I said fine. No sweat. Your hired. Now pass the tuna.
She went on some more about how this would benefit the organization and some other stuff but I told her that the position was already hers.
I did mention however, that there would be some sexual favors included in the gig but that they would be infrequent and for the most part painless.
Also in my house.
My niece is visiting while she applies for jobs with law firms. She is very smart, kind and sweet and I'm very proud of her. I tried to get her to admit that I'm her favorite uncle but she's too smart, kind and sweet to be easily sucked in.
In my house this morning, my 12 year old kisses me goodbye while I'm still in bed cause I had another crappy sleep. After all the years of getting up at 3:15 sometimes I wake up around that time and just lay blinking at the ceiling for a couple of hours. Last night was like that. I woke up around 2:45 and got back to sleep in the 5's. Consequently I was still in bed at 7:30.
Finally in my house today, I signed some books, had a great time on the radio with Andrew Krystal in Halifax, had lunch and looked at hot waitresses at Philthy Mcnasty's with my buddy Lumby and now I'm going to spend the afternoon marketing The Slime Book till the kids come home.
